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Senior Member
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Only in Florida... PANAMA CITY, Fla. -- A man who got angry with his wife because she wanted to cuddle after sex when what he really wanted to do was watch sports on television was sentenced to death for killing her with a claw hammer. Christopher Offord, 30, was sentenced Wednesday by Circuit Judge Dedee Costello, who said the brutality of the crime outweighed any mental problems Offord may have had. The defendant struck his wife approximately 70 individual blows after spending a happy interlude with her," the judge said. "Her desire to cuddle after sex does not justify the extremely violent, brutal response of the defendant." Offord pleaded guilty to first-degree murder in the 2004 slaying of Dana Noser, 40, at his apartment.
He confessed to a bartender at a sports bar before his arrest. He told investigators that his wife had been nagging him to come back to bed.
Offord did not speak in court but said in a jailhouse interview in June: "I figured I killed her so I deserve to die." RebelFencer's Awesome Quote of the Week:
"Encouraging the average age of first intercourse to go below 16?"
-Army Fencer
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Senior Member
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Yeah, read the Sun-Sentinal every day and these are the stories you'll find. How much further can you go? Beat it...Jab it...Stab it...FENCE IT!!!
***little t***Fiskebäckskil!***
Take me 2 YVR!
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Posting Hound
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I'm not sure I am in favour of the Death Penalty, but incidents like this makes me hope they have it in his state...
What's the matter with people, sports on television is more important than the life of another human being?! Sick bastard.
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Give him to the mob, the polis. Sorry, but you can't believe anything I say. I always lie. In fact, I'm lying now.
"Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name,..."
Oh, yes, BTW..."non iligitimi carborundum", look what happened to me.
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I dunno... I'm not much of a cuddler, myself... and if it were fencing on TV...?
But no, that's just sick. I would never condone that kind of behavior. And just what's he doing with a hammer in bed, anyway? 
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 Originally Posted by swordwench I dunno... I'm not much of a cuddler, myself... and if it were fencing on TV...?
But no, that's just sick. I would never condone that kind of behavior. And just what's he doing with a hammer in bed, anyway? yeah, you're about as cuddly as a thorn-bush.
Seriously, that dude is messed up. Whats the moral of the story? Dont ever ask anyone to cuddle if they dont want to. "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. And from this side only! The flight of a half-man, half-bird. Dinosaurs nuzzling their young in pastures where strip malls should be. Cookies on dowels. All those moment, lost in time. Gone, like eggs off a hooker's stomach. Time to die" -Phil Ken Sebben
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Originally Posted by D+F+P=Hadouken! Seriously, that dude is messed up. Whats the moral of the story? Dont ever ask anyone to cuddle if they dont want to. I think there are more morals to the story:- Do not make love to a person you do not want to cuddle with.
- Do not watch too much sport on telly. (The man was obviously addicted in some sick way.
 ) - Do not keep a hammer nearby if you know you have not powers enough to control your temper.
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....
Stop! Hammer time!
...
It had to be said. RebelFencer's Awesome Quote of the Week:
"Encouraging the average age of first intercourse to go below 16?"
-Army Fencer
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I think the moral of the story is:
Don't marry the kind of person who would kill you with a hammer because you're bothering him while he's trying to watch sports.
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I think the bottom moral is to not take a man away from his sports. "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. And from this side only! The flight of a half-man, half-bird. Dinosaurs nuzzling their young in pastures where strip malls should be. Cookies on dowels. All those moment, lost in time. Gone, like eggs off a hooker's stomach. Time to die" -Phil Ken Sebben
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Senior Member
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This is why it's wise to have a television in the bedroom. RebelFencer's Awesome Quote of the Week:
"Encouraging the average age of first intercourse to go below 16?"
-Army Fencer
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Senior Member
Array
Originally Posted by D+F+P=Hadouken! yeah, you're about as cuddly as a thorn-bush. Why, gee, thanks, DFP. Did I make a personal attack on you? No. (Unless you count that f.net film I made... but that was all in good fun.) And you're right, maybe I'm about as cuddly as a thorn-bush. But maybe it's from hanging around so many prick(ly people) here so long?
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Uh-oh, it's on now. DFP must defend his manliness...with a claw hammer! RebelFencer's Awesome Quote of the Week:
"Encouraging the average age of first intercourse to go below 16?"
-Army Fencer
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Senior Member
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Originally Posted by swordwench Why, gee, thanks, DFP. Did I make a personal attack on you? No. (Unless you count that f.net film I made... but that was all in good fun.) And you're right, maybe I'm about as cuddly as a thorn-bush. But maybe it's from hanging around so many prick(ly people) here so long? oh dont be so sensitive....(crazy northerners)  "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. And from this side only! The flight of a half-man, half-bird. Dinosaurs nuzzling their young in pastures where strip malls should be. Cookies on dowels. All those moment, lost in time. Gone, like eggs off a hooker's stomach. Time to die" -Phil Ken Sebben
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Senior Member
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Originally Posted by D+F+P=Hadouken! oh dont be so sensitive....(crazy northerners) (Wonders to self why we didn't let y'all secede from the Union when you wanted to...) Unfortunately, most of us yanks are rather type-A. 'Tis true, 'tis pity, 'tis pity 'tis true. Now, everybody sing it with me!
If I had a hammer, I'd hammer in the morning
I'd hammer in the evening, all over this land...
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www.fark.com is a news site that posts articles with submitter's headlines. they have tags for the news like Obvious, Asinine, Amusing, and one of the more interesting ones is Florida. So if you like hearing about crazy floridians check it out theres usually a few good stories a week. Epee Fencers do it to the hilt!
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Senior Member
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The rest of Florida should give the Panhandle to Alabama and improve both states.  If you see my little red rooster, please drag him home
If you see my little red rooster, please drag him home
There ain't no peace in the barnyard,
Since the little red rooster been gone
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Senior Member
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Originally Posted by EpeeConvert www.fark.com is a news site that posts articles with submitter's headlines. they have tags for the news like Obvious, Asinine, Amusing, and one of the more interesting ones is Florida. So if you like hearing about crazy floridians check it out theres usually a few good stories a week. Yaeh, I got this from www.somethingawful.com . Great webpage as well. RebelFencer's Awesome Quote of the Week:
"Encouraging the average age of first intercourse to go below 16?"
-Army Fencer
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