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Thread: Women's Section

  1. #61
    Senior Member ThatReallyHurt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goofy
    Actually, there is one six-word phrase every male needs to know and use:

    'Yes, dear, what was I thinking.'
    John Wing said it perfectly... there are four words any man needs to know if he's to have a successful relationship:

    "Oh"
    "Yeah"
    "Right"
    "Sorry"

    Any combination of those words, or all four of them put together can get a guy out of almost any situation... check these out:

    "You forgot our anniversary again!"
    "Oh... right - sorry..."

    "When are you going to clean up all that sawdust you left on the kitchen table???"
    "Oh, yeah..."

    And so on...
    Pound for pound, the amoeba is the most vicious animal on earth.

  2. #62
    Senior Member Peach's Avatar
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    My husband does the vacuuming--I'm allergic to dust.
    “The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it's as though you always get in ten minutes after the big picture has started, and no-one will tell you the plot, so you have to work it out all yourself from the clues.”
    Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures

  3. #63
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    On my mom's last appointment for a mammogram, she kept saying how her appointment was a last-minute thing that they had to "squeeze her in" for. I have yet to determine whether she knows precisely what it was that she was saying.

    As for "disgusting" natural processes, do your worst! Some of us aren't so easily intimidated by the sight of the word "menstruation".
    Out Of The Ashes

  4. #64
    Senior Member Maeve_Mari's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peach
    My husband does the vacuuming--I'm allergic to dust.

    I am definitely going to pick up that ailment. Starting this week. Oh my, I seem to, <<sneeze>> be allergic to <<sneeze>> the dust. You are <<sneeze>> going to have to <<sneeze>> finish up this <sneeze>> vacuming for me <<sneeze sneeze sneeze>> !!!

  5. #65
    Senior Member ThatReallyHurt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maeve_Mari
    I am definitely going to pick up that ailment. Starting this week. Oh my, I seem to, <<sneeze>> be allergic to <<sneeze>> the dust. You are <<sneeze>> going to have to <<sneeze>> finish up this <sneeze>> vacuming for me <<sneeze sneeze sneeze>> !!!
    Careful - you may end up getting a HEPA vacuum filter for your birthday...
    Pound for pound, the amoeba is the most vicious animal on earth.

  6. #66
    Senior Member Goofy's Avatar
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    The Rules

    1) The female always makes the rules.
    2) The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
    3) No male can possibly know all the rules.
    4) If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all the rules.
    5) The female is never wrong.
    6) If the female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.
    7) If Rule 6 applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
    8) The female can change her mind at any given point in time for any reason.
    9) The male must never change his mind without express written consent from the female.
    10) The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
    11) The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
    12) The female must not, under any circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
    13) Any attempt by the male to document these rules could result in severe bodily harm.
    14) If the female has PMS, all rules are null and void
    But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

  7. #67
    Senior Member CheekyCanuck's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goofy
    The Rules
    ...
    Finally a man that understands!
    Winning isn't everything, it just lets you fence longer.

    Minute help entrusting which it knows it gives. -- Translated by Google from a Vietnamese post.

  8. #68
    Senior Member Peach's Avatar
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    Dern. I have never ascribed to those "rules" and I don't know that many women who do. I guess my problem with a "women's section" is that it tends to encourage the misconception that women (or men) all think alike.
    “The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it's as though you always get in ten minutes after the big picture has started, and no-one will tell you the plot, so you have to work it out all yourself from the clues.”
    Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures

  9. #69
    Posting Hound Fencergrl's Avatar
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    Yes... all women don't think alike, but we do have common issues that we can help each other with.
    Beer, it's whats for dinner! ~ a young snowboarding Canadian
    The meek don't want it! ~ sticker on a rock band's guitar

  10. #70
    Senior Member Goofy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fencergrl
    Yes... all women don't think alike, but we do have common issues that we can help each other with.
    Common issues? You mean the male of the species?
    But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

  11. #71
    Posting Hound Fencergrl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goofy
    Common issues? You mean the male of the species?
    Generally no.

