11-03-2004, 06:52 PM
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#1 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: West Coast
Posts: 2,786
| Bush "Rewards" Ohio
Interesting item from the Associated Press this morning:
Bush Looks to Ohio for Armed Forces Aid
AP 11:02 a.m. (Akron, OH)
Within minutes of receiving a concession call from challenger John Kerry, President Bush signed Presidential Order #4523, called the "Impressive Volunteer Armed Forces Augmentation Act."
The act joins other Bush initiatives whose names belie their actual intents, such as the Clear Skies Initiative--which loosened restrictions on polluters, and the Healthy Forests Initiative, which appears primarily intended to allow widespread harvesting of the country's National Forests.
Presidential Order 4523 mandates that all registered Republican men in Ohio between the ages of 18 and 68 immediately report for duty to the Armed Forces for service in Iraq and Afghanistan.
By 10:20 a.m. this morning, Army buses and commandeered Ohio Public Transportation vehicles could be seen going door to door in Akron, with uniformed service members escorting the eligible men to the waiting vehicles. Shocked loved ones had to be forcibly restrained by waiting goverment agents who accompanied the vehicles.
Chief Bush Advisor Karl Rove told a hastily gathered press conference at the White House that the action did not violate President Bush's promise that "there would be no draft as long as I am President."
Rove said, "There is no draft. The good men of Ohio have expressed their willingness to aid our fight against terror, and we were impressed enough to want to add each and every one to the war effort."
Ohio Democratic Party Chairman Dennis White was philosophical as he watched the men being shipped off to basic training. "You get the government you vote for," he told the throngs of Republican wives and relatives beseiging the Democratic Party offices for help.
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"Fraud is the creation of trust. And then: its betrayal."
William Black, Ph.D.
Last edited by Capt. Slo-mo; 11-03-2004 at 07:11 PM..
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| | | And now for this message... |
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11-03-2004, 09:15 PM
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#2 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,091
| ...what the hell...? | |
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11-03-2004, 09:20 PM
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#3 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: St. Mary's College of Maryland
Posts: 197
| Gallows humor
__________________
Hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another. ~Homer
Student St. Mary's College of Maryland
Philosophy Major: Will think for food.
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11-04-2004, 05:09 AM
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#4 | | Curmudgeon Emeritus
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Somewhere in your nightmares!
Posts: 25,961
| Well, those Ohioans DID keep him waiting, after all. Serves them right.
But I suspect that the bell would toll for Democrats, not Republicans. | |
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11-04-2004, 07:53 AM
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#5 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: ---->
Posts: 2,163
| This may get me "disappeared," but this is actually an effective combination of the Big Lie and Newspeak from the Bush administration, to cover up the actual rounding up of all males who voted Democrat in Ohio for immediate transport to Yucca Mountain in Nevada. (What, you thought it was being prepared for nuclear waste? That's more big lie/newspeak to keep inquisitive little eyes away from our concentration camps.) | |
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11-04-2004, 09:16 AM
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#6 | | Curmudgeon Emeritus
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Somewhere in your nightmares!
Posts: 25,961
| Someone has to carry the waste down into the pits of Mordor, er, I mean Nevada. | |
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11-04-2004, 11:58 AM
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#7 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,091
| Actually, Capt. Slo-Mo, that does strike home now that you mention it.
I remember being herded through the processing center with a whole bunch of young men and women, shoved onto buses with little more than the clothes on our backs, and told to take a good look out the window at those we loved - because it was the last look we were going to get. From there, transported out to the Colorado Springs Containment Camp...er, I mean, USAFA. | |
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11-04-2004, 02:50 PM
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#8 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Savannah, Ga
Posts: 6,136
| I feel like an idiot, but you are joking right? Just for the love of all that's good someone tell me he's joking...
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Exciting news- before even finishing Chem I, I have already received an invitation to work as a research assistant! | |
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11-04-2004, 03:49 PM
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#9 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: My happy place!
Posts: 1,514
| Jeeze... thank goodness I move a lot, I used to live in Akron.
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Sarah 
Probitas lauditur et alget.
Odi profanum vulgus et arceo.
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11-04-2004, 06:51 PM
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#10 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,091
| Hope you're talking about Capt. Slo-Mo, because I'm not joking. | |
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11-04-2004, 07:22 PM
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#11 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: None of your Damn buisiness! Or California.
Posts: 2,874
| Is this article from "the stranger" or "the onion?" Please tell me it is. It has to be or we definitely would have heard about it by now.
Last edited by Westley; 11-04-2004 at 08:26 PM..
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11-04-2004, 07:47 PM
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#12 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Savannah, Ga
Posts: 6,136
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by Soldier Hope you're talking about Capt. Slo-Mo, because I'm not joking. | Yes I'm talking about Slo-Mo.
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Exciting news- before even finishing Chem I, I have already received an invitation to work as a research assistant! | |
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11-04-2004, 09:01 PM
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#13 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,091
| Figured that made the most sense, but can never be too sure. | |
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11-06-2004, 02:46 AM
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#14 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2004 Location: Neverland.
Posts: 483
| Is this one of those new urban legends? My "ill will" compells me to hope that it's true. 
__________________
Sorry, but you can't believe anything I say. I always lie. In fact, I'm lying now.
"Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name,..."
Oh, yes, BTW..."non iligitimi carborundum", look what happened to me.
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11-06-2004, 03:32 AM
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#15 | | Curmudgeon Emeritus
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Somewhere in your nightmares!
Posts: 25,961
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by Sarah Jeeze... thank goodness I move a lot, I used to live in Akron. | So, the Pits of Mordor would be an improvement for you, then...  | |
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11-06-2004, 06:52 PM
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#16 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: ---->
Posts: 2,163
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by geezer Is this one of those new urban legends? My "ill will" compells me to hope that it's true. |
Um, yeah. It's just an urban legend. I made it up. No, really, honest, it was just a joke. Okay, guys? You can put the electrodes away now. Please? It was just a...
ggkkhthkphggllll...
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Just because you have the right, that doesn't mean it is right.
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11-07-2004, 12:15 AM
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#17 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2004 Location: Neverland.
Posts: 483
| Damn! I'm so freakin' disappointed! I was hoping the Evangelical Press Gangs were out and about. 
__________________
Sorry, but you can't believe anything I say. I always lie. In fact, I'm lying now.
"Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name,..."
Oh, yes, BTW..."non iligitimi carborundum", look what happened to me.
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