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  1. #1
    Senior Member Array ReverseLunge's Avatar
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    I need to talk to you DPF

    Dear DFP, You told me that you loved since age 5. You promised me a house in Waialae Iki, a brand new Grayish Silver Toyota Celica and $4000 to $5000 in cash. What's up...you didn't deliver any of those things. You also told me I was healed. Why is it that I still hear you in an audible voice? You liar! You don't love me. You hate me, you jerk! You are an all time loser. Good luck to the next sucker who believes everything you say. If and when you come to Hawaii, I'll see you in court, better yet, Kaiser Emergency Room (best place to play a game). I know I'll grant you brake failure and mental illness. You will be transported by ambulance (New York Style). Don't any car move out of the way. But, don't kill him. Give him shooting pain. He loves it. He brags that he can do anything to others. So if he really loves me, and he is the male, take the pain. Will I hear a scream or a smile? Do you have wooden teeth like Abraham Lincoln? You are older than he is. I am not joking, just inquisitive. Do I sound sarcastic? I'm just fascinated at what people buy into. I spoke so highly of you and I didn't know $hit about religion. I have bad thoughts but it just comes. So, how does it stop? Do you enjoy flying your own bad thoughts? Would you like to be put on permanent disability? I never did see you heal a paralyzed vet or someone who loss a limb. I'll give you ALS, your favorite disease. I'll be honored to deliver high dosages of morphine that doesn't even work at all. Isn't that great news? What, I can hear you say, "you can't stand me". Now, did you do this to me and not make my medication work? Are you proud of your accomplishments or are you slacking on the job? I know you have an eternity to cause trouble. That is so dangerous. Please turn it off. Thank you. Do something right for the first time. Before, you give a disease make sure you can handle it if you are the sole person who received it. Are you macho enough? Are you really a woman? Why do you wear dresses? Do you change youth? Do you ever relax on your bed? Where is the real you? Can't you interact with people in heaven? You killed my parents over this disease? You stupid idiot. Bring them back and lose your annointing. You made a mistake. Bring everybody from heaven back to life. I hope there is such a thing as reincarnation. I love New Age churches. I just like to go to church and get a reading. No, on second thought I just like reading my numerology. I'm very fascinated by numerology and the meaning of a person's name. When you are ready, come to Earth and give a speech. Maybe, my phone will be ringing with callers apologizing for not believing. Pharmaceutical companies just love you! What is the cure for Cancer and AIDS? Do you want Cancer with mental illness? I'll give you at least one mental and one physical illness. When is the world going to end? Don't you think it will be boring when the world ends? I bet there is diseases in heaven. How do you stop fights in heaven or disagreements? Please reply by E-mail and not by personally visiting me.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Array cornflower's Avatar
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    Are you on crack? Geez.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Array Elemental's Avatar
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    RL pulled that from this website.

    http://www.datejesus.com/contact/mai...ly26_2001.html

    Actually pretty funny.
    Fleche!! Fleche for fantasy.

    "Dude! Zombie Keith Moon would be an unstoppable force!!

  4. #4
    Senior Member Array ReverseLunge's Avatar
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    I know! thats site is so cool.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Array cornflower's Avatar
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    Bathe with JESUS?!?!?!?! DoubleYoo Tee Eff?!?!

  6. #6
    Senior Member Array Westley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cornflower
    Bathe with JESUS?!?!?!?! DoubleYoo Tee Eff?!?!
    You say that now, but you know you're thinking about it. And he's dead too. Necrophile.
    I'm not Random. I'm Abstract.
    http://www.fencing.net/forums/thread...tml#post560736
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ivu5fLWBpc
    Neinteen, will you go flirtying with me or if u do allow u kick my ass.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Array cornflower's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Westley
    You say that now, but you know you're thinking about it. And he's dead too. Necrophile.
    Yeah, it's true, I want to boink Jesus.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Array Soldier's Avatar
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    RL...you're seriously screwed up.
    There are no damn chickens in my room!
    "All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke

  9. #9
    Senior Member Array ReverseLunge's Avatar
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    Why? Just because I don't love Jesus the way that you love him?

  10. #10
    Senior Member Array D+F+P=Hadouken!'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReverseLunge
    Why? Just because I don't love Jesus the way that you love him?
    No, because your a turd.
    "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. And from this side only! The flight of a half-man, half-bird. Dinosaurs nuzzling their young in pastures where strip malls should be. Cookies on dowels. All those moment, lost in time. Gone, like eggs off a hooker's stomach. Time to die" -Phil Ken Sebben

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