Motivating a timid 10 year old

[fencerontheline]

I've been working with one 10 year old, who fences fairly nicely, and can do decently at the upcoming SRYC, but he's a little too scared to compete. He's definitely been coming out of his shell recently, but he's still pensive. His parents would both like him to fence, and I'm pretty sure he'd like to fence, but he's scared to do it, and his parents and I have agreed not to be too pushy. Any advice?

[FoilyDeath]

In our club, we run training, internal competitions, and that usually solves that kind of problem

[LUDICROUS]

Perhaps tell him that winning will feel better than getting that super dragon mechanical toy thing for christmas? I could see that working if you are convincing enough!

[Zelda]

I tell my little ones to growl behind thier masks. Or pull faces at their opponents when their mask is on. Its basically to try and help them relax and to remember it fun.

[Jason]

It might be a better idea to have him compete in smaller, local competitions and get more confident before putting him in something as potentially menacing as the RYC--the Y10 has something like 40 kids registered. The Brooklyn or FC Y10s usually have like 10 kids or something--far less stressful.
At 10 years old, there's no rush to competition. Better to slowly get him acclimated to the experience than throw him in and risk souring him on the sport.

[D+F+P=Hadouken!]

Tell him that he's great, and that if he fights hard, and competes, he'll be a winner someday. Show him a picture of Golubitsky or Sanzo or Cassara or someone, holding a medal or winning a bout or something, and that he could be that good, and have that glory. Thats a theory.

I had to motivate a y-10 once to even get on the strip and fence, cause he was so scared. I let him use my foil, telling him that it was a super sword, and that if he would fence, it would give him power to fence well and not be afraid. Using it gave him the confidence to fence, and do very well. Basically its just a placebo.

[Mr Epee]

I've been working with one 10 year old, who fences fairly nicely, and can do decently at the upcoming SRYC, but he's a little too scared to compete. He's definitely been coming out of his shell recently, but he's still pensive. His parents would both like him to fence, and I'm pretty sure he'd like to fence, but he's scared to do it, and his parents and I have agreed not to be too pushy. Any advice?

1. The most important thing is to avoid pushing the student into a situation where he doesn't feel comfortable. It sounds like you are doing well there. The last thing you want to do is for the kid to associate fencing with a situation where he doesn't feel comfortable.

2. Remember that not every youth fencer has a long and glorious fencing career in front of them. It sounds like you feel this kid has a little talent and would like to develop his abilities. Truth is that maybe fencing isn't for him in the long run. As his coach you can encourage him greatly.

3. As long as you keep training/fencing fun and maintain healthy social interaction between yourself and the students, and between the students themselves, then I think it will be much easier for you to leverage the concept of fun competetive experience.

[Spike327]

Make the kid eat raw steak, and alot of it. Additionally, obtain pictures of other fencers and set fire to them.

Seriously, though, I think Zelda's growl-behind-the-mask tactic is a pretty good one.

[Larrison]

Hmmm... I use humor and guile, which worked pretty well with one younger fencer recently. He was a couple of years older than 10, but had never fenced in a competition before and was absolutely terrified.

I took him aside over the couple of previous weeks, and explained that this was a sport where being "tricky" and "being able to play tricks" opponents on the strip was just as important as being fast and precise. Now this boy is a real practical joker and a punster, and it seemed to take home.

(Now, I also did the usual bit too -- making sure his electrical equipment and competition equipment arrived several weeks early, then making sure he knew how everything worked and what the difference between dry and electrical foil was. And spent several hours with him showing him the difference between competition electric and practice bouting.)

But the bit about "tricking" your opponent turned out to be what resonated. He was sitting with me watching some of the other Y-14 fencers in his pool. I pointed out to him that a certain fencer (who went on to win the competition) never attacked, but always waited for the opponent to come to him. He watched and said yeah, that's right.

