I sympathize with the complaints about large motions and "powerful" fencing, as well as finding someone who you just can't fence for some reason- a poor combination of your fencing and there's.
I've been fencing 2 1/2 years, so I will say, with some caution, that time helps you learn to deal with some of this. I remember in the first year or so of my fencing (and I stitched to epee AND continued foil about 6 months in) that I often didn't know what *I* was doing, much less what someone else of my similar level was doing.
I have a couple of suggestions, though I don't know how well they will apply. Disagages are a good idea, but a good disengage is very, very small, and quick. A friend of mine used to do disangages around door handles for practice.
If the disengages don't work, maybe trying to determine if there are patterns to the other fencer's parries of attacks. Does he or she have a favorite parry? It may be very good at stopping your attacks, but BECAUSE they have large, sweeping parries, there are a couple of weaknesses. If you can feint and convince them to parry, the parries will be slow because they are so large. Its VERY hard to recover from such large parries (I should know

). Also, it is slow to reposte from large parries because your blade has made such a long arc.
I think what all that was leading up to (sorry, its Saturday) is that if you can keep your blade work smaller and cleaner than theirs is, you may be able to use it to your advantage. Also, if you can't win a power game, try to avoid their blade. A good strong beat isn't any good when your blade is not there, or a "manly" parry does nothing when you've disangaged their parry. Also, does your blade sit, unmoving, in front of you? Sometimes, its harder for someone to "muscle" your blade if it is moving. Not hyper, excessive motion, but enough that it is not always still and inviting an attack on the blade.
As to poor combinations of styles of fencing, I think most fencers discover this. If one "style" doesn't work, try to fence with a different style. Do you always attack? Counter attack? Defend? So something unexpected. Take the attack with a parry-riposte if you usually counter attack. Take the initiative if you are a defender. Try different "styles" out. Different fencers should be fenced differently- you learn what does and doesn't work against that type of fencer and use it.
And boy was THAT a long post.
