President Bush's Resume

[civiltech]

Forwarded Mail I thought was nifty:

RESUME

GEORGE W. BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

Law Enforcement:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the
influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's
license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost"
and is not available.

Military:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a
drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the
Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

College:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a
cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business
in Midland,Texas, in 1975.
I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company
went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took
land using taxpayer money.
With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry
(including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making
Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston
replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America. I cut
taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in
borrowed money. I set the record for the most executions by any
governor in American history. With the help of my brother, the governor
of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became
President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal
record.

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one
billion dollars per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any
12-month period.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the
U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans
lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleezza
Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S.
President.

I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most
corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends,
Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in
U.S. History, Enron.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to
assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election
decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against
investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent
investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent
investigating one of the biggest corporate rip- offs in history.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to
intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed. I
presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
government contracts.


I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any
President in U.S. history.

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in
the history of the United States government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S.
history.

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations
remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war"
detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election
inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any
President since the advent of television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year
period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the
worst security failure in U.S. history.

I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center
attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country
in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to
simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people),
shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of
mankind.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked,
pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I
did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S.
citizens, and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in
duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in wartime.

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking
Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans
(71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and
security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a
WMD.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden [sic]
to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's
library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my
bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
view.
All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President,
attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and
unavailable for public review.


PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.

[Strytllr]

That piece has been online for quite some time.

A rebuttal to nearly every point was made on this website...

http://www.crossbearer.com/resume/The_Truth.pdf

I hate opinions that get circulated as facts.

[D'Artagnan1673]

so do I, esp. when there is nothing to back them up in the post itself.

[onesandzeros]

Umm... I think it was meant as a joke, Lighten up.

George W did fail his economics class in college. (Or so said my economics professor... back before he was elected prez)

[Strytllr]

Actually, the website that "bush's Resume" originally came from was indeed, not a joke. It was a very serious crack at him... *shrug*

I don't care for Bush personally, but I care less for defamation of character, especially on points that are wildly exagerated.

[Black Jeebus]

For what it's worth Bush is not the only Pres with a criminal record. I'm not sure if he was ever prosecuted but good old Andrew Jackson was quite the duelist in his time. I believe that would be murder. And to make it worse it was with pistols instead of swords we all know the sword is the tool of a gentlman.

[Inquartata]

In the interest of "humor", maybe someone could find a correspondingly pointed "resume" for John Kerry? Al Gore? Bill and/or Hillary Clinton?

Ah, but no, that wouldn't be funny, would it? Because everyone knows that they are all just honest, virtuous, hard-working, brilliant people with no black marks in their records and no flaws...

[Army Fencer]

Originally posted by Inquartata
In the interest of "humor", maybe someone could find a correspondingly pointed "resume" for John Kerry? Al Gore? Bill and/or Hillary Clinton?

...or a certain Abraham Lincoln.

[HilandDoug]

OK, I'll bite, and post a bit about that haughty, French-looking Democrat, who by the way served in Viet Nam, John Kerry. This is pasted from Strangecosmos.com:

I've long thought that John Kerry's war record was phoney. We talked about it when you were here. It's mainly been instinct because, as you know, nobody who claims to have seen the action he does would so shamelessly flaunt it for political gain. So I spent a couple of hours on the internet yesterday, made a bunch of notes, and I'm sending them as an attachment. In addition, look at the website http://25thaviation.org/johnkerry/id15htm. Somebody went to a lot of trouble to chronicle Kerry's checkered career.

I was in the Delta shortly after he left. I know that area well. I know the operations he was involved in well. I know the tactics and the doctrine used. I know the equipment. Although I was attached to CTF-116 (PBRs) I spent a fair amount of time with CTF-115 (swift boats), Kerry's command.

Here are my problems and suspicions:

(1) Kerry was in-country less than four months and collected, a Bronze Star, a Silver Star and three purple hearts. I never heard of anybody with any outfit I worked with (including SEAL One, the Sea Wolves, Riverines and the River Patrol Force) collecting that much hardware so fast, and for such pedestrian actions. The Swifts did a commendable job. But that duty wasn't the worst you could draw. They operated only along the coast and in the major rivers (Bassac and Mekong). The rough stuff in the hot areas was mainly handled by the smaller, faster PBRs.

