American/European way of life

[Stylothek]

My uncle made me think about the differences between the US and EU way of growing up the other day when he visited us here in Germany.
I was just getting ready to go out when he came in and asked where I was going all "dressed up" as he called it. I was wearing khakis, Moccasins and a pink Burberry poloshirt with the collar up looking like I was heading for the next club, I thought. But he insisted, his sons would never ever wear pink, never wear a poloshirt, but rather a T-shirt and sneakers to go out. He frowned when I told him, I'd be back around 3 or 4 o' clock in the morning and he'd be alone for that time because he wanted to catch up on his jet-lag and my parents were out for a business dinner. "YOU ARE STAYING OUT HOW LONG, DID I HEAR THAT CORRECTLY???"....Anyway, he let me go, I left my parents a note aswell. Had fun at the clubs with my friends. When I came home about a quarter of four with a girl who was going to stay the night at my place (my parents don't care,they're the bestest ) we met him in the kitchen. My uncle then told me that my cousins would envy me if they knew that I could stay out longer than 11, drink and bring home girls. He found it disgusting, the way the Europeans partied and especially how we dress...He calmed down the next day and we got on fine for the next week (he left today). Now, I want to ask the Americans among you: How do you see it? How did you party in my age? Here's the info: I'm 16 years old and no, my grades aren't suffering under my partying and I visit a private highschool known as one of the best in Germany. And what's the music/fashion situation like? I like listening and dancing to house in the club, but I listen to Oasis or Bon Jovi or Classical music when I'm alone. And why doesn't any American agree, that pink rocks? I don't care if you may think it's a gay color, as long as I'm not gay.........

[cornflower]

Wow! Well, I'm not surprised... Germans are very sexually liberated and independent, IMO. My parents still treat me like I'm 5 years old and I'm 18 for chrissakes! *sigh* Germans...


and btw, pink IS cool. Here in Canada, a lot of guys have no problem wearing pink

[telkanuru]

Sometimes I think that the main problem with americans is that we have the holy cross shoved to far up our backsides (as evidenced by the recent election). That being said, I think the reason why college is such a wild time for some is because all that pent-up emotion, sex drive, et cetera, is finally let loose. I am fully for more personal freedom to experiment during one's teenage years, because you have the longest to fix what you screw up. Partying during the late teenage years (ie. high school) is confined to going to someone's house, drinking 'till you puke, and trying to have sex with anything in the vicinity mainly because it's taboo, and teens live to break taboos.

Also, what you wear depends on where you are clubbing. One does not go to a Goth club in a pink shirt (except for the silly ironic pink shirts that have 'It's the new black' printed on them. I don't know what kind of clubs are popular in Germany, but I do know German techno is equal to none.

[achilleus]

Part of it is European, and part of it is who your parents are.

I have a german friend who's in his 40's, and he gets the same questions I get when he visits his folks.

'You're going out late? Where? Why? With who?'

I was shocked when he told me this, and he responded 'Parents are parents the world over.'

That said, I don't wear pink because it looks bad on me. And yeah, a lot guys I know would never wear pink. Then again, the polo shirt with collar up went out of style a long time ago...

Then again so did leg warmers...(shudder)

[prototoast]

At college, there are a lot of preppy kids who wear pink polo shirts with the collar up... they are generally considered to be, at best, tools.
As for freedom/partying/etc. I choose not to do any of that, and so I never had any disagreements with my parents about such things. There's a lot of diversity amongst others that I know. Everyone is different, so it's not just an American vs European thing as it is an individual preference thing.

[Larrison]

Hmm.. part of it is different parents, and part of it is different cultures, and part of it is the way the system is organized.

The US *in general* is a bit more straight-laced that Europe. Between the two cultures, the US is always seen as a bit more uptight and not as "laid back" about some cultural things as in Europe. Now, that's a huge oversimplification, and specifics depend upon where you live and who your parents are etc.

But some of it is the way the system is organized too.. The US has been described as a 'soft/ hard' culture, and in Europe a 'hard/soft' culture. That is, in the US there is a lot of freedom given to families and individuals, but as you get older and get more responsiblities life gets harder and harder. As an example of this, the European education system has tracks for high performing students, and if you can get into these tracks early you have more free time and more freedom when you get to college. As an example, in the UK there was the "university track" and the "trade school track" and it was almost impossible to change from trade school to university. And once you got to college, it was rather hard to really fail out. (This has been changing over the last some years though). In other countries in Europe, if you could get into the right secondary school, you pretty much had it made -- the Ecole in France, being a good example.

In the US, elementary and high school is pretty easy, and you can coast through them, unless you parents really knuckle you down, or unless you want to tool in. However, there is no simple and free track through college, and there is no free track through working -- so its a bit harder. In the US you don't get nearly the same amount of vacation and time off, and folks work more and harder *on average* as an adult. Thers is also somewhat less of a social safety net in the US compared to Europe, and a more competitive work environment -- so the philosophy is more of "buckle down and get serious" about your life, earlier on.

This tends to spill over onto how parents deal with their kids and how they see things like staying out late and partying. I'll note that for my parents and most folks I know with 16 year olds, they expect things to start for the kids (even on the weekends) around 8 am or 9 at the latest on Saturday and Sunday, so getting home at 4 and spending another hour or so "entertaining" a friend isn't going to be seen as a good thing, if you're expected to be up and around 3-4 hours later doing family stuff.

As for colors -- *shrugs* pink for men's shirts is cool. Men's pants? hmm.. maybe to go out clubbing, but not to just hang out and wear. People dress up here just like there to go clubbing.

[Louweasel]

I think there are probably as many differences between the different European countries as there are between Europe and America.

When I was sixteen, I wasn't allowed out that late, bed by ten on school nights and back by midnight at weekends unless by prior arrangement) and I didn't drink much, but then again, the drinking age here in the UK is 18, as is the age for getting into nightclubs, so you have nowhere to go until 3 or 4 am at that age.
What you were wearing sounds about right. When I was in my last couple of years at school and certainly when I was at university, aged 18-22, I think everyone owned a gazillion polo shirts! They were often embroidered or printed witha club or society name. I for instance still own polo shirts advertising two chapel choir tours, the colege women's rugby team, and the building I lived in during my first year. \No pink ones though, although it is my favourite colour.
Boat shoes, similar to moccasins, were also quite popular at my college, as well as pink shirts. But they tended to be most prevalent amongst the posh boys (and girls) from private schools though.

Btw, that university/trade school thing has been obsolete for a good twenty years.

As for bringing home girlfriends/boyfriends, my parents (and most of the people I grew up with had a sort of unspoken rule - while you live at home, any friend who visits is welcome to stay in the spare room. When you have left home and are visiting with a boyfriend/girlfriend, you may share a bed if you so wish.

[Louweasel]

PS I'm not that much of a clubber but I'd think you'd have trouble getting into a club in the UK wearing khakis, or combats as I'd call them) as you usually have to be reasonably smart. Definitely no trainers (sneakers).

[LUDICROUS]

Re first poster: I Want your parents to be mine *cries*

I usually have to be home about midnight, cant bring girls home (Unspoken rule, but I really dont want to try, and id rather not fool around with a girl while my parents are in the house.. the house aint huge) and my mother is totally against me drinking. One night I came home absolutely pissed off my face. I thought my mum would kill me, but nope, she just said "i hope you learned your lesson" and dad said "heh, heard you drank a bit much?" and went all paternal styles. I still drink, its fun, and I suppose getting back at my mother behind her back is fun

Teen drinking is quite prevalent in NZ.