The Soapbox

[Gav]

Bored? Irritable? Needing to vent? I've just thought of this new game after reading this:

I recall with delight the period in the 50's when I lived in the UK, and every Sunday morning I would arise early to visit Speakers Corner in Hyde Park. I would see the speakers assembling and vying for advantageous positions from which they could address the crowds on subjects from how Guy Fawkes got such a bad deal from the government, to the latest refutation of the Theory of Relativity, perched atop foldable chairs or more substantial platforms. I've been back to London many times since then, but I've somehow allowed my schedule to interfere with another visit to that wonderful site, where all and sundry — under the casual and benign observation and protection of strolling bobbies — could and would expound on a wide and wonderful range of topics.

Here's the rules to this new game; which I hope will be more informative and interesting than word association:

1. Expound on anything you like.
2. Observe the nornal forum rules on decency i.e. no personal attacks, racism or other bigotry.
3. Whatever your statement is - it must be your own words - no plagiarism. If someone complains you've ripped off another site your post will be deleted.
4. No replies to topics in this thread - they will be summarily deleted - if you want to talk about something posted here spin off a thread.

Now that I've built the soapbox I relinquish it to those who have something they wish to get off their chest...

[Inquartata]

My rant:



All moderators should be run outta town on a rail! They are always trying to force the round peg of querulousness into the square hole of Rules. Delete this, ban that, this is offensive....bah! Who died and elected them god, anyway? Especially the Scottish ones, they're the worst!

Let's see how long this survives.

[scrapinpeg]

I can't stand it when people get to the end of an escalator, or through a doorway, or otherwise pass from one place to another -- and then immediately stop to get their bearings and look around, thereby blocking everyone behind them. Often it's elderly ladies, but all sorts do it plenty.

It's clear that they had only thought ahead up to getting to this point, and now need to sort out what happens next. No problem with that, fair enough. But for crying out loud, people, step to one side while you get your head together!

Next time someone steps off the subway and stops right there on the platform blocking the rest of us, I promise to shove that person out of the way. Even if it's a tiny little old granny.

Umm, on second thought, no. I've seen the damage a tiny little old lady can inflict. I'll save my shoving for safer targets, such as pro wrestlers.

[D+F+P=Hadouken!]

I hate it when women say "Be careful", it really doesnt make you feel any better about your strength and invincibility. For a matter of fact, I think it makes us more reckless so we can affirm our invincibility. Like if I'm using a saw and my mom or girlfriend says "be careful" I immediately feel the feel the urge to put my fingers right next to the saw, just once sneeze away from the emergency room. Why? Cause they had to say "be careful". I also find it an insult of my intelligence. If I'm climbing a tree and they say "be careful" its like "well duh'' I'm 20 feet above the dirt, of damn course I'm gonna be careful, unless you tell me toooooooo. You never hear another guy say "be careful", in fact, I believe this is the ultimate test to know if a man is gay or not. If you climb a tree and he says "be careful" you immediately know which team he's on.

[counter riposte]

OK escalators

STAND ON THE RIGHT!

this is such that those who are in a rush and need to walk can actually get past you. Those of you that live in the DC area understand this with any metro station. Why do people insist on just standing there on the left blocking any forward progression of those who want to move forward.

STAND TO THE RIGHT!

[Zilverzmurfen]

OK escalators

STAND ON THE RIGHT!

Links gehen -- Rechts stehen.
Easy as that.

And while we're on the subject (escalators): why is it that the 'reel' of the escalator always seems to be moving juuust a little slower than the actual escalator?


Ok, just one more:
Who's the moron who designed the cap for my olive oil flask?

Has anyone ever managed to not get the cap of an oil flask 'oily'? Bleeding w*****s, it should of course be designed as a wingnut, so that you can always get a proper grip on it. Am I the only one who understands this? *grrr*


Whew, it felt good to get that out. I'd better go and lay down for a bit now!

[D+F+P=Hadouken!]

Links gehen -- Rechts stehen.


Ok, just one more:
Who's the moron who designed the cap for my olive oil flask?

Has anyone ever managed to not get the cap of an oil flask 'oily'? Bleeding w*****s, it should of course be designed as a wingnut, so that you can always get a proper grip on it. Am I the only one who understands this? *grrr*


Whew, it felt good to get that out. I'd better go and lay down for a bit now!

oooooh.... been gettin naughty with the olive oil, have we now?

[mrbiggs]

OK, casheir rant.

I see people, at least one a day, that come in simply to buy one piece of meat. I have to problem with that. What I don't understand is the people who seem to be surprised when I ring it up. It has a sticker, right on it, that says the price in big numbers. Let's say $9.41. Many of these customers wait in line for 2 or 3 minutes before paying, doing nothing but looking at the meat in their hands. Why do cashiers have conversations like this?

Me: "$9.41"
Customer: "What? Oh. What's the price again?"
Me: "$9.41"
Customer: "Oh, okay." *Digs around in purse* *Finds a 20* *Keeps digging* *Finds a 10* "Hmmm...let's see if I have exact change." *digs around in purse and finds $.17.* *Keeps digging even though he or she clearly does not have $.41* "Oh, okay, I guess not."

I mean, I don't care all that much, I'm paid by the hour. But I just don't understand why people waste so much of their time.

(And ZZ, you're right about the olive oil! I have to wash my hands every time someone buys some!)

[Zilverzmurfen]

oooooh.... been gettin naughty with the olive oil, have we now?

Err...I admit my cooking is not the best in the world but I wouldn't call it 'naughty'...