(2) Three Purple Hearts but no limp. All injuries so minor that no time lost from duty. Amazing luck. Or he was putting himself in for medals every time he bumped his head on the wheel house hatch? Combat on the boats was almost always at close range. You didn't have minor wounds. At least not often. Not three times in a row. Then he used the three purple hearts to request a trip home eight months before the end of his tour. Fishy.

(3) The details of t! he event for which he was given the Silver Star make no sense at all. Supposedly, a B-40 was fired at the boat and missed. Charlie jumps up with the launcher in his hand, the bow gunner knocks him down with the twin .50, Kerry beaches the boat, jumps off, shoots Charlie, and retreives the launcher. If true, he did everything wrong.
(a) Standard procedure when you took rocket fire was to put your stern to the action and go balls to the wall. A B-40 has the ballistic integrity of a frisbie after about 25 yards, so you put 50 yards or so between you and the beach and begin raking it with your .50's.
(b) Did you ever see anybody get knocked down with a .50 caliber round and get up? The guy was dead or dying. The rocket launcher w! as empty. There was no reason to go after him (except if you knew he was no danger to you just flopping around in the dust during his last few seconds on earth, and you wanted some derring do in your after-action report). And we didn't shoot wounded people. We had rules against that, too.
(c) Kerry got off the boat. This was a major breach of standing procedures. Nobody on a boat crew ever got off a boat in a hot area. EVER! The reason was simple. If you had somebody on the beach your boat was defenseless. It coudn't run and it couldn' t return fire. It was stupid and it put his crew in danger. He should have been relieved and reprimanded. I never heard of any boat crewman ever leaving a boat during or after a firefight.

Something is fishy.

Here we have a JFK wannabe (the guy Halsey wanted to court martial for carelessly losing his boat and getting a couple people killed by running across the bow of a Jap destroyer) who is hardly in Vietnam long enough to get good tan, collects medals faster than Audie Murphy in a job where lots of medals weren't common, gets sent home eight months early, requests separation from active duty a few months after that so he can run for Congress, finds out war heros don't sell well in Massachsetts in 1970 so reinvents himself as Jane Fonda, throws his ribbons in the dirt with the cameras running to jump start his political career, g! ets Stillborn Pell to invite him to address Congress and Bobby Kennedy's speechwriter to do the heavy lifting, winds up in the Senate himself a few years later, votes against every major defense bill, says the CIA is irrelevant after the Wall came down, votes against the Gulf War, a big mistake since that turned out well, decides not to make the same mistake twice so votes for invading Iraq, but oops, that didn't turn out so well so he now says he really didn't mean for Bush to go to war when he voted to allow him to go to war.

I'm real glad you or I never had this guy covering out flanks in Vietnam. I sure don't want him as Commander in Chief. I hope that somebody from CTF-115 shows up with some facts challenging Kerry's Vietnam record. I know in my gut it's wildy inflated. And fishy.

[KShan5[PrFC]]

btw, he also went to Harvard Business School.

[Inquartata]

While I respect the fact that Kerry served and served in a combat zone, I have to wonder about those Purple Hearts, too. Three in four months amounts either to phenomenal bad luck, very poor soldiering, or, as HilandDoug's post puts it, something "fishy"...

[civiltech]

Originally Posted by HilandDoug

OK, I'll bite, and post a bit about that haughty, French-looking Democrat, who by the way served in Viet Nam, John Kerry. This is pasted from Strangecosmos.com:

I've long thought that John Kerry's war record was phoney. We talked about it when you were here. It's mainly been instinct because, as you know, nobody who claims to have seen the action he does would so shamelessly flaunt it for political gain. So I spent a couple of hours on the internet yesterday, made a bunch of notes, and I'm sending them as an attachment. In addition, look at the website http://25thaviation.org/johnkerry/id15htm. Somebody went to a lot of trouble to chronicle Kerry's checkered career.

