Monday night I didn't feel like going to fencing but went anyway. qatet wasn't there. I fenced Mike, Tom, and Charlotte (who is back from Egypt) and, because Tom fences left-handed these days, I worked on the threat to hand with lots of success. It was only a good while later that I realized Ahren had taught me the entire lesson left-handed, which was why it worked on Tom. I am firmly right-handed, but because I have a fair amount of experience with left-handers I just plain don't notice if I'm fencing a right-hander or a left-hander. I just adjust.

I was debating whether to go to a tournament or two, and Ahren reminded me that this month is for getting stronger and losing weight. I'm down about six pounds from the Christmas excess and feeling pretty comfortable. The "stronger" part isn't going as well because my husband is getting physical therapy for his shoulder so isn't going to the gym, and I have less impetus to make it there in the cold weather, especially when I get home as late as I have been lately.

Tonight, I watched a bout from 2004 between Jason Rogers and Ciari while balancing on the whatever-it-is (qatet told me its name, but I've already forgotten - the half-ball exercise toy) while playing music on my iPod and wearing my ADHD T-shirt. I must have been a sight. The bout was fun to watch. Rogers wasn't fencing it all that well, but Ciari pumped his arm a few times, hit Rogers on the visor once, and argued with the referee (the lugubrious gentleman with the big moustache, an international referee of some distinction who once refereed women's veteran sabre while looking as if he smelled something bad) one too many times and earned a red card.

I took a lesson with Ahren and told him I needed to work on a version of the action for righthanders, so we worked on that. The hand is still low, extended a little farther out because the tip has to be angled slightly across the body and threatening the inside of the wrist. Close in, when the opponent beats, let the tip bounce back up into the hand. Farther out, parry and riposte. Five and three work best; four is a little awkward. Even farther, and we worked on feint of counter-attack followed by real counter-attack. Ahren prefered a hit to the body as the real counter-attack because it's easier to sell to the referee; I think the remise to the hand is better because it's more consistent with my game, and can be done one-light more easily.

qatet was there tonight and I only fenced her. She was working on her stuff, I was working on my stuff, and we must have fenced for around half an hour. The upside of controlled task bouting is that it works beautifully. The downside was that I pretty much lost my ability to make a straight attack. I told Ahren we should return back to gaining step and attacks next week.

Am reading CHOKE. Highlights:

Choking can occur when people think too much about activities that are usually automatic. This is called “paralysis by analysis.” By contrast, people also choke when they are not devoting enough attention to what they are doing and rely on simple or incorrect routines.

And,

Choking is not simply poor performance, however. Choking is suboptimal performance.

Which describes my problem - I tend simply to fence slightly less well in the gold medal bout.

I've gotten a couple of suggestions from the part I'm reading that make sense: One, listen to distracting music or do something entirely unrelated. It's easy to focus too much on the task at hand, which at this point should be automatic. Two, focus on the big picture rather than on the details. Let it be automatic. It should be.