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Curmudgeon Emeritus
Array "I take that to be a rhetorical question."
How do you get to Carnegie Hall? -
Senior Member
Array You follow these things: http://www.fastpay.com/common/images/arrow_up.jpg 
What's better than strawberries and cream? -
Curmudgeon Emeritus
Array Blueberries, straight.
For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? -
Senior Member
Array Depends on the exchange rate.
Is there, is there balm in Gilead? Nothing is more frightening than ignorance in action. -
Curmudgeon Emeritus
Array Not since the great Balm Blight of '42, alas.
Is the bloom off the rose? -
Senior Member
Array  Originally Posted by Inquartata Not since the great Balm Blight of '42, alas.
Is the bloom off the rose? It is certainly off YOUR rose....
Is your desk a mess? Why sabre? Because you don't take heads with the point. -
Senior Member
Array uh,,there's a desk under my mess....
do you know where your stapler is? "If you want it.. go for it!" Sugar Ray Leonard -
Senior Member
Array I loaned it to my brother in '83 and have been meaning to ask for it back...
When was the last time you called your mamma? Nothing is more frightening than ignorance in action. -
Senior Member
Array Yesterday - I phone her all the time since she lives alone
Where does all that fluff come from that you find in your belly-button (errrrrrrrr but perhaps its just me ) -
Senior Member
Array The fluff fairies. They put it there at night when you're asleep. It's made from ground up missing pencil stubs (ever throw one away? where do they all go?) and unmatched socks.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? One test is worth a thousand opinions. I ain't as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was. - Toby Keith Living life without taking the occasional risk is like lemon-pepper chicken without the lemon-peper. It's just chicken. -
Senior Member
Array He could cut a quarter cord if you gave him a quarter for every quarter cord he cut.
Who ever thought to serve fried zuchinni with a meal? -
Some moron. Zucchini sucks.
Why does everything I do in fencing go horribly wrong in some new, twisted way the night before EVERY tournament I go to? -
Senior Member
Array Because you are doomed for life.
What do you mean, zucchini sucks? Are you crazy? -
No. Zucchini just doesn't cut it. Except zucchini bread, that stuff's awesome.
Why isn't the new sbemail up to par? -
Senior Member
Array Because Strong Bas is doomed for life.
I never thought they were that funny; the whole site struck me as an immense drain of intellect. The only emails I liked were Trogdor and the techno email. Why does everybody think they're so great anyway? -
Senior Member
Array Because they do a great jorb. (Tape leg...)
Where have all the flowers gone? Nothing is more frightening than ignorance in action. -
Senior Member
Array Mmm... carnations, yum.
I'm sorry, what was your question again? -
Senior Member
Array It was self-referential. Never mind...
Why do clocks turn clockwise, and not the other way? Nothing is more frightening than ignorance in action. -
Senior Member
Array Because it's very dangerous for a clock and an anti-clock to come into contact with each other. Big explosion, you know.
If you could communicate with any kind of animal, what would it be? -
Curmudgeon Emeritus
Array Women. 
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