Combat to the Death

[Army Fencer]

New game!

Here, we decide who would win in combat to the death if two people, species, or things were to fight each other. They can be classics like "Coyboys vs. Indians" or something off the wall like "Willie Wonka vs. Bill Gates." You don't have to give a setting unless you want to. After you've answered who would win and why, give a new set to the next person.

First battle:

Astronauts vs. Cavemen

[Orangeaholic]

Cavemen without a doubt. They could take their clubs and smash through the astronauts helmet in a snap, and then it'd be all over...


~Orange

[cornflower]

Ghandi vs. Tyson

[ThatReallyHurt]

Ghandi - he had throngs of followers - Tyson would keep punching them out one by one until he got tired and fell over - Ghandi wins.

Spiderman vs. those aliens from the, er... "Alien" movies.

[glowstix]

spiderman would win 'cause he's cool..its that simple..

incredible hulk vs that superstrong fantastic four character, whatever he's called.

[Orangeaholic]

Paper vs. Plastic?

~Orange

[ThatReallyHurt]

The Hulk - the madder he gets, the stronger he gets. I don't think that other guy does that. Hulk would get madder and madder until <pop> off came the other guy's arms.

The wolf from Red Riding Hood vs. White Fang.

[ThatReallyHurt]

Paper vs. Plastic?

~Orange

Plastic - you can make so many things out of it.

See above.

[prototoast]

incredible hulk vs that superstrong fantastic four character, whatever he's called.

Go out there and read the comics--they've done it. Well, not quite a fight to the death, but they have battled.

[ThatReallyHurt]

Go out there and read the comics--they've done it. Well, not quite a fight to the death, but they have battled.

Yeah, but that's just the comics - we're trying to figure out what would happen in real life...

[Have At You]

The Hulk - the madder he gets, the stronger he gets. I don't think that other guy does that. Hulk would get madder and madder until <pop> off came the other guy's arms.

The wolf from Red Riding Hood vs. White Fang.

The wolf from Red Riding Hood. He was mean, ruthless, and not above eating people who got in between him and his target. Plus, a great symbol for men and a girl's impending loss of virginity in an earlier world.

White Fang, on the other hand, was just yet another sissy over-romanticized Jack London character when you get right down to it.


Inq vs. Maeve

[ThatReallyHurt]

Maeve. Inq's got the early lead in this one, throwing strange archaic words and truncated strings of Latin, confusing Maeve... but after a few moments of backpedaling she manages to shrug off the verbal assault and hit Inq with a heavy, blunt object.

Robin Hood vs. Green Arrow

[scrapinpeg]

Robin Hood. He's the real deal.

Green Arrow is a cheesy ripoff who has to resort to trick arrows and gadgets, and whose primary traits are stolen outright from Robin Hood and from Batman.

No contest.



How about "Bad Bad" Leroy Brown vs. "Don't Mess Around With" Jim?

[BrianH]

Leroy Brown...he's one tough dude, though he ended up looking like a jigsaw puzzle with a couple pieces gone.








An easy one: Willie Nelson vs. Keith Richards

[Epee_Pox]

Willy will just take a slow toke and relax in his chair. Keith will lunge for the bar and crease his scalp on a stool on the way down. Victory to Willy.

inevitable Man in Black / Dread Pirate Roberts / Westley

vs.

inevitable Zorro

[Epee_Pox]

Leroy Brown...he's one tough dude, though he ended up looking like a jigsaw puzzle with a couple pieces gone.

I dunno, they both got whupped pretty bad in the end. To a Chicago-blues backbeat, as I recall.

[Araznal]

Westly, because he can still kick *** even when he's been half-dead. Plus, with Andre the Giant and Inigo Montoya, Zorro does not stand a chance. Zorro just embarrasses incompetant swordsmen and has no real combat skills.

Alright, nerdy Marvel reference here:

Thanos vs. Galactus

[AndrastVitesse]

Hillary Duff vs. Lindsay Lohan

(frankly, It would be nice to see them both gone)

[Moses]

With Hillary Duff's Nauseating Voice of Super Ultimate Evil and Lindsay Lohan's newly pseudo-anorexic frame, I'd give the fight to the perky, allegedly natural blonde from Texas.

Jared the Subway guy vs. girly smurf. No, not the one native to these boards .

-Da Mose

[Soldier]

The smurf. She looks like she means business, whereas Jared the Subway Guy (though he does have a title, which is bonus points) just knows how to lose weight.

Librarian vs. Math Teacher