parents

[jojo13]

i have been fencing for a few years, but i just recently got really serious about competing and stuff like that...the problem is my parents think that i cannot handle dividing my time between fencing and school; for this reason, they won't let me go to practice

this puts me in a very difficult situation, since i love this sport so much, but that is something they don't understand...does anyone know how to work around this???

[boing]

hey there, as a student, i can understand what you're going through. here are some things you can try:

don't argue with them, it'll only aggravate the situation. try to work out a compromise. for instance, if your grades are stable/improving, while spending time fencing, it shows you're responsible and know how to allocate your time; it will let your parents know that you can study and take time to fence. also, it's proven that when a student participates in sports/clubs/work/etc. (up to a certain degree), the student doesn't waste time and gets things done. you can let them see all the benefits of fencing like workout both mentally and physically! as maybe a last resort: i don't know how involved you are in school but perhaps you can cut down on another activity to fence.

these are just some suggestions but i'm sure things will work out great at the end. it seems that your parents are worried about your grades slipping which is normal. i believe just about every kid and parent go through this situation at some point. ask them to prove yourself that you can do this. give it time.

i hope this helps and i wish you luck.

boing-

[KShan5[PrFC]]

beg, cry, whine...always works

[Maeve_Mari]

Originally Posted by KShan5[PrFC]

beg, cry, whine...always works

Uh, not.
Show them the assignments you have for the week. Tell them you will show them the completed assignments as you complete them during the week. Ask for a deal or a contract: "I will demonstrate and perform for during a two/three week period that I will keep up with homework while fencing. And the bonus, offer to drop something else - Instead of paintballing on Saturday I will read ahead in English."

It works. But the real deal is that you have to find a way to keep up with both (more) activities. Homework in the car, in the salle during breaks, at lunch, study hall.

[KShan5[PrFC]]

Wow, I was going for sarcasm...guess I missed the mark.

[jojo13]

yeah, see the thing is, i'm already a 2nd semester senior...where grades still count, but not as heavily anymore. i thought i would be able to concentrate more on the things i love to do, but evidently "fencing will not be a good career and you will ruin your college academics if you continue to fence"....meaning, i have to quit fencing NOW.

this blows

[telkanuru]

You have a severe case of OIPS (Over-Involved Parent Syndrome). I don't think they can particularly stop you once at college, if your college has a team. And you might want to point out that there are a good deal of fencers at each college who fence and are not failing.

[whtouche]

If your parents don't believe it is possible to do anything in addition to studying they must be very boring people. Seriously.

It's not possible to spend every spare second of every day studying - and it's even adverse to do so. It is VERY possible to balance MULTIPLE activities and still maintain strong academic averages. Some of the best students I know are fencers, and nearly ALL students I know in excellent academic standing have one activity or another.

[Tireur]

Well, college is just around the corner. You could just ride it out

[MHS Fencer]

Speaking as somebody who spent his second semester senior year umm, well, not failing, but not doing so hot (my average for my last semester must have been 10 points below my average for high school) it doesn't matter that much - honestly! If you fail any of your classes, well, that'd be a problem with colleges, but short of that all you'll get is a little letter warning you not to slack off too much (I didn't even get this). Then again, this probably won't convince your parents of anything.

Parents need to understand that fencing is something that you love - my fencing ended up hurting my grades, and my parents could see that there was a relation there - then again, it also helped me get into college and it was something that I had a passion for. It wasn't because it helped me with college that my parents let me keep going and competing and missing lots of school - it was because they knew that I love it and that I'd feel hollow/empty without it, and so they kept supporting me.

Chances are that if you quit fencing you'll end up doing worse because you won't have a reason to schedule your time intelligently and will just wind up whiling it away doing useless things. I forget the source, but student athletes who are out with injuries generally do worse in school than when they are competing because they no longer have the incentive to schedule themselves.

You can even tell them that you'll get your homework done before you go to practice - if practice is right after school then you can do work during lunch or in other classes (just be careful not to let your teacher notice). I had to do this at first, but I also had an hour or so of free time before practice, which I had to dedicate to homework until I convinced my parents that I could schedule myself and didn't necessarily need to get it all done before I left for practice (then again, I also had an hour-long commute including a 40 minute train ride each way, which gave me a lot of time to do work, especially reading).

Good luck with your parents - if all else fails, let them watch you fence and see how happy you are fencing. If they understand that they'll let you keep on going to practice.

