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Old 09-29-2004, 06:49 PM   #1
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I need to talk to you DPF

Dear DFP, You told me that you loved since age 5. You promised me a house in Waialae Iki, a brand new Grayish Silver Toyota Celica and $4000 to $5000 in cash. What's up...you didn't deliver any of those things. You also told me I was healed. Why is it that I still hear you in an audible voice? You liar! You don't love me. You hate me, you jerk! You are an all time loser. Good luck to the next sucker who believes everything you say. If and when you come to Hawaii, I'll see you in court, better yet, Kaiser Emergency Room (best place to play a game). I know I'll grant you brake failure and mental illness. You will be transported by ambulance (New York Style). Don't any car move out of the way. But, don't kill him. Give him shooting pain. He loves it. He brags that he can do anything to others. So if he really loves me, and he is the male, take the pain. Will I hear a scream or a smile? Do you have wooden teeth like Abraham Lincoln? You are older than he is. I am not joking, just inquisitive. Do I sound sarcastic? I'm just fascinated at what people buy into. I spoke so highly of you and I didn't know $hit about religion. I have bad thoughts but it just comes. So, how does it stop? Do you enjoy flying your own bad thoughts? Would you like to be put on permanent disability? I never did see you heal a paralyzed vet or someone who loss a limb. I'll give you ALS, your favorite disease. I'll be honored to deliver high dosages of morphine that doesn't even work at all. Isn't that great news? What, I can hear you say, "you can't stand me". Now, did you do this to me and not make my medication work? Are you proud of your accomplishments or are you slacking on the job? I know you have an eternity to cause trouble. That is so dangerous. Please turn it off. Thank you. Do something right for the first time. Before, you give a disease make sure you can handle it if you are the sole person who received it. Are you macho enough? Are you really a woman? Why do you wear dresses? Do you change youth? Do you ever relax on your bed? Where is the real you? Can't you interact with people in heaven? You killed my parents over this disease? You stupid idiot. Bring them back and lose your annointing. You made a mistake. Bring everybody from heaven back to life. I hope there is such a thing as reincarnation. I love New Age churches. I just like to go to church and get a reading. No, on second thought I just like reading my numerology. I'm very fascinated by numerology and the meaning of a person's name. When you are ready, come to Earth and give a speech. Maybe, my phone will be ringing with callers apologizing for not believing. Pharmaceutical companies just love you! What is the cure for Cancer and AIDS? Do you want Cancer with mental illness? I'll give you at least one mental and one physical illness. When is the world going to end? Don't you think it will be boring when the world ends? I bet there is diseases in heaven. How do you stop fights in heaven or disagreements? Please reply by E-mail and not by personally visiting me.
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And now for this message...
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Old 09-29-2004, 06:51 PM   #2
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Are you on crack? Geez.
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My loverboy asked (in American Sign Language) what I was looking at on the computer:
Me: A fencing forum.
LB: A fisting forum?!
Me: God, NO! FENCING!
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Old 09-29-2004, 06:55 PM   #3
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RL pulled that from this website.

http://www.datejesus.com/contact/mai...ly26_2001.html

Actually pretty funny.
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Old 09-29-2004, 07:01 PM   #4
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I know! thats site is so cool.
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Old 09-29-2004, 07:04 PM   #5
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Bathe with JESUS?!?!?!?! DoubleYoo Tee Eff?!?!
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My loverboy asked (in American Sign Language) what I was looking at on the computer:
Me: A fencing forum.
LB: A fisting forum?!
Me: God, NO! FENCING!
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Old 09-29-2004, 07:23 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cornflower
Bathe with JESUS?!?!?!?! DoubleYoo Tee Eff?!?!
You say that now, but you know you're thinking about it. And he's dead too. Necrophile.
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Neinteen, will you go flirtying with me or if u do allow u kick my ass.
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Old 09-29-2004, 07:28 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Westley
You say that now, but you know you're thinking about it. And he's dead too. Necrophile.
Yeah, it's true, I want to boink Jesus.
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My loverboy asked (in American Sign Language) what I was looking at on the computer:
Me: A fencing forum.
LB: A fisting forum?!
Me: God, NO! FENCING!
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Old 09-29-2004, 07:29 PM   #8
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RL...you're seriously screwed up.
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Old 09-29-2004, 08:42 PM   #9
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Why? Just because I don't love Jesus the way that you love him?
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Old 09-29-2004, 08:46 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ReverseLunge
Why? Just because I don't love Jesus the way that you love him?
No, because your a turd.
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