In the same vein as Gravity...Beer!

[Black Jeebus]

Well, how about this: who can come up with a good explanation of the creation of beer? Or if you aren't the beer type I think if you can come up with something creative about the creation of alcohol in general no one would complain. Again a rep point for the most entertaining.

[HillBilly]

Well this dude pissed into a cup one day...

[cornflower]

Beer was created for Bulimics who wanted a new, funner way to puke.

[HillBilly]

*off topic*

Cornflower, if/when you get drunk, would/does your signing get "slurred?"

[cornflower]

Originally Posted by HillBilly

*off topic*

Cornflower, if/when you get drunk, would/does your signing get "slurred?"

Yeah! Hahahah! It depends on the person though... but yeah it does get "slurred".

[HillBilly]

sweet!

*Return to Topic*

[mrbiggs]

Originally Posted by cornflower

Yeah! Hahahah! It depends on the person though... but yeah it does get "slurred".

I beleive the correct response was "what?!?! Me drunk!?! Of COURSE not! How could you ever even THINK of PROPOSING such a RIDICULOUS statement!"

[HillBilly]

Yes that too... but she feels she can trust me I hope...

Beer is what Santa gives REALLY, REALLY good kids for christmas. Insert whatever religion, etc.

[cornflower]

Originally Posted by mrbiggs

I beleive the correct response was "what?!?! Me drunk!?! Of COURSE not! How could you ever even THINK of PROPOSING such a RIDICULOUS statement!"

Nah, I get drunk, yeah. I don't drink often though, but when I get drunk... it's sorta embarrassing 'cause on more than one occasion it involved me waking up *ahem* unclothed.

[Black Jeebus]

Wait if 30 is more than 12 years from now... someone has been breaking a law (I think), and we all know, fencers never break the rules.

[mrbiggs]

Originally Posted by cornflower

Nah, I get drunk, yeah. I don't drink often though, but when I get drunk... it's sorta embarrassing 'cause on more than one occasion it involved me waking up *ahem* unclothed.

*Completely at a loss for words*

Though that is one of the greatest moments of "Oh, SH!T!" in the world.

[Sword-Chucks]

Alchohol was created out of the laziness of leaving things in the cellar too long, and now it serves laziness as the most pure energy source being digested directly into your blood stream. It was created out of nessesity, lack of energy and willpower spawned the solution to their own flaw, weakness became strength. Man now has the energy and willpower to go get a beer out of the fridge.

[LordTofuDog-jnr]

You people are all n00bs!

.... and God created the heavens and the earth in six days, and on the seven he thought to himself "I'm tired from all of this creating humanity, I need to unwind!" - Two days later god woke from his slumber wearing nothing but underwear and with a massive headache. God began thinking once more. "If ever humans piss me off I'm giving them this drink, headaches for all!" Now we have alcohol.

[dunastor]

Wasn't there a movie about splitting beer atoms, causing the beverage to get that nice white collar....?

[sabreur]

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Benjamin Franklin

Also fat. Mark Ray

[Mergs]

Beer was created so ugly people could have sex!

Beer and Politics

The division of the human family into its two distinct political branches occurred some 10,000 years ago, when humans coexisted as members of small bands of nomadic hunter and gatherers.

The pivotal event of social evolution was the discovery of beer. This epoch event was both the foundation of modern civilization and the occasion of the division of humanity into its two distinct subgroups, Liberals and Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain, and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so it was necessary to live close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days hunting animals to barbecue at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of the conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting, learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly barbecues where they ate, drink, laughed at the dumb conservatives for providing their food and drinks, learned how to small talk and made merry. This was the beginning of the liberal movement.

Liberal achievements include the domestication of cats and dogs, the trade union, the invention of group therapy and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that the conservatives provided.

Over the years, conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the Elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the less strong and stubborn Jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the "Designated hitter" rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat. Modern liberals depend on the governing bodies to support them.

Modern conservatives drink domestic beer, they eat red meat, and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, cowboys, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, and generally anyone who can live productively outside government. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who are willing to work for a living.

Liberals produce little. They like to "govern" the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. The liberals crept in after the wild west was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

This brings us to where we are today in America!

[latenight]

"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants
us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

[Stylothek]

But beer is not beer!
American Bud is crap.
Some British Ales are great, others are crap aswell.
The Eastern European Bud is quite decent.
But the best beers I find, are brewed in Germany,
the Beer's homeland ;-)
My favorite is Kölsch
But a Weizen will do too.

[Gav]

Beer: Helping ugly people have children since the dawn of time.

[Mergs]

Originally Posted by Stylothek

But beer is not beer!
American Bud is crap.
Some British Ales are great, others are crap aswell.
The Eastern European Bud is quite decent.
But the best beers I find, are brewed in Germany,
the Beer's homeland ;-)
My favorite is Kölsch
But a Weizen will do too.

While of German descent myself, I must argue with you about Der Vaterland being the homeland of beer. Actually the Egyptians first brewed it on a regular basis.

Czech Bud is pretty good. As are most of their pilsners. Outside Holland Heiniken is fairly crappy; Fosters is pretty good. Although, I have to admit, the best one I had came from the monestary outside Wildflecken, Kreutzberger.