I was in the Delta shortly after he left. I know that area well. I know the operations he was involved in well. I know the tactics and the doctrine used. I know the equipment. Although I was attached to CTF-116 (PBRs) I spent a fair amount of time with CTF-115 (swift boats), Kerry's command.

Here are my problems and suspicions:

(1) Kerry was in-country less than four months and collected, a Bronze Star, a Silver Star and three purple hearts. I never heard of anybody with any outfit I worked with (including SEAL One, the Sea Wolves, Riverines and the River Patrol Force) collecting that much hardware so fast, and for such pedestrian actions. The Swifts did a commendable job. But that duty wasn't the worst you could draw. They operated only along the coast and in the major rivers (Bassac and Mekong). The rough stuff in the hot areas was mainly handled by the smaller, faster PBRs.

(2) Three Purple Hearts but no limp. All injuries so minor that no time lost from duty. Amazing luck. Or he was putting himself in for medals every time he bumped his head on the wheel house hatch? Combat on the boats was almost always at close range. You didn't have minor wounds. At least not often. Not three times in a row. Then he used the three purple hearts to request a trip home eight months before the end of his tour. Fishy.

(3) The details of t! he event for which he was given the Silver Star make no sense at all. Supposedly, a B-40 was fired at the boat and missed. Charlie jumps up with the launcher in his hand, the bow gunner knocks him down with the twin .50, Kerry beaches the boat, jumps off, shoots Charlie, and retreives the launcher. If true, he did everything wrong.
(a) Standard procedure when you took rocket fire was to put your stern to the action and go balls to the wall. A B-40 has the ballistic integrity of a frisbie after about 25 yards, so you put 50 yards or so between you and the beach and begin raking it with your .50's.
(b) Did you ever see anybody get knocked down with a .50 caliber round and get up? The guy was dead or dying. The rocket launcher w! as empty. There was no reason to go after him (except if you knew he was no danger to you just flopping around in the dust during his last few seconds on earth, and you wanted some derring do in your after-action report). And we didn't shoot wounded people. We had rules against that, too.
(c) Kerry got off the boat. This was a major breach of standing procedures. Nobody on a boat crew ever got off a boat in a hot area. EVER! The reason was simple. If you had somebody on the beach your boat was defenseless. It coudn't run and it couldn' t return fire. It was stupid and it put his crew in danger. He should have been relieved and reprimanded. I never heard of any boat crewman ever leaving a boat during or after a firefight.



I'm real glad you or I never had this guy covering out flanks in Vietnam. I sure don't want him as Commander in Chief. I hope that somebody from CTF-115 shows up with some facts challenging Kerry's Vietnam record. I know in my gut it's wildy inflated. And fishy.

I heard the US military gives out medals like thier going out of style. No offense to the people who truly deserve a Bronze Star, but there are a lot of medals handed out "loosely."

[elberto]

what would one give as Clinton's resume?!
Is there one somewhere?

Cigar - what did he do after he "used" them so to speak.. put them back in the box to give out to his next guest.. to make them think they were cuban cigars rolled on the thighs of cuban virgins?

smoking marijuana but not inhaling... (yeh.. right.. what about passive smoking?! was he that much of a pussy at parties? forgive the pun..)

how many pay outs (financial settlements) for women did he make as govenor and president? for sexual abuse claims...

free willy... If she hadn't had the DNA stained dress he would most likely have gotten away with it and made the poor intern, Monica, look like a lying skank... He could have apologised in the beginning before all the money was wasted on it - he could see the republicans were seriously after him as he gave them a good opening.. (he purjured (lied in court.. oral sex is not sex.. please... "I did not have sexual relations with that woman" [shoud he have said girl.. she was pretty young].. will the sex education classes in schools be re-written?) himself big time didn't he?)

whatever was thet scandal with Hillary watershed or whatever .. was that thing ever proved? or just forgotten again in the big mess...

what about whenever the media got too attached to looking up his little "mistakes" he just had a few more missiles fired at Osama.. some which didnt go off so he sort of funded the dweebs as they were able to sell the missiles...


