04-09-2005, 01:16 AM
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#1 | | No, your mom's a lemur
Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: None of your Damn buisiness! Or California.
Posts: 2,831
| Gothman
This is a script I wrote just last (friday?) Anyway, it wasn't more than a week ago. I realize it's not in proper script format. If it was it would be formatted more like:
1. Ext. Marwan's Bedroom
2. Int. Marwan's Butthole
and etc.
However, I just wanted to get it down and out. This is largely in response to the Gavin/gothic thread. Hope you likey. I don't know what else to write because it all just fit together so perfectly, I can't wedge any other pieces in. This is for all the vampire loving goths out there. If anyone steals this, I will find you and murder you by tying one end of your severed intestines to the highest nearby window and hanging you from it. And then filling your bloody insides with birdseed so crows come and eat you while you look at yourself screaming.
Happy reading! | 
|  | | And now for this message... |
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04-09-2005, 01:24 AM
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#2 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 279
| Hell Yeah!
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"Sometimes you want to give up the guitar, you'll hate the guitar. But if you stick with it, you're gonna be rewarded."
-Jimi Hendrix
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04-09-2005, 01:26 AM
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#3 | | No, your mom's a lemur
Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: None of your Damn buisiness! Or California.
Posts: 2,831
| That's it?  And odd that you could read that fast.....  | |
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04-09-2005, 01:28 AM
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#4 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 279
| Hell Yeah...sir?
__________________
"Sometimes you want to give up the guitar, you'll hate the guitar. But if you stick with it, you're gonna be rewarded."
-Jimi Hendrix
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04-09-2005, 01:29 AM
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#5 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 279
| Quote: |
And odd that you could read that fast.....
| I couldn't help it. It was as if I was hearing their accents in my head .
__________________
"Sometimes you want to give up the guitar, you'll hate the guitar. But if you stick with it, you're gonna be rewarded."
-Jimi Hendrix
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04-09-2005, 01:33 AM
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#6 | | No, your mom's a lemur
Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: None of your Damn buisiness! Or California.
Posts: 2,831
| As if somebody had... read them aloud to you? Over the.... phone? | |
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04-09-2005, 01:39 AM
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#7 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 279
| dude......freaky.
__________________
"Sometimes you want to give up the guitar, you'll hate the guitar. But if you stick with it, you're gonna be rewarded."
-Jimi Hendrix
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04-09-2005, 01:40 AM
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#8 | | No, your mom's a lemur
Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: None of your Damn buisiness! Or California.
Posts: 2,831
| Anyone else out there? Must read, must get input!!! | |
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04-09-2005, 01:43 AM
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#9 | | Member
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 88
| It rocked. Totally.
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"It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees!"
-Emiliano Zapata
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04-09-2005, 01:45 AM
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#10 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 279
| Anybody out there...?
__________________
"Sometimes you want to give up the guitar, you'll hate the guitar. But if you stick with it, you're gonna be rewarded."
-Jimi Hendrix
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04-09-2005, 01:51 AM
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#11 | | No, your mom's a lemur
Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: None of your Damn buisiness! Or California.
Posts: 2,831
| Nobody's going to get that except the two of us. C'mon, somebody tell me what you think. | |
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04-09-2005, 02:00 AM
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#12 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 279
| Someone read it. C'mon people, it's sick-nasty Tarantino good.
__________________
"Sometimes you want to give up the guitar, you'll hate the guitar. But if you stick with it, you're gonna be rewarded."
-Jimi Hendrix
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04-09-2005, 02:03 AM
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#13 | | No, your mom's a lemur
Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: None of your Damn buisiness! Or California.
Posts: 2,831
| Stop promoting my story, damnitt.  | |
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04-09-2005, 02:11 AM
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#14 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 5,545
| sweet sh!t.... you got a style of your own. Very MTV ish..... its sexily gritty.
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"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. And from this side only! The flight of a half-man, half-bird. Dinosaurs nuzzling their young in pastures where strip malls should be. Cookies on dowels. All those moment, lost in time. Gone, like eggs off a hooker's stomach. Time to die" -Phil Ken Sebben
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04-09-2005, 02:21 AM
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#15 | | No, your mom's a lemur
Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: None of your Damn buisiness! Or California.
Posts: 2,831
| I want to hear somebody's opinion who is historically very honest and experienced at this- ie. Moonitic, Zelda, ZZ, Gav, sabrepsycho, etc. But at the same time, the target audience- the male teens, ie Lotan, Rip, And DFP, are saying short mindless praises of it- Hell yeah, sweet ****, it rocked totally, etc. So that means I can warp the fragile minds to my mind liking. | |
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04-09-2005, 02:27 AM
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#16 | | No, your mom's a lemur
Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: None of your Damn buisiness! Or California.
Posts: 2,831
| And what the heck does "sexily gritty" mean? :P | |
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04-09-2005, 02:41 AM
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#17 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 279
| Quote:
I want to hear somebody's opinion who is historically very honest and experienced at this- ie. Moonitic, Zelda, ZZ, Gav, sabrepsycho, etc. But at the same time, the target audience- the male teens, ie Lotan, Rip, And DFP, are saying short mindless praises of it- Hell yeah, sweet ****, it rocked totally, etc. So that means I can warp the fragile minds to my mind liking.
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| Okey-Dokey...
You displayed a distinct command of the story's tone, which was idiosyncratically endearing. From a more technical standpoint, it was well-plotted without seeming contrived. Your greatest strength, however, was your characterization. The people that you created were very-well developed and I, for one, would not mind hanging out with Gothman (in fact, he reminds me of a kid at school).
__________________
"Sometimes you want to give up the guitar, you'll hate the guitar. But if you stick with it, you're gonna be rewarded."
-Jimi Hendrix
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04-09-2005, 02:56 AM
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#18 | | No, your mom's a lemur
Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: None of your Damn buisiness! Or California.
Posts: 2,831
| Much better. | |
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04-09-2005, 04:19 AM
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#19 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 1999 Location: Australia - various
Posts: 2,756
| Not particulary my stuff, too jumpy, no cohesiveness. But A for effort.
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You may love me but you dont accept me. I dont want your love without your acceptance. | |
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04-09-2005, 04:48 AM
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#20 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,091
| It was an entertaining satire of goths. Too short, however, and too blatantly satirical, to be much else. If you want people to talk about characterization, et cetera, then it needs to be something longer, and something that people are going to take at least somewhat seriously.
However, for simply making fun of goths (which seems to me to be its purpose), you did a great job. | |
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