I think Tennis *might* just make it on television!

[noahz]

Last night I had the pleasure of attending some opening-round tennis matches at the US Open. I think this upstart sport may very well be approaching the day where it will be broadcast regularly on television(!). Here are some of my thoughts on how the USTA could make this happen:

• An Improved Scoring System - "Love," 15, 30, 40, Deuce, whaaa? Who came up with this bizarre progression? Unless there's a tie, in which case the scoring switches to simple counting numbers. Confusing. Why not just score using the numbers 0-4 from the get-go?
  
• Match Length A single match takes on average two hours(!). Today's television audiences just do not have the attention span for these marathon encounters. They would do well to cut the match format from best of 5 sets(!) to best of 5 games - increasing the match-to-hour ratio and allowing the audience to see a wider variety of players.
  
• Consistency I grasped the notion that the ball needed to land within the boundaries of certain white lines painted on the court (although the some areas inside the lines - along the sides - were still considered "out" without being clearly marked as such. Huh?) However, I was horrified to discover that in the 21st century we are still relying on human judges(!) to determine if the ball was "in" or "out." As a result, these judges frequently confounded or suprised the audience (myself included) with calls that appeared to run opposite of reality! I should note that the net did have an electronic sensor - to indicate when it had been touched during a serve. However, this innovation actually slowed down play by forcing "Lets" (re-serves) for no perceivable reason.
  
• Down with the "Ace" I noticed that many of the players seemed to focus their energies on delivering an "un-returnable" serve, to the detriment of other aspects of their game. This is entirely contrary to the original spirit of the sport as it existed during the 1920s, and should be done away with completely - if tennis is ever going to appeal to television audiences. I propse that "overhand" serves be banned, and only "underhand" serves (preceded by a noble bounce on the court!) be allowed.
  
• Information Shortcommings I noted that the players had nothing on their person to indicate their identity - no name, number, armband or anything else - as is common in other sports. In addition, the referee ("umpire") was hidden under a canvased chair, such that even if they did make any gestures to indicate awarded points (they didn't), it wouldn't be visible to the players. I seems that most of the time the audience had no idea who had been awarded a point or for what reason except in the most obvious of circumstances (or until the scoreboard was updated!).

In short, I think that Tennis has a lot of problems right now, but with a few tweaks it could quickly become suitable for television! Best of luck to this enterprising sport and its practitioners!

[Inquartata]

I'll bet you work for NBC.

[Gav]

Is noahz the fencing equivalent of Roach?

[D+F+P=Hadouken!]

ROFLMFAO...... yeah, tennis is SO comprehensible to the untrained veiwer

[Mr Epee]

Where's Andy's Mojo...

This is the funniest thing since the Dan vs. Dave commercials.

[Black Jeebus]

It's all about the colorful non-uniform uniforms!!!

[Tomas N]

That is one funny post!

Tomas

[Fencing Mom]

Noah,
You forgot to mention the grunts - not just the men, but also the women! No TV audience wants to listen to that. And the unsportsman-like conduct. . . One athlete, in particular, Nadal from Spain, actually pumps his fist in celebration when he scores a point. Surely that display of emotion is not in the spirit of truth that is the true essence of tennis.

[Zasha]

grunting women in small skirts? they won't care about match length.

[RebelFencer]

And what's with the server being the only one able to score? This isn't driving, there shouldn't be some sort of "right of way" system in place. That just confuses people.

[Agent_V]

And what's with the server being the only one able to score? This isn't driving, there shouldn't be some sort of "right of way" system in place. That just confuses people.

umm, badminton maybe? not tennis...

[KShan5[PrFC]]

[*] Down with the "Ace" I noticed that many of the players seemed to focus their energies on delivering an "un-returnable" serve, to the detriment of other aspects of their game. This is entirely contrary to the original spirit of the sport as it existed during the 1920s, and should be done away with completely - if tennis is ever going to appeal to television audiences. I propse that "overhand" serves be banned, and only "underhand" serves (preceded by a noble bounce on the court!) be allowed.

Are you ****ing insane?????

[mrbiggs]

Are you ****ing insane?????

I think he was joking.

[KShan5[PrFC]]

if that is true i recind my comment and bow my head in shame

[DJ Apostrophe]

if that is true i recind my comment and bow my head in shame

... so what else is new?...

[KShan5[PrFC]]

It's not accompanied by club ridicule....well not yet at least.

[Pauli]

this is a very neutral view on the noble sport of tennis......I think you should suggest your changes to the nfote......

[Westley]

Last night I had the pleasure of attending some opening-round tennis matches at the US Open. I think this upstart sport may very well be approaching the day where it will be broadcast regularly on television(!). Here are some of my thoughts on how the USTA could make this happen:

• An Improved Scoring System - "Love," 15, 30, 40, Deuce, whaaa? Who came up with this bizarre progression? Unless there's a tie, in which case the scoring switches to simple counting numbers. Confusing. Why not just score using the numbers 0-4 from the get-go?
  
• Match Length A single match takes on average two hours(!). Today's television audiences just do not have the attention span for these marathon encounters. They would do well to cut the match format from best of 5 sets(!) to best of 5 games - increasing the match-to-hour ratio and allowing the audience to see a wider variety of players.
  
• Consistency I grasped the notion that the ball needed to land within the boundaries of certain white lines painted on the court (although the some areas inside the lines - along the sides - were still considered "out" without being clearly marked as such. Huh?) However, I was horrified to discover that in the 21st century we are still relying on human judges(!) to determine if the ball was "in" or "out." As a result, these judges frequently confounded or suprised the audience (myself included) with calls that appeared to run opposite of reality! I should note that the net did have an electronic sensor - to indicate when it had been touched during a serve. However, this innovation actually slowed down play by forcing "Lets" (re-serves) for no perceivable reason.
  
• Down with the "Ace" I noticed that many of the players seemed to focus their energies on delivering an "un-returnable" serve, to the detriment of other aspects of their game. This is entirely contrary to the original spirit of the sport as it existed during the 1920s, and should be done away with completely - if tennis is ever going to appeal to television audiences. I propse that "overhand" serves be banned, and only "underhand" serves (preceded by a noble bounce on the court!) be allowed.
  
• Information Shortcommings I noted that the players had nothing on their person to indicate their identity - no name, number, armband or anything else - as is common in other sports. In addition, the referee ("umpire") was hidden under a canvased chair, such that even if they did make any gestures to indicate awarded points (they didn't), it wouldn't be visible to the players. I seems that most of the time the audience had no idea who had been awarded a point or for what reason except in the most obvious of circumstances (or until the scoreboard was updated!).

In short, I think that Tennis has a lot of problems right now, but with a few tweaks it could quickly become suitable for television! Best of luck to this enterprising sport and its practitioners!

You, my dear sir, are a moron. All the big college tennis players come to my old hometown to have a big tournament- Andre, Pete, basically everyone in the U.S. who plays professionally play there.I used to go down to the courts just to pick up chicks. Something about Tennis, man, just gives them such a bod....

[noahz]

You, my dear sir, are a moron. All the big college tennis players come to my old hometown to have a big tournament- Andre, Pete, basically everyone in the U.S. who plays professionally play there.I used to go down to the courts just to pick up chicks. Something about Tennis, man, just gives them such a bod....

Learning new words is fun.

[Craig]

This is so good that I had to make it a feature item...Found it only now b/c I generally don't look in the H2O section for stuff...

Thanks Noah - That's a classic post.