Cat Haikus

[Inquartata]

Stolen from another board ( where they were not attributed ):

The food in my bowl
Is old, and more to the point
Contains no tuna.
----
So you want to play.
Will I claw at dancing string?
Your ankle's closer.
----
There's no dignity
In being sick - which is why
I don't tell you where.
----
Seeking solitude
I am locked in the closet.
For once I need you.
----
Tiny can, dumped in
Plastic bowl. Presentation,
One star; service: none.
----
Am I in your way?
You seem to have it backwards:
This pillow's taken.
----
Your mouth is moving;
Up and down, emitting noise.
I've lost interest.
----
The dog wags his tail,
Seeking approval. See mine?
Different message.
----
My brain: walnut-sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work?
----
Most problems can be
Ignored. The more difficult
Ones can be slept through.
----
My affection is conditional.
Don't stand up,
It's your lap I love.
----
Cats can't steal the breath
Of children. But if my tail's
Pulled again, I'll learn.
----
I don't mind being
Teased, any more than you mind
A skin graft or two.
----
So you call this thing
Your "cat carrier." I call
These my "blades of death."
----
Toy mice, dancing yarn
Meowing sounds. I'm convinced:
You're an idiot.

[Hurriranger]

im not a cat person so....

There's kittens in the waste-can,
And kittens on my chair.
There's kittens dancing on my bed,
There's kittens everywhere.

They are swinging on the curtain,
And hanging from the sash.
One just jumped in their water dish
And made a mighty splash.

Now they made a kitten ladder
So they could climb the walls.
Now they're climbing up my pantleg
And clawing at my balls.

And now I've had to arm myself,
Although they're mighty cute.
If just one more draws blood from me,
I swear to God I'll shoot!

Now there's kittens in the stew-pot
And kittens on the run.
There's kitten-corpses on the ground
And I am having fun.

[ReverseLunge]

one two three four five
six seven eight nine ten eleven
twelve...oh what the f@#$ I forget

[MikeHarm]

Too close to bath tub
a cat falls
Splashhhhh!!

[mrbiggs]

Cat's do not like me
Every time I see one,
it claws me. Cats suck.

Cat food is stupid.
There's like infinity kinds,
That are hard to stock.

[neevel]

Guest is visiting
Stranger I do not know
Pee on his luggage

[ThatReallyHurt]

big annoying cat
stop drinking from the toilet
you just licked my face

[Westley]

People are writing
Idiotic cat poems
Oh how Pathetic.

[ThatReallyHurt]

Originally Posted by Westley

People are writing
Idiotic cat poems
Oh how Pathetic.

it could be much worse
the haikus are only in
the water cooler

[Inquartata]

Westley is bitter
Perhaps a cat bit him once?
Is that why he's green?

[HillBilly]

westley looks now like
he is about to vomit
i hope not on me

[Army Fencer]

Whatever happened to 5-7-5?

[mrbiggs]

Originally Posted by Army Fencer

Whatever happened to 5-7-5?

Those are all 5-7-5, except for a few at the beginning. (Hurrianger)

Right?

[HillBilly]

oh psshhh it's time for change! time to change it all! down with ancient japanese poem formats!!!

was not mine 5-7-5?

Inconcievable
I am not writing correct?
I must be a dolt

[Inquartata]

Originally Posted by Army Fencer

Whatever happened to 5-7-5?

Which ones aren't?

[Soldier]

ReverseLunge's.

[HillBilly]

Oh i did not know
I thought you were talking to
me! oh how silly!

A fool was I to
Think of such selfish put downs
when put to R. L.

[Westley]

No my companion
Open your wide eyes.
Twas ALWAYS a fool.

[Haze]

seems you can use haikus for anything these days, http://www.fixitnow.com/haiku.htm

interesting business theming

[Point_Left]

I am too tired
to think of a cat poem.
I'd rather sleep deep.