09-27-2004, 05:26 PM
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#1 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,091
| Enter at Own Risk
I'll expound on the disclaimer to begin with: The content of this thread will include discussion concerning rape. Don't read any further if you get troubled easily. | 
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09-27-2004, 05:30 PM
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#2 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 5,537
| alrighty then... ummmm wheres the content?
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"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. And from this side only! The flight of a half-man, half-bird. Dinosaurs nuzzling their young in pastures where strip malls should be. Cookies on dowels. All those moment, lost in time. Gone, like eggs off a hooker's stomach. Time to die" -Phil Ken Sebben
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09-27-2004, 05:31 PM
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#3 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,091
| I have a problem, that I would hopefully like some feedback on from the people here. I bring it here, because I know I can find a wide variety of perspectives, age, and experience.
I am talking to a woman I know online. She has been molested, abused, and violently raped for some time. I have no reason to believe it is over. I am sure the first question will be, "How are you sure she's telling the truth?"
There are some things you just can't make up and fake that well. I believe her whole-heartedly. And if I am mistaken, so be it - this is a chance I am willing to take, if I may be of any help to her.
She has never pressed charges, because she lives in a small town, and does not want to be dragged publicly through the entire ordeal. For the same reason, she is still unwilling to take actions to protect herself.
I...am at a complete loss. I want to help her in any way possible; I am looking for any possible way to make it end - any way to protect her. But I don't want to simply throw her out into the public. Her husband knows about it; he doesn't like to hear about it, though, can't take it. He is abiding her wishes to not say/do anything.
Any thoughts, ideas, words...anything, would be appreciated. Any way I could help her psychologically (she self-mutilates as well), emotionally, anything. Any way she could be protected more.
Anything...please. | |
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09-27-2004, 05:33 PM
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#4 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,091
| As a side note:
Please, I am begging everyone here - no jokes, no hijacking, no making light of this thread. | |
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09-27-2004, 05:34 PM
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#5 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Passing you on the inside... vroom
Posts: 1,299
| Do you know where she lives?
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Freedom of speech makes it easier to spot the idiots.
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09-27-2004, 05:36 PM
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#6 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,091
| Not yet. I know the state, and will shortly narrow it down to a closer area based on area code of a phone number. | |
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09-27-2004, 05:36 PM
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#7 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 5,537
| Well, if you think she's being stalked, then I would spend my day watching and waiting, in the shadows, and then taking action when you need to. The law is justice, but justice isnt always the law. If you love her, than stay with her and protect her.
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"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. And from this side only! The flight of a half-man, half-bird. Dinosaurs nuzzling their young in pastures where strip malls should be. Cookies on dowels. All those moment, lost in time. Gone, like eggs off a hooker's stomach. Time to die" -Phil Ken Sebben
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09-27-2004, 05:37 PM
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#8 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,091
| I am thousands of miles away from her. | |
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09-27-2004, 05:37 PM
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#9 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: DC & Vancouver
Posts: 2,068
| Oh man, that's really terrible. If it were me, I'd do EVERYTHING in my power to help her. If she keeps refusing, I'd talk to an authourity myself and ask for advice, and perhaps they can bring a psychologist or something to come to her place and talk her into pressing charges.
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My loverboy asked (in American Sign Language) what I was looking at on the computer:
Me: A fencing forum.
LB: A fisting forum?!
Me: God, NO! FENCING!
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09-27-2004, 05:39 PM
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#10 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Passing you on the inside... vroom
Posts: 1,299
| What state & area code
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Freedom of speech makes it easier to spot the idiots.
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09-27-2004, 05:40 PM
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#11 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,091
| I am not giving out any details about her. Perhaps tell me what you have in mind. | |
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09-27-2004, 05:43 PM
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#12 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Passing you on the inside... vroom
Posts: 1,299
| 1) contact her local prosecutor's office, and give them the story. provide them with every detail you have. they will investigate and proceed accordingly. you don't have to give them your name. you won't have to deal with police or anything like that.
2) ask the prosecutor's office for the number for their local victim services office, and repeat the drill.
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Freedom of speech makes it easier to spot the idiots.
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09-27-2004, 05:44 PM
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#13 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Passing you on the inside... vroom
Posts: 1,299
| those offices are county-level. if you don't have a county, call the state police.
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Freedom of speech makes it easier to spot the idiots.
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09-27-2004, 05:44 PM
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#14 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,091
| The problem is still this: She doesn't want to be dragged through a public trial, etc. I don't want to betray her trust, and offer her up for public recognition of all of it. | |
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09-27-2004, 05:45 PM
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#15 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Passing you on the inside... vroom
Posts: 1,299
| go do it now.
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Freedom of speech makes it easier to spot the idiots.
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09-27-2004, 05:46 PM
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#16 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,091
| I don't care if my name is known or not; I'm not going to give her name up until I have at least grudging permission from her. | |
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09-27-2004, 05:47 PM
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#17 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 4,804
| The greater part of rapes (something like 90%) go unreported. No personal experience here, but all studies/help groups/etc. say the only way to help is to get the affected party to report it. That is all. | 
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09-27-2004, 05:48 PM
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#18 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,091
| I will continue to try to convince her - but I will not betray her. | |
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09-27-2004, 05:51 PM
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#19 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 5,537
| Soldier, your an honorable man. I respect your integrity.
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"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. And from this side only! The flight of a half-man, half-bird. Dinosaurs nuzzling their young in pastures where strip malls should be. Cookies on dowels. All those moment, lost in time. Gone, like eggs off a hooker's stomach. Time to die" -Phil Ken Sebben
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09-27-2004, 05:51 PM
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#20 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Passing you on the inside... vroom
Posts: 1,299
| go do it now. you cannot in conscience allow this state of affairs to continue.
by the way, as this is an ongoing thing, it is clear this is being done to her by someone she knows. and it is very likely to happen again unless something is done.
she is opening up to you BECAUSE she wants something to happen. she won't let herself or her husband.
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Freedom of speech makes it easier to spot the idiots.
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