06-30-2005, 11:04 PM
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#1 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,326
| The INQUARTATA thread!!!
Who is he? What does he want? Why is he hiding under your bed with a cheese-grater and a box of Q-tips?
Yeah, baby, pay homage to your favorite non-epeeist and mine -- the alien sent to our world to save us -- the Man With A Plan -- bow before the mighty might that is INNNNNNNNQUARTATATATATA!!!!
Inqie-poo will now accept your queries and praise. Please, don't crowd. One at a time...
((Every 17th poster wins an autographed hug from Big I himself)) | 
|  | | And now for this message... |
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06-30-2005, 11:36 PM
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#2 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: MA
Posts: 7,459
| What are you talking about? | |
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07-01-2005, 12:13 AM
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#3 | | Din Älskling
Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Somewhere inside your head. Or am I?
Posts: 4,196
| Inquartata? Who is that? I thought it was a fencing move used only in desperate situations...
__________________
"Since when does being a patriot in America mean shutting your mouth?"
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zz,zz,zz,zz,zz,zz! | |
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07-01-2005, 12:27 AM
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#4 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: NYC/Brandeis
Posts: 1,118
| You know, there's not that much to be mystified about Sciurus. He's a good sabre fencer from... I think Arizona? He also has over 10,000 posts. So... why are you being all weird here? He's just a guy. It's not like he's 7' tall and he can shoot lightning bolts from his ***.
__________________ "What, really? I thought that song was just about a dragon who lived by the sea and frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee."
"Dan, you're such a dumb*ss"
Read it, be happy: Funny | |
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07-01-2005, 12:28 AM
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#5 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 4,817
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by Araznal It's not like he's 7' tall and he can shoot lightning bolts from his ***. | Thank you, Mr. Gibson.
Moving on, I believe in my expert medical opinion to be a case of PUI (Posting Under the Influence)  | |
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07-01-2005, 12:44 AM
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#6 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,326
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by Araznal You know, there's not that much to be mystified about, Sciurus. He's a good sabre fencer from... I think Arizona? He also has over 10,000 posts. So... why are you being all weird here? He's just a guy ... | "Just a guy?!" JUST A GUY???
A 10K-post sabre expert from ... I think Arizona ... and you insult him by suggesting he's just a --
Nevermind. You are obviously a lost soul. (sigh) I am so gonna pray for you. | |
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07-01-2005, 01:03 AM
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#7 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: MA
Posts: 7,459
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by Sciurus-Rex "Just a guy?!" JUST A GUY???
A 10K-post sabre expert from ... I think Arizona ... and you insult him by suggesting he's just a --
Nevermind. You are obviously a lost soul. (sigh) I am so gonna pray for you. | Alot of people have somehow discovered who he is. (I'm not one of them.) But he prefers to be anonymous, and he's a nice guy, so no one posts his name out of respect.
Not to say that there haven't been hints. | |
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07-01-2005, 01:51 AM
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#8 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,464
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by esskreemr Inquartata? Who is that? I thought it was a fencing move used only in desperate situations... | Perhaps Inquartata is a desperate man used only in fencing situations? Yea... that's it.  | |
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07-01-2005, 02:05 AM
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#9 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Florida
Posts: 431
| Inquartata- International Fencing Man of Mystery
These are a few of the things that make him a good person (could be great person if switched to Epee).
He's fun, interesting, well informed and..... He could be sitting next to you right now! 
__________________
The Epeeman, the Epeeman, in frayed and tattered gear
Can lick his weight in wildcats and can drink his weight in beer
And for the foil and sabreman he hasn't any fear
For he's a late edition of the dashing Musketeer.
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07-01-2005, 02:56 AM
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#10 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: DC & Vancouver
Posts: 2,068
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by broncofencer He could be sitting next to you right now! | Right now my dog is sitting next to me. I don't think it's him, unless Inquartata *really* is a 110 lb, black German Shepherd.
__________________
My loverboy asked (in American Sign Language) what I was looking at on the computer:
Me: A fencing forum.
LB: A fisting forum?!
Me: God, NO! FENCING!
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07-01-2005, 03:11 AM
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#11 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Florida
Posts: 431
| He could be Noone knows what he looks like.
__________________
The Epeeman, the Epeeman, in frayed and tattered gear
Can lick his weight in wildcats and can drink his weight in beer
And for the foil and sabreman he hasn't any fear
For he's a late edition of the dashing Musketeer.