(That was what you were referring to, wasn't it..? )

[Have At You]

keeping with the theme of clueless people slowing us down, i propose we ban:

1) people in the checkout line who wait until all their purchases have been rung up before they start digging through their purse for the checkbook, or worse yet, for exact change. you know you're going to be spending some money, have it ready! punishment should be being sent to the back of the line to give them time to get their act together.

2) healthy people who get on the elevator to go only one or two floors. punishment should be 20 pushups for going 2 floors, 50 pushups for going 1.

3) people who stand in a circle to talk to each other, blocking the hallway/sidewalk/etc. people who block traffic like this are beyond rude, and their punishment should be to give people who need to get by immunity for any injuries they inflict in pushing their way through.

4) people who walk three or more abreast on a narrow sidewalk. punishment should vary depending on the situation, but should be increased if they are wide people, and increased even more if they are moving slowly.

[needle]

5) People who take the left lane on the freeway and drive side -to-side with a car to the right of them without overtaking, giving way or letting others overtake them from the right. And you are just stuck there behind them. Nothing like driving on two-lane road with with two cars taking both lanes in fron of you and no one in front of them for miles... My punishment for people like that - when I do overtake them eventually, get in front of them and start slowing down; when they finally get a clue that they are about to stop and do change lane, pedal to the floor and into the horizon I go. Trouble is, most of the time this happens I'm really in a hurry, so they go unpunished, if you don't count the bad karma they undoubtedly acquire.

6) People who drive v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y on one lane roads and refuse to pull out to the side to let you pass (you and oh about 20 other cars they are holding back). I'm not prone to road rage, but if it ever happened, these people would be the most likely victims.

[the doc]

7. people who use a mobile phone while driving. their phone should be placed in a sock and then they are repeatedly beaten with it until they say they won't do it again.

[Larrison]

Crimmy! let's expand on the cell phone bit..

8. People using Cell phones to carry on loud private conversations in public places. I recently was inflicted upon to suffer through a long, loud private conversation in the airport by the guy waiting for his flight in the row of seats behind me. Or the person who carries on a loud conversation on their phone while walking through the grocery store. Or the all time favorite -- the one who does the real time review of a movie to their friend while watching the movie in the the public theater (ggrrRRRRHHH!!!)

9. People performing other tasks in their cars, in traffic or in motion, other than driving and paying attention to the road. Besides those carrying on animated cell phone conversations, I'd add

- women putting on their makeup and using the rear view mirrors as makeup mirrors while driving

- people eating large meals while driving. My favorite was the guy with the large cereal bowl holding it against the steering wheel while shoveling corn flakes into his mouth while driving.

- people with headphones listening to music while driving.

- people reading the newspaper or a book while driving (!!!!)

10. Those hearing-impaired folks who insist on sharing their music with the rest of us -- at full volume. This includes at the beach (and no, I've never considered a 30 lb "boom box" as required beach equipment). And in traffic (I mean, if I can hear it in my car, over my radio, with my windows closed -- how loud is it in their car???). And my recent favorite -- while flying. I recently did a 5 hour flight listening to a couple 2 rows ahead playing "Barney's Christmas" and "Muppet Treasure Island" on a portable DVD player, without using headphones for their child. It's one thing to be generally aware there's a music/ video player going -- it's another thing to be able to clearly hear every word, every expression, of the on-going cheesy musical numbers from several rows away .....

[Mr Epee]

I Hate Hehateme

Idiot!

[Schiavona]

I Hate Hehateme

Idiot!

What?

[needle]

8. People using Cell phones to carry on loud private conversations in public places. I recently was inflicted upon to suffer through a long, loud private conversation in the airport by the guy waiting for his flight in the row of seats behind me. Or the person who carries on a loud conversation on their phone while walking through the grocery store. Or the all time favorite -- the one who does the real time review of a movie to their friend while watching the movie in the the public theater (ggrrRRRRHHH!!!)

http://www.coudal.com/shhhcards.pdf - print them, hand them out to those annoying cell phone users.

[telkanuru]

I am generally against people, as they tend to suck a lot.

[Schiavona]

I'm really, really, really fed up with people who don't use their turn signals while changing lanes in traffic, but use their turn signals IN A TURN ONLY LANE! I just want to slap them silly. I don't, because I know I'd never stop.

[fencergal33]

Ok....I've been thinking about this all day and I finally realized what my tirade is.

Public Restrooms.

I work in a large office building with a restroom at the end of the hall on every floor. Several things annoy the heck out of me in there.

1) People don't flush......'nuff said.

2) People who "sprinkle." You know who you are, and there is no excuse. The restroom at my office always has a plentiful supply of seat covers, paper towels, and toilet paper, so there is absolutely no need to hover! If you absolutely MUST hover, wipe your pee off the seat people!!!!

3) I hate it when I'm in one of the stalls doing my business, and I hear someone flush in another stall and walk out the door without washing there hands!!!!! Ewwwww!!! God knows what I have to touch after them.

4) There is one lady who is such a germophobe that she has to rip off the first little bit of toilet paper and throw it on the floor before she rips off another square to use! On the floor?!?!?! Why can't she flush that bit down, or throw it in the trash?

5) For those who insist on opening the door with a paper towel.....take it with you and throw it away!!!! DO NOT drop it on the floor right inside the door for the rest of us to have to step over on our way in. UGH!!!!

I feel better.

[Fencergrl]

6) People who flush with their feet.... ewwww If you are germaphobic use a piece of toliet paper or something! Yuck yuck... I hate public washrooms because of all the idiots out there.