05-18-2004, 02:48 PM
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#1 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,091
| Metaphorical Weaponry
Okay, maybe I'm just enjoying this far too much.
So far, we seem to have Bullets of Queerness and Bullets of Straightness - do they maybe cancel each other out? And what exactly are they ammunition for? Can they be used only in Pistols of Sexuality (I believe there's a band called the Sex Pistols), or are they versatile ammunition that could be used in other things, such as the Six Shooters of Idiocy that were also mentioned?
Also, can anybody think of a better scope for my Rifle of Cynicism? Creativity doesn't seem to be doing the trick.
We've got the Helmet of Literalism to defend against the Bat of Pretend Ignorance; what can be used to protect against the Bazooka of Liberalism? | 
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05-18-2004, 03:13 PM
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#2 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 5,482
| Dont forget the mace of bigotry, or the flamethrower of environmentalness. Or perhaps the sniper rifle of controversy. Or the blowgun of foul language.
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"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. And from this side only! The flight of a half-man, half-bird. Dinosaurs nuzzling their young in pastures where strip malls should be. Cookies on dowels. All those moment, lost in time. Gone, like eggs off a hooker's stomach. Time to die" -Phil Ken Sebben
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05-18-2004, 03:26 PM
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#3 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2003 Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 186
| The Bazooka of Liberalism is easily defeated by the Cloak of Truth.
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Rick
"Uncommon valor was a common virtue."
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05-18-2004, 03:29 PM
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#4 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2003 Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 186
| I believe that the Telescope of Experience which sites the Rifle of Cynicism.
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Rick
"Uncommon valor was a common virtue."
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05-18-2004, 03:42 PM
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#5 | | Scavenger
Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 4,541
| The Armored Tank of Conservatism is easily induced to whirl in circles by the Crowbar of Religious Fundamentalism.
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I never made a mistake in grammar but one in my life and as soon as I done it I seen it. -- Carl Sandburg | |
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05-18-2004, 03:50 PM
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#6 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 4,971
| He believes "there's a band called the Sex Pistols"! Ow! Oh youth....
Don't forget the Mace of Mixed Metaphors!
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"In theory, theory and practice are the same, but in practice, theory and practice are different."
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05-18-2004, 04:17 PM
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#7 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Cleveland
Posts: 120
| The stilletto of sarcasm easily pierces the breastplate of irritating optimism, particularly when poisoned with the elixer of wit.
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It's not easy making this look easy.
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05-18-2004, 05:00 PM
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#8 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 196
| The cloak of truth is meaningless when viewed through the goggles of innocence.
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There are no boundaries in love, there are no boundaries in Rock 'n' Roll
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05-18-2004, 05:14 PM
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#9 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Sugar Land
Posts: 100
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by laughingduelist The stilletto of sarcasm easily pierces the breastplate of irritating optimism, particularly when poisoned with the elixer of wit. | You won't pierce MY breastplate of irritating optimism, its protected by a shield of blissfull ignorance!
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looks like I picked the wrong time to give up sniffing glue...
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05-18-2004, 06:44 PM
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#10 | | The Judge
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 4,103
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by Soldier So far, we seem to have Bullets of Queerness and Bullets of Straightness - do they maybe cancel each other out? | no. if you have two people, one shooting each gun, on either side of you, you're doubly dead. doesn't cancel. Quote: |
Originally Posted by Soldier And what exactly are they ammunition for? Can they be used only in Pistols of Sexuality (I believe there's a band called the Sex Pistols), or are they versatile ammunition that could be used in other things, such as the Six Shooters of Idiocy that were also mentioned? | *cough* gender pistols 
and yes, the sex pistols were a band...
(i'm young and i knew that, they're classic) Quote: |
Originally Posted by Soldier Also, can anybody think of a better scope for my Rifle of Cynicism? Creativity doesn't seem to be doing the trick. | scope of jaded life outlook? Quote: |
Originally Posted by Soldier We've got the Helmet of Literalism to defend against the Bat of Pretend Ignorance; what can be used to protect against the Bazooka of Liberalism? | the cocktail umbrella of conservatism?  | |
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05-18-2004, 08:04 PM
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#11 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,091
| And, as fencers, we must always be sharpening the edge of that ever-useful Dagger of Sarcasm. | |
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05-19-2004, 04:09 AM
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#12 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2003 Location: UK
Posts: 1,565
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by noodle and yes, the sex pistols were a band...
