Question game

[sabreur]

I have many, but my favorites look like this: http://www.cafepress.com/cp/browse/N...4417_bt-1_nr-1

Does DFP owe me for this post?

[Zilverzmurfen]

Does DFP owe me for this post?

Yup. We all owe you!

No wait, that should have been "we all love you"...


Is that really a beheaded man?
It's a bit morbid, isn't it..?

[Go? Fencing?]

Only a bit.

But we like a bit of morbid humor now and then, don't we?

[Fencergrl]

Of course!
Who doesn't?

[Go? Fencing?]

Not me! 'Tis too fun.

What's your favorite joke?

[Araznal]

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Mexican, and a Texan are on a plane. Suddenly, the plane plummets and there's only one parachute. Sacrificing himself, the Englishman jumps out of the plane screaming, "long live the queen!" The Frenchman, not to be outdone by the Englishman, follows screaming, "vive le France!" The Texan goes to the open door, screams "remember the Alamo!" and pushes out the Mexican.

There are better ones, but they're not appropriate here.

Did you hear the one about the Polish guy, the American, and the Englishman?

[Go? Fencing?]

Nope. Gonna tell it?

[Araznal]

Alright. An American, Englishman, and a Polish guy are doing a survey. The surveyer asks, "if you were left in the middle of the desert with only one thing, what would that be?" The American says, "I'd bring some food, so I don't die of starvation." The Englishman says, "I'd bring some water, so I won't die of thirst." The Polish guy takes a while, then says, "I'd bring a car door, so I can roll down the window if it gets too hot."

I'm a quarter Polish, so nobody go crazy.

What about you? Jokes?

[Go? Fencing?]

Btw, I'm 125% Polish.

The CEO's of Coors, Budweiser, Michelob, and Guinness get together for a meeting. They decide to meet at a restaurant. The waitress comes over and asks if she can get their drink orders. The CEO of Coors says, "I'll have a Coors." The CEO of Budweiser says, "I'll have a Bud." The CEO of Michelob says, "I'll have a Michelob." The CEO of Guinness says, "Oh, I'll just have water." The other three CEO's turn to him in surprise and ask, "What? Aren't you going to have a Guinness?" He answers, "Well, if you guys aren't going to have beer, neither will I."

Do you enjoy telling jokes?

[Araznal]

This sucks... I can't give rep to you for that one. I've heard it a couple of times before and it's great. Oh, jokes? Yeah, I like telling jokes. I wish I had a larger arsenal, though.

Do you have a bail-out joke? A joke you keep stashed for the most dire of circumstances?

[Go? Fencing?]

That's one of them. Here's another:

A couple had six children. The father was so pleased that he took to calling his wife "Mother of Six," despite her objections. One night, they were at a party, and the dad decided that he was ready to leave. He called to his wife, "Are you ready to go, 'Mother of Six'?" She replied, "Whenever you're ready, 'Father of Four'."

What other jokes do you know?

[Araznal]

That's hilarious! Alright, my turn:
A woman goes to a local ice-cream parlor and asks the man at the counter for a chocolate cone. The man says, "Oh, I'm sorry ma'am, we don't have chocolate." She says, "Oh, alright. I'll have a chocolate cone, then." The guy says, "I just told you, we're out of chocolate." She says, "Ok, fine. I'll have a chocolate cone." The man, now frustrated, says, "Spell strawberry." The woman says, "What?" The man says, "Just do it please, or I won't get you any ice-cream." "Ok," says the woman, "S-T-R-A-W-B-E-R-R-Y." "Good," says the man, "now spell chocolate." "C-H-O-C-O-L-A-T-E." "You spelled it wrong," says the man, "you left out the f*ck." "What?" says the woman, "there's no f*ck in chocolate." The man says, "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!"

That joke has a really hard delivery, but if you get it right, it's priceless.

More jokes?

[Go? Fencing?]

Yep.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show the possum it could be done.

Did you understand that one? (I don't, unless you take it like a Latin joke.)

[Araznal]

Not at all.

Should one of us start a joke telling thread?

[Go? Fencing?]

Sure, go for it.

Whould you like me to explain that joke?

[Araznal]

Yes.

Why don't you start the thread? You're more respected here.

[Go? Fencing?]

Cause you suggested it, and I'm lazy.

I was going to start a poll about fencers being lazy, did you know that? That was back in April....

[Araznal]

What a coincidence, I'm lazy too. That's why I asked you. I'll do it, though.

Did you really have that idea? Can I steal that idea too?

[Go? Fencing?]

Sure, I had that idea! I talked about it in this thread, somewhere in the pages 160's, I think.

Don't you know you're not supposed to steal?

[Araznal]

Don't you know you're not supposed to be lazy?

Are you going to be posting in the joke thread?