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07-01-2005, 03:12 AM
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#12 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: DC & Vancouver
Posts: 2,068
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by broncofencer He could be Noone knows what he looks like. | In that case... Inquartata sure farts a lot.
__________________
My loverboy asked (in American Sign Language) what I was looking at on the computer:
Me: A fencing forum.
LB: A fisting forum?!
Me: God, NO! FENCING!
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07-01-2005, 08:52 AM
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#13 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,326
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by mrbiggs Alot of people have somehow discovered who he is. (I'm not one of them.) But he prefers to be anonymous, and he's a nice guy, so no one posts his name out of respect. | Oh. My bad.
I didn't really mean I cared to discover his secret identity. Heck, I don't want people to start calling me by my first name, either ( "Hey, Wendell, you SUCK!"). I meant in a more general sense, Who Is He? What's He All About? Why Doesn't He Fence Epee? | |
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07-01-2005, 08:54 AM
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#14 | | Épéeist Hive Queen
Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Sweden
Posts: 12,754
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by Sciurus-Rex What does he want? | He just wants to be loved, like the rest of us!
__________________
Fencing is my only PvP. | |
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07-01-2005, 10:31 AM
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#15 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,326
| Has anyone collected "The Best of Inquartata Comments" yet? With 10,000+ postings, there's a book deal in there somewhere.
Inq's fans what to know all about him. Like what his favorite ice cream flavor is, which political party he supports, the name of his favorite African herd animal, and which childhood diseases he regrets not catching sooner in his life. ... That sort of stuff.
Let's start with something simple: How often does Inquartata fence epee, and what does he like best about it? | |
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07-01-2005, 11:35 AM
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#16 | | Din Älskling
Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Somewhere inside your head. Or am I?
Posts: 4,196
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by Sciurus-Rex Has anyone collected "The Best of Inquartata Comments" yet? With 10,000+ postings, there's a book deal in there somewhere. | Yes, you're absolutely correct. With 10,000 postings there's a pretty good chance statistically that at least one of his posts is worthy of collecting. Of course, it will be in Latin, so you will have to translate.
__________________
"Since when does being a patriot in America mean shutting your mouth?"
---
zz,zz,zz,zz,zz,zz! | |
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07-01-2005, 11:44 AM
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#17 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: ---->
Posts: 2,124
| Whereas each of MY posts is a gem to be treasured for all time.
I can't help it, I'm just amazing. Inq is merely prolific. 
__________________
Just because you have the right, that doesn't mean it is right.
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07-01-2005, 12:39 PM
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#18 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,326
| Legend yet to be confirmed:
As a toddler, Inquartata was left at home by himself one day while his clan hunted mammoth or bison or something with great hairy bulk to eat. A passing gang of epeeists, seeing an empty camp, took the opportunity to raid and pillage. "No right of way!" the libertarian leader cried, jabbing his flaming epee at the sky for emphasis. All was proceeding according to plan, until the diaper-clad child stepped out of his family hut and challenged the epee chief: "Gaaaah!" Inq cried (an expression that would later be adopted by saberists everywhere in his honor).
At this point, the traditional storytelling structure would involve a great battle and a lot of blood and family-inapproriate adjectives, ending with a glorious triumph that would delight us all. Something unusual. We are, after all, talking about a child facing insurmountable odds.
Sadly, Little Inq was, indeed, unable to surmount the odds. The epee chieftain and his merry band of epee thugs carried the kid away as a trophy, and he spent the next seven years of his life refurbishing old fencing shoes for slave-labor wages. At some point he probably escaped in a blaze of glory, but that legend has yet to be turned up.
At least this might help explain why our hero enjoys a love-hate relationship with the epeeists on the epeeists-only thread -- he feels a twisted kinship with his ancient tormentors that he can't dissolve.
Or so the theory goes... | |
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07-01-2005, 01:57 PM
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#19 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: South Carolina über Alles
Posts: 2,608
| Greatest story EVER!
__________________
RebelFencer's Awesome Quote of the Week:
"Encouraging the average age of first intercourse to go below 16?"
-Army Fencer
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07-01-2005, 02:34 PM
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#20 | | the dark one
Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: MA/NH line
Posts: 3,822
| Hello. My name is Swordwench, and I am a closet fan of Inq. I rep him even though I know I'll burn in hell for it. I fawn to myself over his posts. Thoughts of his wit haunt my dreams.
__________________
"Let's see... take responsibility for my own life, or blame YOU? Ding ding ding ding ding! Blame you wins hands-down!" - Bowler Hat Guy, Meet the Robinsons | |
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