1Likes -
07-16-2005 07:41 PM #10041
Senior Member
Array I have many, but my favorites look like this: http://www.cafepress.com/cp/browse/N...4417_bt-1_nr-1
Does DFP owe me for this post? Why sabre? Because you don't take heads with the point. -
07-16-2005 07:49 PM #10042
Posting Hound
Array  Originally Posted by sabreur Does DFP owe me for this post? Yup. We all owe you!
No wait, that should have been "we all love you"... 
Is that really a beheaded man?
It's a bit morbid, isn't it..? -
07-16-2005 07:50 PM #10043
Posting Hound
Array Only a bit.
But we like a bit of morbid humor now and then, don't we? -
07-16-2005 09:39 PM #10044
Posting Hound
Array Beer, it's whats for dinner! ~ a young snowboarding Canadian The meek don't want it! ~ sticker on a rock band's guitar -
07-16-2005 09:43 PM #10045
Posting Hound
Array Not me! 'Tis too fun.
What's your favorite joke? -
07-16-2005 10:19 PM #10046
Senior Member
Array An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Mexican, and a Texan are on a plane. Suddenly, the plane plummets and there's only one parachute. Sacrificing himself, the Englishman jumps out of the plane screaming, "long live the queen!" The Frenchman, not to be outdone by the Englishman, follows screaming, "vive le France!" The Texan goes to the open door, screams "remember the Alamo!" and pushes out the Mexican.
There are better ones, but they're not appropriate here.
Did you hear the one about the Polish guy, the American, and the Englishman? "What, really? I thought that song was just about a dragon who lived by the sea and frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee."
"Dan, you're such a dumb*ss"
Read it, be happy: Funny -
07-16-2005 10:21 PM #10047
Posting Hound
Array -
07-16-2005 10:28 PM #10048
Senior Member
Array Alright. An American, Englishman, and a Polish guy are doing a survey. The surveyer asks, "if you were left in the middle of the desert with only one thing, what would that be?" The American says, "I'd bring some food, so I don't die of starvation." The Englishman says, "I'd bring some water, so I won't die of thirst." The Polish guy takes a while, then says, "I'd bring a car door, so I can roll down the window if it gets too hot."
I'm a quarter Polish, so nobody go crazy.
What about you? Jokes? "What, really? I thought that song was just about a dragon who lived by the sea and frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee."
"Dan, you're such a dumb*ss"
Read it, be happy: Funny -
07-16-2005 10:35 PM #10049
Posting Hound
Array Btw, I'm 125% Polish.
The CEO's of Coors, Budweiser, Michelob, and Guinness get together for a meeting. They decide to meet at a restaurant. The waitress comes over and asks if she can get their drink orders. The CEO of Coors says, "I'll have a Coors." The CEO of Budweiser says, "I'll have a Bud." The CEO of Michelob says, "I'll have a Michelob." The CEO of Guinness says, "Oh, I'll just have water." The other three CEO's turn to him in surprise and ask, "What? Aren't you going to have a Guinness?" He answers, "Well, if you guys aren't going to have beer, neither will I."
Do you enjoy telling jokes? -
07-16-2005 10:40 PM #10050
Senior Member
Array This sucks... I can't give rep to you for that one. I've heard it a couple of times before and it's great. Oh, jokes? Yeah, I like telling jokes. I wish I had a larger arsenal, though.
Do you have a bail-out joke? A joke you keep stashed for the most dire of circumstances? "What, really? I thought that song was just about a dragon who lived by the sea and frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee."
"Dan, you're such a dumb*ss"
Read it, be happy: Funny -
07-16-2005 10:46 PM #10051
Posting Hound
Array That's one of them. Here's another:
A couple had six children. The father was so pleased that he took to calling his wife "Mother of Six," despite her objections. One night, they were at a party, and the dad decided that he was ready to leave. He called to his wife, "Are you ready to go, 'Mother of Six'?" She replied, "Whenever you're ready, 'Father of Four'."
What other jokes do you know? -
07-16-2005 10:56 PM #10052
Senior Member
Array That's hilarious! Alright, my turn:
A woman goes to a local ice-cream parlor and asks the man at the counter for a chocolate cone. The man says, "Oh, I'm sorry ma'am, we don't have chocolate." She says, "Oh, alright. I'll have a chocolate cone, then." The guy says, "I just told you, we're out of chocolate." She says, "Ok, fine. I'll have a chocolate cone." The man, now frustrated, says, "Spell strawberry." The woman says, "What?" The man says, "Just do it please, or I won't get you any ice-cream." "Ok," says the woman, "S-T-R-A-W-B-E-R-R-Y." "Good," says the man, "now spell chocolate." "C-H-O-C-O-L-A-T-E." "You spelled it wrong," says the man, "you left out the f*ck." "What?" says the woman, "there's no f*ck in chocolate." The man says, "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!"
That joke has a really hard delivery, but if you get it right, it's priceless.
More jokes? "What, really? I thought that song was just about a dragon who lived by the sea and frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee."
"Dan, you're such a dumb*ss"
Read it, be happy: Funny -
07-16-2005 11:03 PM #10053
Posting Hound
Array Yep.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show the possum it could be done.
Did you understand that one? (I don't, unless you take it like a Latin joke.) -
07-16-2005 11:05 PM #10054
Senior Member
Array Not at all.
Should one of us start a joke telling thread? "What, really? I thought that song was just about a dragon who lived by the sea and frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee."
"Dan, you're such a dumb*ss"
Read it, be happy: Funny -
07-16-2005 11:07 PM #10055
Posting Hound
Array Sure, go for it.
Whould you like me to explain that joke? -
07-16-2005 11:08 PM #10056
Senior Member
Array Yes.
Why don't you start the thread? You're more respected here. "What, really? I thought that song was just about a dragon who lived by the sea and frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee."
"Dan, you're such a dumb*ss"
Read it, be happy: Funny -
07-16-2005 11:23 PM #10057
Posting Hound
Array Cause you suggested it, and I'm lazy.
I was going to start a poll about fencers being lazy, did you know that? That was back in April.... -
07-16-2005 11:27 PM #10058
Senior Member
Array What a coincidence, I'm lazy too. That's why I asked you. I'll do it, though.
Did you really have that idea? Can I steal that idea too? "What, really? I thought that song was just about a dragon who lived by the sea and frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee."
"Dan, you're such a dumb*ss"
Read it, be happy: Funny -
07-16-2005 11:31 PM #10059
Posting Hound
Array Sure, I had that idea! I talked about it in this thread, somewhere in the pages 160's, I think.
Don't you know you're not supposed to steal? -
07-16-2005 11:35 PM #10060
Senior Member
Array Don't you know you're not supposed to be lazy?
Are you going to be posting in the joke thread? "What, really? I thought that song was just about a dragon who lived by the sea and frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee."
"Dan, you're such a dumb*ss"
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