The Cocktail Party Thread (a.k.a. The "Jack This Thread" Thread)

[Saber-Psycho]

Oh, speaking of lasting a long time, did you know that they can freeze dry your pet, and you can keep Fido by your side forever!

[Capt. Slo-mo]

I had a mole frozen off my side last year. I keep it in a jar on the mantle.

[Zelda]

on the mantle? I personally would have framed it. I got the nicest wall hanging framed last week.

[ThatReallyHurt]

All the siding and stucco on the outside walls of my house has been taken off, and boy... what's underneath is UGLY.

[Grasshopper]

Barbara Streisand was actually pretty ugly, but hot at the same time. In Japanese we would say, Kimo-Kawai, which directly translates to "Makes me want to puke, and cute at the same time".

[sabreur]

Barbara Streisand was actually pretty ugly, but hot at the same time. In Japanese we would say, Kimo-Kawai, which directly translates to "Makes me want to puke, and cute at the same time".

I always thought the worst thing about frat parties in college was the cult of drinking until you puke.

[ThatReallyHurt]

Speaking of which... why do dogs eat grass clippings?

[Grasshopper]

dog meat actually tastes quite good. Dog-loaf, BBQ Dog, Dog-kebabs...mmmmmmmm

[sabreur]

dog meat actually tastes quite good. Dog-loaf, BBQ Dog, Dog-kebabs...mmmmmmmm

You know, I feed my dogs fried grasshoppers,and they don't puke!

[Gav]

Good party this! What's that? Yes the buffet aint bad - pity there's no free drink ...

[Louweasel]

You know, I feed my dogs fried grasshoppers,and they don't puke!

I haven't got a dog, but I do have an inflatable cat. And an adorable knitted Monkey; recognisable to the British after an amusing and popular tv ad campaign.

[Gav]

I haven't got a dog, but I do have an inflatable cat. And an adorable knitted Monkey; recognisable to the British after an amusing and popular tv ad campaign.

He was a chimp not a monkey!

[sabreur]

I haven't got a dog, but I do have an inflatable cat. And an adorable knitted Monkey; recognisable to the British after an amusing and popular tv ad campaign.

Hi Lou, nice to see you! You're looking like a super-hot female! You know, I was at a bachelor party in London once; the guest of honor was an inflatable sheep.

[Zelda]

rather an inflatable sheep than an inflatable doll. Speaking of which do those things come with repair kits?

[Gav]

No, but you can get a repair kid for a couple of quid.

Which reminds me. It's the world extreme bike championship finals in Scotland this week. I wonder if it's enought to add 'extreme to the front of a past time to make it appeal to spotty oiks? How about Extreme Fencing (aka Duelling), Extreme Football (aka the fight afterwards or Extreme Synchronised Swimming (ok I'm struggling ... maybe they do it in the nude).

Kids today eh? Pass that plate of sausage rolls over I'm famished. Seeing as this is a cocktail party I think I'll go and get a slow comfortable screw up against the wall.

[fencergal33]

Slow Comfortable Screws aren't bad, but I really prefer Sex on the Beach.

[sabreur]

Too much sand.

I'd rather have a beer with a good head. Oh, I think this is going south quickly--anyone for a trip north?

[Gav]

I think the best description of 'going south' I've heard recently is "the whole down below front thing". Now that I've finished my 'Screw I think I'll ask the barmaid for another. Her last one was ace. What can I say? She handles her tumblers well. If she's not up for another, I suppose I could just get a Snowball instead, or maybe see if I can get my hands on a White Russian.

[Louweasel]

I quite fancy an Orgasm. Anyone? Come on, get your shaker out!

Extreme Synchronised Swimming - maybe they could have razor blades taped to their hands and feet so they have to get the movements exactly right or they slash each other to ribbons.

Why thank you for the compliment Sabreur; I like to dress up for parties. You're looking very handsome and well-groomed yourself. Have an olive.

Gav, stop hogging the sausage rolls. This is clearly a retro seventies-themed buffet, so I'll swap you for the cheese-and-pineapple on sticks. *goes off to look for the mushroom vol-au-vents*

[fencergal33]

Don't you think hors d'ouvres (sp?) is spelled totally wrong? I mean, I know it's supposed to be French and everything, but apparently they can't spell! I'd much prefer it to be something like orderves.

Anyway, have you noticed most of the youngins' haven't shown up to our marvelous cocktail party? Maybe it's because they aren't old enough to drink...