Today I got 4 loans to closing so I'm like 3 loans away from that goal that I'm supposed to meet. I didn't like the way I got the loans though. The way they're doing it at work is that if you have a vacation day and one of your loans is ready to schedule they reassign it to another processor who closes it and gets credit for it.

You could spend like 2 months trying to close it and then someone else nips in and you get burned because you had a vacation day or whatnot.

3 of them were from a girl who was out sick and was struggling and a lot farther behind than I was. It pissed me off because its like management is making us steal from each other kind of.

I talked to some of my fellow processors about it, all of us didn't like it and didn't think it was fair but fairness really isn't on the agenda.

Its like I want to end the job either by quitting or being fired but theres this little part of self doubt that makes me worry about it being such a bad economy and wether things will work out for me if I do.

My lease on my apartment is coming up soon so I have to make the decision soon if I'm going to Florida or staying in Michigan. If I'm staying I need to make the decision wether to keep working as a processor or make the break to be a signing agent.

I guess I'll need to do for myself what I do for loans, set a deadline on deciding what I'm going to do and stick to it.

Its funny how fencing seems to be going so well for me when everything else seems to be falling apart for me. I wonder if that means I perform better under high stress than when not stressed out. If that's so I would find that kind of ironic...