Metaphorical Weaponry

[Soldier]

Okay, maybe I'm just enjoying this far too much.

So far, we seem to have Bullets of Queerness and Bullets of Straightness - do they maybe cancel each other out? And what exactly are they ammunition for? Can they be used only in Pistols of Sexuality (I believe there's a band called the Sex Pistols), or are they versatile ammunition that could be used in other things, such as the Six Shooters of Idiocy that were also mentioned?

Also, can anybody think of a better scope for my Rifle of Cynicism? Creativity doesn't seem to be doing the trick.

We've got the Helmet of Literalism to defend against the Bat of Pretend Ignorance; what can be used to protect against the Bazooka of Liberalism?

[D+F+P=Hadouken!]

Dont forget the mace of bigotry, or the flamethrower of environmentalness. Or perhaps the sniper rifle of controversy. Or the blowgun of foul language.

[Ramrod]

The Bazooka of Liberalism is easily defeated by the Cloak of Truth.

[Ramrod]

I believe that the Telescope of Experience which sites the Rifle of Cynicism.

[Peach]

The Armored Tank of Conservatism is easily induced to whirl in circles by the Crowbar of Religious Fundamentalism.

[jeff]

He believes "there's a band called the Sex Pistols"! Ow! Oh youth....

Don't forget the Mace of Mixed Metaphors!

[laughingduelist]

The stilletto of sarcasm easily pierces the breastplate of irritating optimism, particularly when poisoned with the elixer of wit.

[Masterurethane]

The cloak of truth is meaningless when viewed through the goggles of innocence.

[Monkeyboy]

The stilletto of sarcasm easily pierces the breastplate of irritating optimism, particularly when poisoned with the elixer of wit.

You won't pierce MY breastplate of irritating optimism, its protected by a shield of blissfull ignorance!

[noodle]

So far, we seem to have Bullets of Queerness and Bullets of Straightness - do they maybe cancel each other out?

no. if you have two people, one shooting each gun, on either side of you, you're doubly dead. doesn't cancel.

And what exactly are they ammunition for? Can they be used only in Pistols of Sexuality (I believe there's a band called the Sex Pistols), or are they versatile ammunition that could be used in other things, such as the Six Shooters of Idiocy that were also mentioned?

*cough* gender pistols
and yes, the sex pistols were a band...
(i'm young and i knew that, they're classic)

Also, can anybody think of a better scope for my Rifle of Cynicism? Creativity doesn't seem to be doing the trick.

scope of jaded life outlook?

We've got the Helmet of Literalism to defend against the Bat of Pretend Ignorance; what can be used to protect against the Bazooka of Liberalism?

the cocktail umbrella of conservatism?

[Soldier]

And, as fencers, we must always be sharpening the edge of that ever-useful Dagger of Sarcasm.

[Louweasel]

and yes, the sex pistols were a band...
(i'm young and i knew that, they're classic)

Ah the Sex Pistols! They wet the bed of complacent conservatism with the weewee of anarchy, by getting their version of "God Save the Queen/the fascist regime...etc" to number one in thecharts the week of the Queen's Silver Jubilee in 1977 (the year I was born). Class.

[Gav]

Personally, I find it useful to have the Axe of Moderation to hand. It has the ability to destroy the Post of Annoyance or shear the legendary Thread of Opprobrious.

I dislike the Shield of Self Righteousnes [it's too shiny]. And, I've noticed a marked rise in use of the Polearm of Polemic.

[sabreur]

I like Occam's Razor, to shave unneeded complexity and reveal spurious arguments...

I'm fond of the Blunt Weapon of Reality and the Irresistable Juggernaut of History, which eventually subdue all ideologies.

I also like the Lasers of Science, from the broadest to the narrowest beam, which reveal and illuminate.

And finally the Net of Art, which forms meaning and wisdom out of knowledge, the Dart of Wit, which punctures self-importance, the Shield of Humility, which protects against pomposity, arrogance and fanaticism, and the Balm of Humor, which turns aside the taunts of the ill-informed and softens our own attacks...

MR

[Gav]

Also, can anybody think of a better scope for my Rifle of Cynicism? Creativity doesn't seem to be doing the trick.

I find the broad spectrum Scope of Irony does the trick.

[Inquartata]

Also, can anybody think of a better scope for my Rifle of Cynicism?

The Leupold of Mordance?

We've got the Helmet of Literalism to defend against the Bat of Pretend Ignorance; what can be used to protect against the Bazooka of Liberalism?

The Ablative Armour of Conservatism.

[DarkAcolyte]

Well, you are more than welcome to borrow my Scope of Sarcasm. I discarded it after discovering that my Morningstar of Righteous Overkill didn’t have the appropriate mounts for it. Sadly, I had to switch back to the Rolled-up magazine of Temperance after the whole housefly on the Ming dynasty vase incident.
And as long as you are raiding my armoury, you might wish to take the pepper-spray of bitter rejection, The sledgehammer of diplomacy, and the nuclear warhead of moderation.

By the way, beautiful post, Sabreur.

[D'Artag-NOT]

The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon, but the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true.

[FoilyGeezer]

The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon, but the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true.

I thought the pellet with the poison was in the chalice from the palace, the flagon with the dragon has the brew that is true.

Ha! I have a mind of useless trivia!

[Inquartata]

No, they both have iocane powder in them.