[boing]

hey jojo13, like what others say, once you're in college, it's a bit difficult for your parents to watch you. as a college student myself, it's total freedom with only the studying that restrains you. so, technically, you can join your college fencing club/team without your parents knowing and just wait it out till classes start in the fall.

however, who wants to wait that long to fence right?? you said your parents said fencing isn't a good career? well, i'm not too sure where you stand but let them know that you're not fencing for a career but going to college to get a degree in something say business or science or whatever (although personally, there's nothing wrong about fencing for a career) but fencing is your hobby, passion. fencing is a way for you to let out some frustration from school or something to do outside of school. in fact, colleges encourage students to be a part of the campus community i.e. get involved! so fencing is "getting involved!"

personally, i've noticed that since i've started to fence, i've learn to not waste time and get my studies done early to make time for fencing. i'm studying more during the weekends and in between classes. it's a motivation to fence during the evening.

i know your parents are worried about your academics. so as of now, try to work out a deal like someone said. finish your hw and then go practice. show them your report card so they can visually see any "changes." also, the second semester is already half over, so in just a few months, it's the summer and you can fence all you want.

when college starts in the fall, continue to explain that you fence during your free time but also study to keep up with your grades i.e. assuming you tell your parents which you may or may not want to do...i told my parents that fencing was my motivation now to read my textbook, study early, and etc etc. like i was saying earlier, this will also show you can allocate your time wisely.

i know this is a hard time for you right now. i've been there and as well as other students. i believe it's patience, compromising, and understanding. i'm sure your parents also have something they like to do just as much as you like to fence.

anyhow, sorry for the long reply. i really hope you get to fence at the end. worse comes to worse, when college starts, you can join your fencing club or a local club in the area. in the meantime, practice your footworks at home, watch fencing videos/dvds, etc.

hey, sometimes what they don't know won't hurt them!! take care, boing-

[Inquartata]

Smile and say "Great! Without fencing I'll have lots more time to smoke, drink, use drugs, get into fights and sleep with loose women! Thanks, see ya later, gotta go buy a trench coat and download plans for pipe bombs now, bye!"

[Lee Yue Yang]

I cut down on things like TV and hanging out to study and that managed to convince my parents that fencing isn't hurting my results.
You give a little,you get a little.

[Maeve_Mari]

Originally Posted by KShan5[PrFC]

Wow, I was going for sarcasm...guess I missed the mark.

Sarcasm! My kids use it on me for real every day!

[FoilyGeezer]

Originally Posted by Inquartata

Smile and say "Great! Without fencing I'll have lots more time to smoke, drink, use drugs, get into fights and sleep with loose women! Thanks, see ya later, gotta go buy a trench coat and download plans for pipe bombs now, bye!"

ROFLMAO

And tell them that since you can't fence anymore, you're thinking about joining a band.

[rukovsoft]

Hi guys,


try to show that to your parents.
it was done by the USFA. The document was written by BFC administrators.
http://www.bostonfencingclub.org/for...guide-form.pdf

[Rolls]

Of course, you could always wait until you turn 18. Then, do whatever you please. Choose a college that has fencing as a sport.

Look at a certain age, you have to start telling your parents to back off. ESPECIALLY, if you're over 18. If you're not, then just be patient. Sounds like you're right around the corner. It's not your parent's life, it's yours. Don't worry about them withdrawing financial support either. If you're in college and they are attaching strings to their support (i.e. no fencing), then you probably are better off without it. I know plenty of traditional college students who put themselves through college.

I would DEFINITELY suggest choosing a college with a fencing program if at all possible. Or at least in a city with an active fencing scene.

Rolls.

[Hamley]

I guess im lucky my parents abuse fencing... they drop me off at the club for like 3 hours so im not home annoying them. Show your parents you are responsible. Also if your good enough show them that you could get a scholership into college off of fencing.

Noah

[DanInMI]

Originally Posted by Inquartata

Smile and say "Great! Without fencing I'll have lots more time to smoke, drink, use drugs, get into fights and sleep with loose women! Thanks, see ya later, gotta go buy a trench coat and download plans for pipe bombs now, bye!"

Actually, not a bad argument.

Try this....get GREAT grades. Show them you can do both.
Negotiate great grades for fencing, kinda hard to say you can't handle dividing your time between both fencing and school if you are getting As and Bs.

[Tireur]

Originally Posted by Hamley

I guess im lucky my parents abuse fencing... they drop me off at the club for like 3 hours so im not home annoying them. Show your parents you are responsible. Also if your good enough show them that you could get a scholership into college off of fencing.

Noah

If you're going to get a scholarship, you'll have to do better than this...

"like 3 hours" not really 3 hours, but "like 3 hours", "your" instead of you're (twice) "scholership" instead of scholarship and "off of fencing" instead of "a fencing scholarship".

Also, how do your (notice the possesive) parents "abuse" fencing?

That's what happens when you don't pay attention in English.