The Cocktail Party Thread (a.k.a. The "Jack This Thread" Thread)

[The Mormegil]

Anyone want to give me a massage, i hurt and i'm exhausted!

[fencergal33]

Oh Morm! I'll do it! ....must repay favors.....

[fencergal]

Originally Posted by The Mormegil

Anyone want to give me a massage, i hurt and i'm exhausted!

Hurt and exhauested from what morm? Have to see if it justify's a massage! lol

[fencergal33]

Now behave your self 'gal, before Gav comes in here and tells us to "keep it clean" again!

[Nusy]

Originally Posted by The Mormegil

Anyone want to give me a massage, i hurt and i'm exhausted!

I can only say I've learnt how to make sports massages... and for our future Winter King (if I don't beat you...)

[Inquartata]

Originally Posted by Nusy

belly-dance

Suddenly you have my full attention.

[Nusy]

Nah, I don't really know how to belly-dance - yet. I know some basic steps, but I'll only start regular classes next year...

[swordwench]

Speaking of bellies, don't you think there should be an age cut-off for women getting their belly buttons pierced? I've seen some that have absolutely no business getting pierced. Where is their sense of decorum? It's just... icky.

[Epee_Pox]

I agree. And similarly, isn't it just wrong to see small children with pierced ears? It seems so... tawdry.

[Gav]

Pierced ears in the under 16s are [techinically] against health and safety regulations over here. That doesn't stop the tasteless cretins doign so.

As a side note I was walking down the street yesterday; when I was passed by a father (I assume) and his two daughters. One of which was wearing a pair of pedal pusher and black stilettos ... she couldn't have been much more than 12. For gods sake ...

Pass the canapes - I'm starving.

[Goofy]

Here you go, Gav.

Coffee, anyone?

Anyway, along with minimum and maximum age limits for piercings we should also impose minimum and maximum weight limits for spandex-style clothing.

[Gav]

Yeah, that's another pet hate. Fat women in tight clothes. When I see an cigarette smoking overwieght [invariably wearing innappropriate clothing that allows her belly to sag over the top of her tracksuit bottoms*] woman pushing a buggy (containing ear-pierced baby) down the street, with a bag of Turkey Twizzlers in her free hand - while some moronic brat capers around fancy-dressed as ****; it makes me want to vomit. To me it looks as though it's the wrong people who are breeding.

I like to think of myself as harsh; but fair.

Where the hell are those canapes?

Let's face it she's never done a days exercise in her life.

[Goofy]

Originally Posted by Gav

Where the hell are those canapes?

Right in front of you, Chief. Or were you momentarily blinded by the remembrance of the fat biffa with the bingo wings and her bunters?

[Gav]

It's my eyes deary ... not what they used to be. Of course now that I am the wrong side of 30 my warranty's up and they say I can't get a refund. I fought in the war you know!

Be a good 'un and push 'em a little closer, my back back's playing silly buggers. I've got some pills for that round here somewhere ...

Where was I? Oh yes warranties ... bloody rip off; you go into a store and some spotty oik looks down his nose and says "Ok gran'pa what do you want" so I tell him to watch his manners and get me a TXK30 mkIII or he'll feel the back of my hand" .. so he refuses to serve me ... I don't know youth of today .... I mean he wasn't a day over 25! Thinks he's got his whole life ahead if him he does. And he does too!
...
pass the canapes deary
...
I fought in the war you know!
....
...

[swordwench]

Hmm - Gav, you're over 30... Remember that classic movie "Logan's Run"? Isn't it about time we put you on Carousel, there, mate?

I dunno, there's something almost comforting about not having to have my ID with me when I pull out my platinum Visa card and buy a bottle of scotch. Not that your average under-age puke is gonna be buying a bottle of 18-year-old Macallan, mind you...

What war were you in? I love a man in uniform... or out of...

[fencergal33]

And another thing!

It drives me absolutely crazy that you must have a license to catch a fish, own a dog, drive a car, have a business, etc. etc. etc., but where is the parenting license?!?!?!?! I think you should have to take a test or something...

Sample:

Question #1
If your infant is sticking small things in his mouth what do you do?
a) ignore it, if he doesn't like the taste, he'll stop.
b) Let him swallow the object. Odds are, it'll pass.
c) Retrieve small object from child, and replace with something more appropriate.

Question #2
If your 3 year old is throwing a tantrum in the parking lot at the mall, what do you do?
a) Leave her there. Maybe she'll get run over and you won't have to deal with her anymore.
b) pick her up by her hair and drag her in the direction you'd like her to go.
c) calmly soothe her and diffuse the situation before dealing with it at a more appropriate time.


Question #3
Your teenager tries to leave the house looking like swings from a pole every night. You,
a) Let her go. Maybe she'll get pregnant, and then you can pawn her off on some poor unsuspecting guy to take care of her.
b) Say: "Hey, you're dressed like a *****."
c) Sit down and talk to her about appropriate attire and how she presents herself.


Would it be so bad to do a little screening before people become parents?!?!?!

[Pauli]

I think, it's kinda difficult to have people - argh, women only? or men too? (and this is only the first one....) make a screening test, since:
1. in how many cases does it just happen.....
in other words, at some point you're just stuck being a parent without having wanted it.
are you going to do the test and when you don't pass you have the little one growing slowely but surely aborted?????

2. isn't this something that belongs to the constitutional rights of - lets keep it neutral - people, to grow a family?
what do you tell people who don't pass - hey, you suck, you can't have kids because you didn't pass the test?
or - hey, you have to visit a shrink because you didn't pass the test, come back again after the 10 compulsory visits?
- who is going to pay for the shrink? the general public? I know I won't agree to that one......

and so on.

What I DO agree with is = some people are not abt to being a parent or do not realize what it takes to be a parent.....
But that's a very unobjective outing......the parents themselfs won't agree to it. What then?

Cheers

[swordwench]

Originally Posted by Pauli

2. isn't this something that belongs to the constitutional rights of - lets keep it neutral - people, to grow a family?
what do you tell people who don't pass - hey, you suck, you can't have kids because you didn't pass the test?
or - hey, you have to visit a shrink because you didn't pass the test, come back again after the 10 compulsory visits?
- who is going to pay for the shrink? the general public? I know I won't agree to that one......

Well... not exactly. We will just say, HEY, YOU"RE TOO INCOMPETENT TO BE A PARENT. Not that I'm going to be up for the coveted Mom of the Year Award anytime soon, mind you.

Being a parent myself, and a taxpayer, and a former teacher, I can vouch for the fact that not everyone is cut out to be a parent. I've seen it all. I've had the offspring of bad parents in my home as relatives and play dates, and in my classroom as students. I've seen unwed teens make excellent mothers, and men with PhDs make pathetic fathers. It has little to do with intelligence, and everything to do with good judgment and maturity. Some people just shouldn't breed.

If only there were a valid test.

[Fencergrl]

Originally Posted by swordwench

Some people just shouldn't breed.

If only there were a valid test.

There is! The problem solves itself... see this