The Cocktail Party Thread (a.k.a. The "Jack This Thread" Thread)

[Gav]

Well considerning that I've finished most of sausage rolls and am now moving onto the sandwhich platter (Tch! Corned beef ... tut tut) you can help yourself.

Sorry Lou' I don't have my shaker with me. You might want to check out the barman - he supposedly does a nice line in Slippery Dicks. Someone at the DJ booth told me while I was demonstrating my Slydogg.

[Zilverzmurfen]

I'm old enough to drink. Why hasn't anyone gotten me a beer yet?!

[swordwench]

I was sitting in the most adorable little place in Salisbury a few years ago, eating a Cornish pasty. Then this big yahoo Texan who'd just come off a tour said - in regards to Stonehenge - STONEHENGE, mind you! - "Well, it's just a big pile of ROCKS." Idiot. Then he questioned the serving wench on why they call "that food over there" a Cornish pasty when "it ain't got no CORN in it." I told people after that that I'm Canadian.

[Gav]

I'm old enough to drink. Why hasn't anyone gotten me a beer yet?!

Because it's a cocktail party! Why don't we see if the nice barman will fix you up with a slippery nipple; I'm pretty sure you'd like that. So how are things in Sweden? I'm thinking of doing Copenhagen next month. Assuming, of course, that I can drag myself away from this party.

How about a game of Twister everyone?

[Have At You]

No thanks. Last time we played, if you remember, Craig released some noxious internal gases and Maeve threw up on Inq. (Though perhaps the two events weren't related, come to think of it...)

[Zilverzmurfen]

Because it's a cocktail party! Why don't we see if the nice barman will fix you up with a slippery nipple; I'm pretty sure you'd like that. So how are things in Sweden? I'm thinking of doing Copenhagen next month. Assuming, of course, that I can drag myself away from this party.

How about a game of Twister everyone?

If you care to explain the rules.

Things are nice over here. Club activity has recently started. Unfortunately I can't afford to go to the Copenhagen, but I'm off to Norway next week to try and defend my honour. Wish me luck.

...oh, and pass me a caïpirinha anyone!

[Gav]

I was sitting in the most adorable little place in Salisbury a few years ago, eating a Cornish pasty. Then this big yahoo Texan who'd just come off a tour said - in regards to Stonehenge - STONEHENGE, mind you! - "Well, it's just a big pile of ROCKS." Idiot. Then he questioned the serving wench on why they call "that food over there" a Cornish pasty when "it ain't got no CORN in it." I told people after that that I'm Canadian.

Why would he think that it would involve corn? Cornish implies corn-like which is not the same as sayng there is corn in it. And I hate to say this but it conforms to the stereotype of "stupid americans" that I have to deal with in the holiday season.

I think I need a bit of cake after all that.

[swordwench]

Why would he think that it would involve corn? Cornish implies corn-like which is not the same as sayng there is corn in it. And I hate to say this but it conforms to the stereotype of "stupid americans" that I have to deal with in the holiday season.

I think I need a bit of cake after all that.

Yeah, that's why I said I was Canadian. (Cornwall, corn, whatever...) So, can you rustle me up a drink there, big fella?

The holidays can be so stressful. In-law invasions abound.

[Gav]

Yeah, that's why I said I was Canadian. (Cornwall, corn, whatever...) So, can you rustle me up a drink there, big fella?

The holidays can be so stressful. In-law invasions abound.

I'm not the barman - I'm just talented.

[sabreur]

Yeah, that's why I said I was Canadian. (Cornwall, corn, whatever...) So, can you rustle me up a drink there, big fella?

The holidays can be so stressful. In-law invasions abound.

Well, you know, better in-law invasions than out-of-country invasions.....

Or was that an out-of-body experience?

[fencergal33]

And I hate to say this but it conforms to the stereotype of "stupid americans" that I have to deal with in the holiday season.

You know, when I was in Edinburgh a few years back, I was sitting in a pub with a few other girls and we met some nice, albeit drunk, locals sporting their kilts. They decided to talk to us and buy us some drinks, and as the evening progressed, they had some strange questions. Apparently, one of the only American shows they had seen on TV was "Jerry Springer", so they asked us if all American girls were bisexual, being that all of them were on that show. I thought it was hilarious!

[Gav]

You know, when I was in Edinburgh a few years back, I was sitting in a pub with a few other girls and we met some nice, albeit drunk, locals sporting their kilts. They decided to talk to us and buy us some drinks, and as the evening progressed, they had some strange questions. Apparently, one of the only American shows they had seen on TV was "Jerry Springer", so they asked us if all American girls were bisexual, being that all of them were on that show. I thought it was hilarious!

Don't confuse the yokels (aka Schemies) with your average Scot. Most of us are actually quite well read and worldly wise. I suspect they were pulling your leg - irony being a staple bit of brit humour after all.

Actually come to think about it - schemies are probably your average Scot. They are a good example were sterilisation at birth could be useful.

Further thought: If you were in Edinburgh it was likely you didn't meet anyone scottish anyway - Edinburgh is full of English students (aka Ya's).

So did they show you what they had under their kilts?

[fencergal33]

So did they show you what they had under their kilts?

They most certainly did, which is why I believe they were true Scots (albeit probably yokels) .....there was quite a bit to see under there!

[Gav]

They most certainly did, which is why I believe they were true Scots (albeit probably yokels) .....there was quite a bit to see under there!

Y'know I once convinced a woman that the sporran was actually used to err keep things warm. Therefore, traditionally, kilts had a hole in them which was used to give you umm access to the sporran. She swallowed it! She also bought the story I told her about Pakora originally being made with Elephants testicles so I suppose she was pretty gullible.

Where's the cake? I'm finished with the savoury buffet and I want something sweet. Anyone got a request for the DJ?

[swordwench]

Y'know I once convinced a woman that the sporran was actually used to err keep things warm. Therefore, traditionally, kilts had a hole in them which was used to give you umm access to the sporran. She swallowed it! She also bought the story I told her about Pakora originally being made with Elephants testicles so I suppose she was pretty gullible.

Where's the cake? I'm finished with the savoury buffet and I want something sweet. Anyone got a request for the DJ?

Last time I saw DJ (Apostrophe, that is), he was going house on some epeeists at the club. In fact, he soundly kicked my butt before breaking all his weapons, but was quite a gentleman about it. Why, does he owe you money?

[fencergal33]

[QUOTE=Gav] She swallowed it! QUOTE]



Probably not the best thing to say here.....

[Gav]

Well as I have already demonstrated my cocktail experience I don't know what you are referring to.

[oso97]

Its been a long time since I owed anyone money. However, I think there are a couple of outstanding debts of other forms that I need to pay off. Yea, writing is always good for the soul. I wonder about the swallowing though. Because that could be another form of paying off a debt.

[sabreur]

I think Gav's going to look like the Titanic if he keeps attacking the buffet. Although if it were me, and I was referring to an overlarge rear-end in a pair of fencing knickers, I'd probably compare it to the iceberg.

[swordwench]

Do these knickers make me look fat? Because I really don't like wearing white on my lower half. I wish we could wear a more slimming color. Or at least something with vertical stripes.