I went to see the neurosurgeon that originally sent me over to Barrow for treatment after my stroke for my quarterly cry. Every time I see him I tell him how I owe him my life and start blubbering. He responded yesterday by reminding me about the God of neurosurgery over in Phoenix. Every time he does that I remind him about whom it was that knew I had to get over there to see him. Touché.

I asked him if he had gotten the report from my MRI and what he thought and he said there are some malformations still present but that at this time they pose no problem. (This time? OK, so I had a MAJOR overhaul) He also said that it does appear to be healing and that yes my recovery to date is very impressive.

I asked him about perforators and he said they are a series of veins into the brain stem. My balance Dr. said that some had been pulled free and so I asked about that. He said that when you are in the region you try not to disturb them, but sometimes it is unavoidable. He said they can cauterize them if they are bleeding into the brain cavity during surgery. However, there should be no long term effect, but it could have caused some of the smaller issues if the brain has not compensated for them.

The classic moment was when I told I had just read “Brain Aneurysms and Vascular Malformations.” The look on his face was classic. I then asked him, “I guess a lot of your patients don’t read that stuff?” He said no. Go figure.

However, as I was wide awake at my usual 3:30-4:00 I just got so frikken angry about this. I just want to be “normal.” I would prefer to be back where I was, but at this time I wish I could accept this. I mean I looked at the patients in the Unit this week when I was in Phoenix and realized I was just like many of them when I was there and worse than some. I was so determined to get out of there and get back to work and fencing and the twins that I would not stand for anything less, so why should I now?

I am going to NAC and I am going to finish on my feet. I owe so much to so many of you for helping me get this far. If you are going to be at NAC next week please stop by Men’s Vet 50 foil or epee and introduce yourself. Like I said before. The last name is Weiss.