Here is the text of my 2002 April Fool's joke. Read and see how truth can be stranger than fiction.
Originally Posted by Craig's 2002 April Fools Joke
Hot news from the World Jr. and Cadet Champs. The FIE Congress met right before the event and voted the following rules changes in for the 2003 World Cup Season. As a result, all national governing bodies will have to adopt these changes in order to participate in the 2003 FIE World Cup Circuit.
An ad hoc commission composed of: Arthur Cramer (President), Marcello Baiocco, Ralf Bissdorf, Mihai Covaliu, Stephen Hawking, Steve Higginson, Emmanuel Katsiadakis, Tamas Kovacs, Grzegorek Krzysztof, Gilbert Lefin, Andrea
Magro, Dean Smith, David Tyshler and Edoardo Mangiarotti as member of honour. Tested all of the proposed rules changes and provided recommendations to the congress. The congress voted in favor of all recommendations.
The new rules to be implemented are:
1.Distance between the two competitors when taking one's guard. That the referee places each of the two competitors in sucha way that their
rear foot touches the on guard lines.
2. Foil
- Reversing the shoulders will no-longer be illegal. In order to reverse shoulders, the non-weapon arm must be held in parallel with the trunk of the body to avoid covering valid target.
- There will be no off-target in foil. To accomodate this (and to satisfy the French delegation) the weapon arm from elbow to shoulder will also be target area. There are no changes to the target area on the rear arm.
- The counter-attack will be valid only in 'one-light' situations. When both lights are on, the
attack will be valid.
3. Sabre:
- The counter-attack will be valid only in 'one-light' situations. When both lights are on, the
attack will be valid.
- In order to promote lengthier exchanges, touches to the mask will be judged to be worth 2 points and all other areas worth 1 point.
4. All weapons:
- In addition to the match clock, a separate clock will be used to determine passivity. Termed the 'shot clock' the referee will issue a warning to any fencer that has not attepmted an offensive action in any 45 second period. In order to be considered an offensive action, there must either be a meeting of the blade with opposing bell-guard or one of the lights must go off. If both fencers are warned, then an alternating warning system will be used.
Additional meetings will be held during the week with equipment manufacterers to determine the necessary programming that will need to be sent out to upgrade current FIE machines.
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