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  1. #1
    Senior Member Array D+F+P=Hadouken!'s Avatar
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    Fencing and nature

    For footwork: Take a sausage and tape it to you back. Put a great dane behind you. Use perfect form. That dog will make you advance and retreat so fast that you cant even believe it.
    For point control: Stab fireflys out of the air.
    "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. And from this side only! The flight of a half-man, half-bird. Dinosaurs nuzzling their young in pastures where strip malls should be. Cookies on dowels. All those moment, lost in time. Gone, like eggs off a hooker's stomach. Time to die" -Phil Ken Sebben

  2. #2
    Senior Member Array Katman's Avatar
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    Oh yes, absolutely. I have better suggestions.

    Fence under the crushing weight of Niagra Falls! You will be as fast as lightning when you are finished. Wear only a barrel and fence epee.

    Stand enguarde all night in six feet of snow! You will be so hardened after this that your opponents will freeze under your gaze (after they have thawed you out).

    :P
    The solution to your problem is to fence another weapon.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Array Saber-Psycho's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by D+F+P=Hadouken!
    That dog will make you advance and retreat so fast that you cant even believe it.
    .
    And when, pray tell, will you be doing the said advancing?
    "You can honestly say that you can settle for a life full of repression and denial?" "And the dinner parties. You can never forget the dinner parties."

  4. #4
    Senior Member Array D'Artag-NOT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by D+F+P=Hadouken!
    For footwork: Take a sausage and tape it to you back. Put a great dane behind you. Use perfect form. That dog will make you advance and retreat so fast that you cant even believe it.
    For point control: Stab fireflys out of the air.
    I suspect your experience with Great Danes is limited. The one in my house would have that sausage before you could put your jacket on!

    Also, the firefly suggestion is of no use to us on the West Coast, where there are no fireflies . . .
    "Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never . . . never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense." Churchill, 1941

  5. #5
    Senior Member Array grphiw's Avatar
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    Actually the fireflies remind me of a funny archery experience. I was once at a range with a couple of friends, and I had one arrow left before we're all supposed to head down and retrieve. So I take a shot, nothing too serious as it's just a practice session. Right before it hits the target, I see suddenly two black things fly in opposite directions, away from the arrow. As we walk over to retrieve from our respective targets, I look along the ground to find that I had accidently hit a huge dragonfly. The arrow evidently clipped it's back and it simply split into two, smaller halves.
    "Steady as a mountain, attack like fire, still as a wood, swift as the wind. In heaven and earth I alone am to be revered."

  6. #6
    Senior Member Array D+F+P=Hadouken!'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by D'Artag-NOT
    I suspect your experience with Great Danes is limited. The one in my house would have that sausage before you could put your jacket on!

    Also, the firefly suggestion is of no use to us on the West Coast, where there are no fireflies . . .
    I own two great danes, a male and a female. Both harlequin. Both deaf as stones. Two loving dogs. Two expensive dogs. One of them is so stupid he chases his own shadow. Its funny. So yes, I have about 3 years experience with great danes. I'm sorry for you west coasters, you should see what it looks like to be out it the middle of a multi acre cornfield at 10:00. It is amazing seeing all of the fire flys at once. I'm in a good mood today, dont ruin it. Kudos.
    "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. And from this side only! The flight of a half-man, half-bird. Dinosaurs nuzzling their young in pastures where strip malls should be. Cookies on dowels. All those moment, lost in time. Gone, like eggs off a hooker's stomach. Time to die" -Phil Ken Sebben

  7. #7
    Just Joined Array The Outsider's Avatar
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    An ingenius suggestion, DFP. Boo suggested a similar drill using a hamster instead the of the great dane. While they are much smaller and furrier than the dogs, what they lack in size is more than compenstated for by their high intelligence and natural ability for leading military training drills. Boo also tells me that taping some seeds, and dried berries to your back would be greatly preferred over the sausage.
    Jump on my sword while you can, I won't be as gentle!

  8. #8
    Senior Member Array HillBilly's Avatar
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    An ingenius suggestion, DFP. Boo suggested a similar drill using a hamster instead the of the great dane. While they are much smaller and furrier than the dogs, what they lack in size is more than compenstated for by their high intelligence and natural ability for leading military training drills. Boo also tells me that taping some seeds, and dried berries to your back would be greatly preferred over the sausage.
    Okay. . .
    thetheory.tk

  9. #9
    Din Älskling Array esskreemr's Avatar
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    I thought that you were about to say you had someone fire an arrow at you so that you could work on parrying... Whew, thought I was the only one doing that
    "Since when does being a patriot in America mean shutting your mouth?"
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    zz,zz,zz,zz,zz,zz!

  10. #10
    Senior Member Array jeff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by D+F+P=Hadouken!
    I own two great danes, a male and a female. Both harlequin. Both deaf as stones. Two loving dogs. Two expensive dogs. One of them is so stupid he chases his own shadow.
    Do great danes have the same problem with deafness as dalmatians? Bummer if so, but at least they have an excuse for ignoring "come here!" and "stop that!" commands. One dog says to the next dog: "My name is 'Bad Dog Stop That' - what's yours?"
    "In theory, theory and practice are the same, but in practice, theory and practice are different."

  11. #11
    Senior Member Array Iwant2bafencer's Avatar
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    (refrains from making Bill Cosby comment.)

    We had fire flys in virginia, I loved to catch and release them (I was like 5).
    "Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men. It is the spirit of men who follow and of the man who leads that gains the victory." - George S. Patton

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