    There are many things in our lives that do not involve men. Most of us have very few issues around men in our lives.

    Being a woman fencer isn't a whole lot different than being a male fencer, but there are certain issues that arise that are specific to our gender.
    Beer, it's whats for dinner! ~ a young snowboarding Canadian
    The meek don't want it! ~ sticker on a rock band's guitar

  12. #72
    Senior Member Pauli's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goofy
    Common issues? You mean the male of the species?
    You know, like make up, nail polish, best hairdresser, what kind of shoes to buy when......
    Beat it...Jab it...Stab it...FENCE IT!!!

    ***little t***Fiskebäckskil!***
    Take me 2 YVR!

  13. #73
    Senior Member Peach's Avatar
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    Speaking of things such as nail polish (which I don't wear), last night at the club everybody was looking at my new transparent mask and I realized that if the FIE wants to make fencing telegenic, now the female finaliists might have to prepare for the DE by putting on eye make-up. Jeepers. Shades of Tammy Faye Bakker. Do you suppose there will be a rush to get eyeliner tattooed on? Not that I would ever bother with make-up under such circumstances, but I know people who would.

    "I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille."
    “The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it's as though you always get in ten minutes after the big picture has started, and no-one will tell you the plot, so you have to work it out all yourself from the clues.”
    Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures

  14. #74
    Senior Member Pauli's Avatar
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    Oh my, honestly, I'd have a real problem if I had to wear these masks.
    What'd I do with all the pimples on my face.......aaaaaarrrrrrgh!!!!!!!
    Beat it...Jab it...Stab it...FENCE IT!!!

    ***little t***Fiskebäckskil!***
    Take me 2 YVR!

  15. #75
    Posting Hound Fencergrl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peach
    Speaking of things such as nail polish (which I don't wear), last night at the club everybody was looking at my new transparent mask and I realized that if the FIE wants to make fencing telegenic, now the female finaliists might have to prepare for the DE by putting on eye make-up. Jeepers. Shades of Tammy Faye Bakker. Do you suppose there will be a rush to get eyeliner tattooed on? Not that I would ever bother with make-up under such circumstances, but I know people who would.

    "I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille."
    The Tammy Faye Bakker look might work to your advantage in distracting your opponent.
    Beer, it's whats for dinner! ~ a young snowboarding Canadian
    The meek don't want it! ~ sticker on a rock band's guitar

  16. #76
    Senior Member Peach's Avatar
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    Or horrifying . . .

    "Medical assistance to strip 19, for uncontrollably weirded out fencer . . ."
    “The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it's as though you always get in ten minutes after the big picture has started, and no-one will tell you the plot, so you have to work it out all yourself from the clues.”
    Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures

  17. #77
    Posting Hound Fencergrl's Avatar
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    On a similar note... I'm looking at painting my regular wire mask... ideas anyone?
    Beer, it's whats for dinner! ~ a young snowboarding Canadian
    The meek don't want it! ~ sticker on a rock band's guitar

  18. #78
    Member cheesethief's Avatar
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    <a href="http://www.complang.tuwien.ac.at/~schani/mathmap/target.png">Yes?</a>
    In the time of chimpanzees
    I was a monkey

    Baldrick, does it have to be this way? Our valued friendship ending with me cutting you up into strips and telling the prince that you walked over a very sharp cattle grid in an extremely heavy hat?

  19. #79
    Senior Member Goofy's Avatar
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    Are you talking about repainting, or a design? And is your mask the standard black, or a special colour?
    But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

  20. #80
    Posting Hound Fencergrl's Avatar
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    A design.. perhaps a face, something to distract and psyche out my opponent. Something to make someone feel leery and uncomfortable. My sister is an established artist, I can get any design I want.
    Beer, it's whats for dinner! ~ a young snowboarding Canadian
    The meek don't want it! ~ sticker on a rock band's guitar

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