A couple of matchups later, he was fencing this young man. My fencer comes on guard and doesn't attack. The other fencer comes on guard, and waits for an attack. Neither moves.... The director looks left, then right, but doesn't do anything.. The parents and adults watching are starting to crack up. 10.. 20.. maybe 30 seconds go by... Finally the other fencer attacks, and my guy does a step retreat, parry riposte to get the first point! (Unfortunately, my guy didn't win the bout..)

But afterwards, everyone was commenting on that. My fencer came off the strip smiling (even though he lost) and I complimented him on doing almost exactly the right thing -- make his opponent attack, if all he does is defend. And it was the right thing... I was making conversation with the other fencer's parents and complimenting them on their son's fencing when the young man came up and said "I just didn't know what to do! I was on guard, all tensed up, until my leg started hurting..."

It was a classical practical joke on someone on the strip...

[parrythis]

Don't push him, but DO lead him.

Apparently, the seed is planted or he wouldn't be there in the first place. It just needs nurturing to grow. Instead of pushing him to compete, take him to the competition as a spectator/team-assistant. Let him get the flavor of it. Show him how much fun others are having by entering the compeition. Have him participate in the war-story telling that follows an event.

Hopefully, by the next tournament, he will have made his own mind up.

[VERITAS]

Good story.

I am very interested in any of those ploys. They have a very special place in any sport because they are not unsportsmanlike or cheating, and they are also not taught as techniques. I wonder how successful those are...anyone else tried something like that?

I have several (9) younger siblings, and have practiced fencing with a few of them to varying degrees. Children in general have low stamina, low attention spans, and are still developing coordination. Very challenging to work with. However, there is the opportunity to begin training early to prepare them for true mastery of the art.

There is a school of thought often disregarded but perhaps of interest that competition should not be begun to early in the development of a fencer.

Fencing is a particularly unique sport, and with very few exceptions, a child will not have had much experience with it, as opposed to football, baseball or basketball, where competitions are major spectator sports. Children are also still growing and maturing in every way. I find the safest and most successful route for long-term development to be very gradual. Competing early can instill bad habits, cockiness, or unwillingness to drill and take lessons. In my opinion it wouldn't hurt to delay competing until confidence and ability has been built up by drills, individual lessons, and controlled assaults with the instructor. When the child is ready, competition will be pleasant and rewarding. Delayed gratification yielding superior results.

If the child must compete, general motivations for children should help. Sincere encouragement and rewards. Threats probably are unsuitable for young children. Also, maybe lots of bouting and small competitions with a treat or special outing afterwards.
If the fear can be isolated to a particular concern about say physical injury, losing, insecurity of some sort, perhaps that can be treated directly.

Good Luck. You are performing a wonderful service to fencing by passing it along to the next generation.

charley

[fencerontheline]

1. The most important thing is to avoid pushing the student into a situation where he doesn't feel comfortable. It sounds like you are doing well there. The last thing you want to do is for the kid to associate fencing with a situation where he doesn't feel comfortable.

2. Remember that not every youth fencer has a long and glorious fencing career in front of them. It sounds like you feel this kid has a little talent and would like to develop his abilities. Truth is that maybe fencing isn't for him in the long run. As his coach you can encourage him greatly.

3. As long as you keep training/fencing fun and maintain healthy social interaction between yourself and the students, and between the students themselves, then I think it will be much easier for you to leverage the concept of fun competetive experience.

1. Yeah, you and I are on the same page about this. I kinda feel that he's realllly gonna want to compete if he goes to the event, because all of his friends/clubmates are going to be fencing and having a good time.

2. Yeah, this kid's pretty coordinated, but he doesn't have too much 'fight' in him yet. Normally, I'd just take it as a sign of strip shyness, that'll either be overcome later on in life(or not) and I'd just let him be, but in this case, he's starting to act a hellof a lot more assertive (ever since the last competition- his first one, which was a brooklyn local kid's event), and at this point, it looks like this competitions are leading to personal growth.

3. Entirely agreed. I'm only coaching kids, ranging in ages from 6-14, and what you wrote was in-line with the guiding principal by which I work. I work my hardest to both teach them an understanding of the sport, to teach them about the ethics involved in any dicipline, and to keep it interesting and fun, .