(i'm young and i knew that, they're classic) | Ah the Sex Pistols! They wet the bed of complacent conservatism with the weewee of anarchy, by getting their version of "God Save the Queen/the fascist regime...etc" to number one in thecharts the week of the Queen's Silver Jubilee in 1977 (the year I was born). Class.
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Louweasel
"I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from" [Eddie Izzard]
"she might not look like much, kid, but she's got it where it counts"
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05-19-2004, 05:08 AM
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#13 | | Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Scotland
Posts: 4,547
| Personally, I find it useful to have the Axe of Moderation to hand. It has the ability to destroy the Post of Annoyance or shear the legendary Thread of Opprobrious.
I dislike the Shield of Self Righteousnes [it's too shiny]. And, I've noticed a marked rise in use of the Polearm of Polemic. | |
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05-19-2004, 05:52 AM
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#14 | | Immortal
Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Heidelberg, GE
Posts: 5,380
| I like Occam's Razor, to shave unneeded complexity and reveal spurious arguments...
I'm fond of the Blunt Weapon of Reality and the Irresistable Juggernaut of History, which eventually subdue all ideologies.
I also like the Lasers of Science, from the broadest to the narrowest beam, which reveal and illuminate.
And finally the Net of Art, which forms meaning and wisdom out of knowledge, the Dart of Wit, which punctures self-importance, the Shield of Humility, which protects against pomposity, arrogance and fanaticism, and the Balm of Humor, which turns aside the taunts of the ill-informed and softens our own attacks...
MR
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Why sabre? Because you don't take heads with the point.
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05-19-2004, 06:04 AM
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#15 | | Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Scotland
Posts: 4,547
| Quote: |
Also, can anybody think of a better scope for my Rifle of Cynicism? Creativity doesn't seem to be doing the trick.
| I find the broad spectrum Scope of Irony does the trick. | |
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05-19-2004, 06:33 AM
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#16 | | Curmudgeon-in-Chief
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Somewhere in your nightmares!
Posts: 22,912
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Originally Posted by Soldier Also, can anybody think of a better scope for my Rifle of Cynicism? | The Leupold of Mordance? Quote: |
We've got the Helmet of Literalism to defend against the Bat of Pretend Ignorance; what can be used to protect against the Bazooka of Liberalism?
| The Ablative Armour of Conservatism.  | |
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05-20-2004, 08:47 PM
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#17 | | Just Joined
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 10
| Well, you are more than welcome to borrow my Scope of Sarcasm. I discarded it after discovering that my Morningstar of Righteous Overkill didn’t have the appropriate mounts for it. Sadly, I had to switch back to the Rolled-up magazine of Temperance after the whole housefly on the Ming dynasty vase incident.
And as long as you are raiding my armoury, you might wish to take the pepper-spray of bitter rejection, The sledgehammer of diplomacy, and the nuclear warhead of moderation.
By the way, beautiful post, Sabreur.
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At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.
Emo Phillips
Last edited by DarkAcolyte; 05-20-2004 at 08:50 PM.
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09-03-2004, 05:06 PM
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#18 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Orange County, California
Posts: 775
| The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon, but the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true.
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"Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never . . . never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense." Churchill, 1941 | |
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09-03-2004, 05:55 PM
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#19 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Connecticut
Posts: 693
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by D'Artag-NOT The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon, but the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true. | I thought the pellet with the poison was in the chalice from the palace, the flagon with the dragon has the brew that is true.
Ha! I have a mind of useless trivia!
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Not to recognize the power of the Titanium Spork is to be in denial.
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09-03-2004, 05:59 PM
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#20 | | Curmudgeon-in-Chief
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Somewhere in your nightmares!
Posts: 22,912
| No, they both have iocane powder in them. | |
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