The Next Big War

[scrapinpeg]

So what's going to be the next big shooting war?

Who will be involved? Why will it start? Where will it be fought? Who's going to win? How will it affect history?

Bonus points for explaining its impact on sport fencing.

[ThatReallyHurt]

Canada and Denmark. It's our rock, after all. It'll be fought way up north, probably somewhere cold. Crushing economic sanctions brought against both countries by Cuba and Peru will quickly stifle the conflict without a single shot being fired.

The whole thing will show up as a minor two paragraph article on page 84 of the New York Times.

Epee and sabre worldwide will be thrown into chaos, but foilists will still be too busy arguing about the new timings to notice.

[Have At You]

Belize and Madagascar will begin a bloody three-year war. It will begin as a border skirmish. Germany will be sucked in for pointing out that they don't share a border. NATO will then be forced to jump in. France will send a troop. The FIE will respond with new timings.

[Have At You]

In June, the heir to the throne of Monaco will be assassinated by an American exchange student on vacation from her classes in Paris.

Germany will immediately declare war on France in retaliation, but will invade Belgium by mistake.

England and Canada will declare war on Germany to protect Belgium, but Quebec will take the opportunity to secede.

A bitter civil war will be fought along the Ontario-Quebec border for several years, until the rest of Canada realizes they really don't want Quebec in the first place. In the meantime, Newfoundland and Labrador and Prince Edward Island are silently snapped up by Denmark, Iceland and Spain, without a fight.

The United States, with its armies spread so thin elsewhere, decides to sit this one out and have a good laugh.

The war in Europe quickly becomes a stalemate, and nations impose tariffs and price controls to protect their economies from the wartime disaster. Euros with the emblems of other countries are no longer accepted.

Italy joins the fray with exuberance and spunk, but due to erratic recordkeeping its soldiers are issued camcorders instead of weapons. The communist press works itself into a tizzy, with zero effect.

The war goes nuclear on August 17, 2007, when the French piss off Israel for the last time. The U.S. and Russia sit it out, but Europe and much of the Middle East is glowing within days. Pakistan and India quietly put their nukes in a dark room and go have a cup of tea.

Japan builds an army of robots, which are all immediately purchased throughout Asia and the US for domestic chores and entertainment purposes.

The war ends on December 20, 2007, declared a draw, with the decision by a coin toss. The coin is tossed by USFA president Maeve Mari, and it lands heads-up, giving victory to the German alliance.

Widespread disillusionment and utopianism sweep the world after the great war, with the result that sport fencing returns to a more classical style while gaining huge popularity.

[Svidrigailov]

North Korea is a good candidate I think...I doubt they have a very good succession plan if something happens to kim il jong. If he died, there is going to be a situation with a lot of guns, and a lot of angry people...

[LUDICROUS]

A bunch of neo nazis will fly a Israeli marked jet over Mecca on the day of Ramadan, dropping a nuclear bomb. The arab world instantly declares war on Israel and pulls out all the stops. Israel, faced with annihilation, nukes the middle east to pieces. The middle east glows green for the next 300 years. Jews around the world blame Germany, which retaliates by invading Switzerland and destroys the world's economy by seizing EVERY dollar in said country. Faced with a worldwide, radioactive economic disaster, Africa turns into 1 single communist state, dominated by the Zulus. The germans, with their huge amounts of money, turn into a world superpower and conquer the USA, europe and Asia.

All the top sport fencers in the world move quickly to New Zealand, and become NZ citizens. Due to the huge number of awesome coaches, coaching fees are driven through the floor .

Africa falls apart (since it has no money, is communist, and Germany owns the world), and the African Communist party is sent to colonise the middle east. 4 months after the Israeli's turned it green. Needless to say, they die.

The end.