Epeeists only

[Epee_Pox]

Oi! Go get your own room.

And we've only spent SIX pages trying to convince ourselves that we are worthwhile beings. Not nine, SIX! It's completely different!! See, we can count, we're smart! Not dumb, like everyone says... smart! And we want some respect!

[Epee_Pox]

Sorry, I started channeling Fredo there for a second. I'm over it now.



Hail Mary, full of grace...

[Victor]

Hey, Inq, when are you gonna update your user profile to reflect your love of epee?

[Inquartata]

Perhaps when the epeeists give all of their rep points to me.

[Schiavona]

One day I was watching a young fencer in our club fencing foil and becomming increasingly frustrated (as many true fencers do). After she finnished I went to her and said, "Hey! What's the problem?". She wiped away her tears and in a choked voice said, "It's all those stupid off target lights! I can't seem to land a touch without hitting off target somewhere!" "Relax," I said. "Do you know that in EPEE all those silly off targets would be good touches?" "Really?" "Yes, really!" She never touched a foil again.

True story, or near enough anyway.

[Zilverzmurfen]

Perhaps when the epeeists give all of their rep points to me.

Hey you have enough already, you six-dotted show-offer!


Oh, wait...

[Westley]

My three are so inadequate..... Oh woe is me! I am so sad... And Zilverz may actually begin to surpass Inq. Unheard of! Unbelievable! It's like Seabiscuit all over again except for without the horse, or the jockey, or the racetrack, or any similarities whatsoever!

[swordwench]

I did it again last night. I didn't mean to. But I couldn't help myself. There was almost no one around at practice. I ignored the foilistas, brought out the big blades, hooked up, and badgered the instructor into joining me. When he was done, I lured a decent teenaged foilist into it - it was his first time with an epee. He stayed on the strip and stayed hooked up when we were done. He admitted he really liked it. I went home very bruised but contented. I'm hoping there isn't something in the state laws against luring minors into acts of epee. Contributing to the delinquency of a foilist?

[Victor]

Swordwench, perhaps you're bi-weaponist?

[Mr Epee]

Quite the opposite!

You should be receiving an additional tax credit for your helping to create a better tomorrow for the youth of America.

[swordwench]

Bi-weaponist? Hmm - I've been called a lot of things in my time, but this one's new.

As for a tax credit, I'll take it where I can get it. Maybe Uncle Sam will go easy on me next time around. Too bad I already filed. Gives me a year to subvert more people...

[BrianH]

Good story, swordwench. I'm proud of you.

[glowstix]

Hey you have enough already, you six-dotted show-offer!


Oh, wait...

look who's talking "six dotted show offer"..hehehehe

[grotto]

I have posted this before I think but couldn't find it. It's a bit dated but the spirit true! Special thanks to Columbus fencing for still having this posted!



- THE EPEEMAN --


The Epeeman, the Epeeman, in frayed and tattered gear
Can lick his weight in wildcats and can drink his weight in beer
And for the foil and sabreman he hasn't any fear
For he's a late edition of the dashing Musketeer.


His jacket's a wreck from many a peck of the sharpened pointe d'arret
His pants are torn, his nerves are worn and ears been ripped away;
But should you care to question him, you'll surely hear him say:
"I'm an Epeeman and I guess by damn I'll always be that way."


He'll drop his elbow out a bit and wait for your attack
But then he'll swiftly parry and he'll nail you going back,
But when he's got his point in line and thinks he's guarded well,
He never seems to see the touch that creeps around his bell.


At times he'll answer any feint. At other times he won't.
The time that he should answer is the one time that he don't.
He'll parry almost anything between his head and toes,
But still a simple stop-thrust is the best defense he knows.


You'll always find an Epeeman where the lovely ladies are,
Boasting of the fights he's had, and showing off his scar.
And see the lovely ladies as they hang on every word
For he can tell the tallest tales that you have ever heard!


The woe befell the Epeeman, he met the March of Time.
They wired him up for sound effect, with flashing light and chime
For now it’s just a battery that determines right from wrong,
And every touch is heralded by the chiming of the gong.

-- THE FOILSMAN --


The Foilsman likes to dance around on swiftly moving feet.
He spends long hours practicing to beat a quick retreat.
He lunges fifty times a day and sweats his youth away,
Until at last he wises up and learns to fence Epee.


-- THE SABREMAN --


The Sabreman, the Sabreman, is a thrilling sight to see.
He twirls his weapon 'round his head and hacks away with glee.
His savage heart is filled with joy to hear the steel at play,
But someday he'll be civilized and learn to fence Epee.

[BrianH]

I love it! Thanks for posting.

[daveappr]

Well done & Bravo, Grotto

[Alain]

Not long ago, we had the county foil (sorry for using such a blasphemous word, but I wanted to win Master at Arms) championships. Two rounds of poules, then DE's, only about 30-ish people in total. During the whole day... I lost 7 hits (3 of them in the final).

Afterwards, I remember someone saying to me: "Wow, you're good". I just replied (feeling rather smug): "Yeah, I'm an épéeist". Mwahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (evil laugh)

P.S. If you're a foilist reading this, then beware: any of us proper fencers could beat you at your own PRACTICE weapon should we so wish

[Westley]

I just want to tell you- You all rock the house. And like twelve people told me I was on the "line." Or "On the Edge." It's completely true, but you're not supposed to know that.

[ThatReallyHurt]

Well, I hate to admit it, but I've picked up an epee for at least one bout for my last three club nights...

It's certainly different...

[Mr Epee]

The sun shines.
The birds sing.
The earth is bursting with the joy that only EPEE can bring.

The indelible rhapsody of truth, unshackled by the mendacity of RoW, fills the crisp morning air.

I grab an EPEE and prepare for the day ahead.


The Bard was a known EPEE Fencer

For he to-day that fences EPEE with me
Shall be my brother; be he ever so vile,
EPEE shall gentle his condition;
and other fencers now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they fence not EPEE
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles we EPEEists speak
We who've fought the EPEE way