Your Kids and Fencing

[Mo]

Ok parents, it is your turn.

How do you feel about watching your kids fence?

What do you do for them at meets?

How close can you get?

Are you "allowed" to cheer for them?


I've noticed a lot of moms doing various types of needle work at the meets. That seems like a good way to be there and not look like you are too nervous about things.
I have never seen a mom doing needle work when their kid is fencing.
We are facilitators for the kids. Get them what they need but try to stay out of the way. Coaches are there for a reason.

[FoilyGeezer]

Interesting. My kids (7 and 10) just did their first tournament last month. I basically just helped them hook and unhook and didn't try to make it much more than a familiarizing experience for them, but I really don't see much to be gained from strip coaching the kids during the bouts. Once they start to get comfortable with the event structure, that may change, but I'm a firm believer that you prepare before the bout not during it.

[daveappr]

wow you were actually allowed to hook up your kids? My son wasn't too thrilled with me helping him hook up, so I leave it to him. I enjoy watching his bouts and since he fences sabre and I fence epee- I don't fret over his actions too much- but it drives me crazy to see him stop in the middle of an action he may have scored on and lose right of way. I'm there for the moral support and the venting- he likes to vent- and to share the excitement of whatever success he may enjoy for the moment.

[Baldric]

I have been taking my daughter to competitions for about 4 years.

We have established what I am allowed to do:

I can:

1) Drive her there
2) Pay
3) Watch (so long as I don't speak)
4) Buy lunch
5) Carry kit back to car
6) Drive her home

I am forbidden from:

1) Commenting on her fencing
2) Doing just about anything else!

It works for us. If she really annoys me, I wait until she is chatting with one of the cooler boy foilists, and then start talking to her, using a pet name from when she was much younger! Always works.......

[Red #40]

My son fences Saber and I fence epee so we have a pretty good set up. If he likes my advide he listens to it, if not he says "you fence epee, its different in Saber"
And since I fence epee there really is no point in even trying to coach him. I have seen more than my share of overbearing parents though. At nationals I watched a coach/father walk away from his son in disgust because his son finished second. As a parent it was pretty hard to watch I felt really bad for the kid.

[Joe biebel]

My son and I both fence. Truth be known, he would rather play video games at present. I have been his coach from day one, and watching him fence is vastly more difficult than fencing myself. I have gotten a lot better at being stripside with him and feeding him encouragement and simple tactics while he's fencing. He actually seeks me out now for advice, during the one minute breaks! We videotape most of his matches and review them maybe five times each. We have made it a habit to have him look for technical and tactical weaknesses in himself and his opponent. Driving to and from fencing practice and tournaments is partially used to discuss the emphasis for the day. He now fences matches at our club working on the lesson or theme for the day, somtimes at the expense of victories for the "long term" results.

I would very much like to take credit for his skills, but honestly, his heart, intellegence, and competetive nature are his own. If you are a competetive fencer with a child that fences, don't let a few discouraging remarks (you will get them) from your child prevent you from giving them the benefit of your knowledge and experience. It took a lot of "heart to heart" talks with him to get him to listen openly and honestly to me and some days are better than others. At one point, I was ready to give up on working with him. As luck would have it, a friend of mine happenened to be there at just the right moment with support and advice. Thank you Michael Marx. Someday, when another coach gets him, they will really have something special to work with.

Joe Biebel

[Peach]

I love watching my daughter fence, but I do so as far out of her line of vision as I can. My husband and I paid for her club fees and equipment, took her to local and national tournaments, paid for her to go to national tournaments with her coach and clubmates when she was old enough, and tried not to brag about her too much because all the other parents needed a chance to brag about their kids too. We fed her and nagged her to drink water. We stayed out of her way.

She was usually up there on the top half of the points lists the whole time she fenced, but neither her father nor I was interested in being the kind of sports parents who get behind and shove. As far as we were concerned, we were glad she was fencing because one of the things parents can give their kids is the chance to experience sports as part of growing up, and because fencing is a lifetime sport.

In college, the only time I saw her fence was the times she was in the NCAAs. I still felt exactly the same as when she was ten years old and fencing. It's so much fun to watch her fence and I'm so proud of her. The only thing that's hard is I hate seeing her lose. As a fencer myself, I know that is part of the sport, and I remember one childless friend lecturing me about how I should feel detached, but as her mother it is harder for me to watch her lose than it is for me to lose myself (believe me, I've lost some doozies). That's probably one of the reasons I'm not allowed to watch

I took up fencing myself because if it was that much fun to watch, it must be fun to do. And it is. It also keeps me out of her hair.

[Capt. Slo-mo]

I remember fondly the early days of Y10 when I would help hook up my youth fencer, and then pat them on the head and send them out onto the strip.

There was once a time when I had some relevant advice during their bouts, now they work with their coaches and make their own strip decisions, and it's for the better.

Now we get them to the venue, let them get ready on their own, and just make sure they have enough water and food to last the day. (and toss in a few gentle reminders to eat and drink some of their supplies during the long break before DEs!)

I videotape their matches, and we look at them from time to time to watch for techniques and strategies to perfect.

I can't imagine not being there for our kids, or that there are parents so disinterested that they don't bother to come watch. I just wish there was some way to make things better when they lose (and that the concession stands sold Valium for parents with kids in the top 8!)

[The Armourer]

Well I have always been involved in whatever my 'boys' did so I was Treasurer of the school PTA, then a school govenor, group scout leader - so fencing was another challenge. I learnt how to look after their kit (thats where the Armourer came from originally) learnt how to referee (you need to know the rules when your child fences competively) and then, well I suppose I took over the running of the fencing club where they fenced. I love that they do well at the sport, I dont watch them fence much these days and NEVER watch them fence against each other in a competition (this happens more than you would think possible).

Bottom line - I can do what I please, I am there if they want me to be (at competitions these days I am to be found reading a book in the car park!)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! I wish you all good luck in the coming year.