Your parents and fencing

[leia]

hm, my mum has come... though she sits in the corner knitting... not really paying attention. and when i reached the final of my first novice competition, the other girl had a big loud family supporting her.. while my mum had no idea what was happening
but nah, theres never really seems to be many parents of anyone around at the fencing competitions ive been to. so meh. :P
ill get there eventully with my parents..

[VELISARIOS]

Always, but some times they cannot come to see me.

[VELISARIOS]

Always. But some times they cannot come to see me fence.

[melihop]

I like having my mom there.. somtiems.. lol.. its money and food.. and a ride that i don't have to worry about leaving before i am out of the compititon.... and.. its nice to be abvle to walk over to her.. and whine about the stupid director!!!! Even if she has no idea what i am talking about..

i don't like her there when she volinteers for stuff.. like scorekeeping or somthign and aftewards she does the "well.. i helped with scorekeeping.. i gave up my entire day for you.. the least you could do is clean the bathroom"

[Capt. Slo-mo]

After she's given you money and food and rides and support, cleaning up the bathroom occasionally is the least you could do. I'd throw in an unprompted dishwashing epsiode every now and then, too.

[Peach]

However, as a mother I wouldn't treat it as an exchange. Kids are supposed to help out.

[AllisonT]

[quote=bwoodward]My Mom and Dad haven't seen me fence yet, but I wouldn't mind. Of course, Dad's 80 and Mom is 79. I'm 52. QUOTE]

OK, I'm 42 and my mom LOVES to watch me fence. She finds all of this very cool and it's a chance for me to explain what's going on. She's from the age where women didn't play sports because it wasn't what women did...they watched men play. She hated that because she was a rippin' basketball player back in the day. When she's there, I fence much better.
My kids are to young to make it through one of my tourneys so having my mom there is fine.

[Nusy]

When I know that I'd fence well, I don't mind if they're there. When I fence saber, I like if my mother is there to support me... If I know I'll lose or something, I never let my parents get in the 100m area of my piste...

[MyrddinsPrecint]

you really shouldn't have opened up this can of worms....

<rant>

....my parents have turned being unengaged with fencing into a zen-like thing, and they shouldn't enjoy it so much is all.......

when i convince my dad to come to competitions, when he hasn't seen me much in months because i'm in college now, he shows up, sees one bout, and then leaves.

or ... from yesterday.... pools are posted, i immediately tell my dad where i'm going to be, and head there. in the 5-10 minutes it takes for pools to start... he's still not there. in fact, he's sitting in the chair he brought with him, reading. getting his attention is impossible, so i have a friend go get him. so, by the time i fence (third bout of the pool), he's actually there...

having my parents at a competition is like babysitting a child who has no interest at all in whatever is going on.


and this would all be ok, if they realized that the reason they know very little about my life is the fact that they refuse to be involved in it.... but then they start not allowing me to go out for new years with fencers, because they've never met them, and the situation is, thus, "risky" ----
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarg.

i thought when i moved out this junk would stop happening.

</rant>


....sorry.

[LordTofuDog-jnr]

Originally Posted by MyrddinsPrecint

you really shouldn't have opened up this can of worms....

<rant>

....my parents have turned being unengaged with fencing into a zen-like thing, and they shouldn't enjoy it so much is all.......

when i convince my dad to come to competitions, when he hasn't seen me much in months because i'm in college now, he shows up, sees one bout, and then leaves.

or ... from yesterday.... pools are posted, i immediately tell my dad where i'm going to be, and head there. in the 5-10 minutes it takes for pools to start... he's still not there. in fact, he's sitting in the chair he brought with him, reading. getting his attention is impossible, so i have a friend go get him. so, by the time i fence (third bout of the pool), he's actually there...

having my parents at a competition is like babysitting a child who has no interest at all in whatever is going on.


and this would all be ok, if they realized that the reason they know very little about my life is the fact that they refuse to be involved in it.... but then they start not allowing me to go out for new years with fencers, because they've never met them, and the situation is, thus, "risky" ----
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarg.

i thought when i moved out this junk would stop happening.

</rant>


....sorry.

It seems that your parents misunderstand you, but don't go thinking that makes you an artist or anything.

[Zilverzmurfen]

It's only in the last couple of years that my mum has bothered to come and watch me fence. But this is mainly because there aren't really many competitions in Sweden, and especially not in my area.

However, my club co-arranges a Womens Épée World Cup competition so she's been there supporting me when I've participated. She even seems to enjoy it!

(Had to do a bit of explaining first though so that she could follow the game.)

Note to people who brings family/friends to comps:
If you know that they don't know the rules of fencing then make sure you tell them BEFORE the competition starts. Preferably not the same day as the actual comp. Trying to explain things inbetween bouts and poules is very tiring and frustrating.

You always want to be helpful and to promote the sport (atleast I do!) but it WILL draw you attention and concentration from the actual fencing.

I've ruined more than one competition in this way, so I'm No more Miss Nicegirl... *grrr*

[hpfencing]

Agian this revolves around the issue that fencing is not a spectator sport, not yet anyway. It hard to get parents to watch; much less the rest of the world.

We have had a few "mini-classes" for parents before tournaments so that parents understand a little better. After the "classes" parents feel more comfortable and want to see what is going on without being too confused and what-not.

[fresfisher929]

Being a youth fencer i don't have much choice in this matter but i find that i fence better when i have my parents around, espescially when we're at a national tournament, my dad has gotten used to not only guarding chairs and my stuff, but making me sit down and relax, and he enjoys watching it as well.

[foilz]

Not to put too fine a point on it, if you were born in the 70's, your parents know this. If you were born in the 80's, they remember it. I can tell you they want to be there watching you. With all the things they have to worry about, maybe they just forgot they did:

You who are on the road
Must have a code that you can live by
And so become yourself
Because the past is just a good-bye.
Teach your children well,
Their father's hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picks, the one you'll know by.
Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you will cry,
So just look at them and sigh
and know they love you.

And you, of tender years,
Can't know the fears that your elders grew by,
And so please help them with your youth,
They seek the truth before they can die.

Teach your parents well,
Their children's hell will slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picks, the one you'll know by.

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you will cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.

[D'Artag-NOT]

My mom has been to one of my competitions and was impressed. It was good for me to have her there because ONLY my mom would be impressed by my fencing.

It's one of my lasting regrets that my dad never saw me fence. He was very proud of me for doing it ("Is this the night you do your swords?") but his health made it impossible for him to ever come and watch before he died.

My sister comes once in awhile--in fact, when my car broke down she gave up a whole Sunday to take me to a tournament. I like having her there, but I'd like it better if she'd quit trying to coach me. (She doesn't fence.)

[oiuyt]

MY mother isn't allowed to watch me fence. Empirical evidence suggests that her attendance is a good guaranteer that I will have an exceptionally poor day.

Empirical evidence has also suggested that I have no similar problem with my father.

In any case it's rare that I have any family in attendance.

-B :)

[Asphalt]

i'm 26 and i can honestly say i don't think my parents have ever seen me take part in any sporting event...ever.
They occasionally threaten to come watch me fence - but never will.
But i'm not bitter

call my therapist will ya?

[pacer]

My folks never saw me compete. I think my dad took me to one lesson - I rode my bike to the rest. But he was great about driving me all over L.A. in the 70's to find equipment (Faulkner and Mori were around then if I recall).
It was a hoot to have my aunt show up at summer nationals in Charlotte to watch me - it even made her annual Christmas letter!
As a parent, I've made it to 90% of my son's competitions and have learned to keep quiet, no matter what happens. I bring the gear and the money.