Just a few interesting points I guess... correct me if I am wrong.... I'm not quite in the states... Australia...
but I had my laugh at Clinton's errors and mistakes...
they will affect politics for some time to come... will always follow the democrats around like toilet aper under the shoe....

[Maeve_Mari]

"John Kerry did not have to think all that hard about joining the military and going to Vietnam. He had doubts about the wisdom of U.S. intervention in Vietnam, which was rapidly escalating during 1965-66, his senior year at Yale. But Yale leaders were expected to serve..."

"Kerry, who has always loved physical risk (he spent his senior year at Yale learning how to pilot planes and still flies and windsurfs), was an aggressive warrior. He famously beached his boat, jumped off and shot a Viet Cong before he could aim his grenade launcher. Kerry's JFK act was a little off-putting at first. "I thought, Jesus Christ, Audie Murphy just walked onboard," Jim Wasser, Kerry's No. 2 on Swift Boat PCF-94, recalled to NEWSWEEK. But his crew trusted him. "I don't think he was overly risky," says Mike Madeiros, the rear gunner aboard PCF-94. "He never was 'Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead'." There was some grumbling among Kerry's fellow officers that he was medal hungry. Kerry received three Purple Hearts for minor shrapnel wounds that others might shake off, though no one doubted that he had bravely faced enemy fire. Anyone wounded three times could ask to be transferred home, and Kerry did after four months of combat duty. But Kerry was a good leader and considerate of his men, and he arranged for them to get safer assignments when he left. David Alston, a gunner aboard the Swift Boat, recalls, "After a fire fight, John would come up and he would put his hand on me and he would say, 'David, are you all right?' And I began to think, 'You know, he cares about me'."

[I_luv_saber]

smoking marijuana but not inhaling... (yeh.. right.. .)

I always wondered... If he didn't inhale, how did he know he didn't like it?
Just a thought...

[KShan5[PrFC]]

That same article in Newsweek, I have it around here somewhere, said that Bush did try to go to Viet Nam and that he was one of the top 5% of all pilots his trainer had ever seen. He was not allowed to go for one, becasue he was training on outdated aircrafts and I fotget the second reason.

[Inquartata]

Originally Posted by KShan5[PrFC]

That same article in Newsweek, I have it around here somewhere, said that Bush did try to go to Viet Nam and that he was one of the top 5% of all pilots his trainer had ever seen. He was not allowed to go for one, becasue he was training on outdated aircrafts and I fotget the second reason.

I don't know if it's what you mean, but part of it may have been that the Johnson Administration was refusing to use the NG for political reasons.

[KShan5[PrFC]]

To quote the article:

"The standard rap against Bush is that he was ducking combat by joining the Guard. Actually, the Texas Air Guard had a program called Palace Alert that allowed pilots to volunteer for flight time in Vietnam. Three of Bush's fellow pilots-Udell, Woodfin, and Fred Bradley-recalled to Newsweek that Bush inquired with the base commander about signing up for Palace Alert. He was told no; he had too few flying hours at the time and his plane, the F-102, was by then deemed obsolete for air combat."

[Maeve_Mari]

...the other reason he did not go to Viet Nam, besides the fact that he was training on an airplane that would no longer be used in combat service, is that he was, during his time in the NG, tending to and working on the senate campaign of a republican friend of his fathers.

I don't want to start smoking jet here, but there is also rumor that a problem with substance abuse kept the young gun grounded and out of Viet Nam.

[PeterGustafsson]

Hi!

Originally Posted by Inquartata

In the interest of "humor", maybe someone could find a correspondingly pointed "resume" for John Kerry? Al Gore? Bill and/or Hillary Clinton?

Ah, but no, that wouldn't be funny, would it? Because everyone knows that they are all just honest, virtuous, hard-working, brilliant people with no black marks in their records and no flaws...

Doing that effort for Al G and Bill C seems wasted to me. For the others: someone who has found time for over 3000 posts here surely can find time for that too.

Doubt that it would hinder those politicians though. Hillary has never AFAIK claimed to have a war record, and many dem-leaning voters probably don´t care whether John K really "earned" all his medals or not.

Have a nice time!

Peter Gustafsson