Ok, so it is time for another pity party. I could not convince my wife to drive me to the local tournament today. I have not fenced since about a week before my seizure on September 8. Granted, that bought me a week in hospital, but I thought all this medicine, CPAP, carving my head like a melon, were supposed to make me better.

The reason for needing “Mommy” to drive me to the tournament is that my drivers license is suspended for at least 90 days. At that point I get re-evaluated from a medical standpoint and the DMV makes a decision whether or not to give it back to me. I was fine this week in Seattle at my law conference. I did get tired fast, but I did a lot of walking and sitting and I am out of shape.

What I need to do is get off my a$$ and start making some phone calls about getting a chair. I really am not sure how my balance will be. I am having vertigo attacks again when I go from standing to lying down. So a few practice lunges have not had the most favorable outcomes. Good thing there is no longer a card for falling down.

I just want to do this and unfortunately, get blasé about things, just like all the Doctors told me I would get. It is a combination of drugs and what has happened to my brain. It has been almost three years since the stroke and first brain surgery and 16 months since they opened me up for the craniotomy and really jerked things around. Then of course there is the cyst that they don’t know if it will require surgical intervention or not.

I am scared that I will never be allowed to fence again. I have not loved a sport like this since I started playing basketball in the 8th grade. For what am I looking, I guess just an ear for one of “those days” that they told me I will have. I really wanted to fence in the tournament today. Until I get the OK from the Doctor, it is walks around the block and poking holes in the sheetrock in my garage. I really hate it when the garage wins.

Thanks guys.