that about sums it up. Iam afraid to go to sleep for not waking up.
This one has hit harder than the rest and It just seems so easy to give in to it. Sometimes I can barely stand up (good thing I'm a chair fencer now) and I am always so tired. I am not seeing improvement. I will have to ask Robin if she has noticed if I have.
I just dwell on my doctor telling me "if you read between the lines of what they said in PHX it is the beginning of the end" I just have to wait to hear from my DR
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that about sums it up. Iam afraid to go to sleep for not waking up.
This one has hit harder than the rest and It just seems so easy to give in to it. Sometimes I can barely stand up (good thing I'm a chair fencer now) and I am always so tired. I am not seeing improvement. I will have to ask Robin if she has noticed if I have.
I just dwell on my doctor telling me "if you read between the lines of what they said in PHX it is the beginning of the end" I just have to wait to hear from my DR
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Apparently I will continue to have strokes/seizures and most likely plateau at a lower level each time until I finally croak. He is going to send a letter to my surgeon describing how I am right now to see what his opinion is. If there is a chance I could survive another craniotomy I will probably have it done. I hate the way I am now. I am wondering if I will fence once more.
We have weekend that is all boys all the time and I just can't roll on the floor like I used too. My playtime
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To all my friends You all how I have been struggling lately with my health. I have gotten to the point where I am afraid to go asleep now for fear of not waking up any more, it is terrifying to face your own mortality.
However, through this whole thing you have been there to provide support and hope, all I relay can say is that it has meant more than you can ever know. I plan on beating this thing and I plan to fence again. Thank you all and I plan on fencing in Dallas at the qualifier
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I know i have been a whiny baby. But now I have trouble driving so I am only driving around town. He!!, all three cars are in use so I can't get to one anyhow. I think I had a tia over the last couple of days and I was very weak on my right, Good thing I am left handed.
I want to volunteer, but with no car that is kind of difficult and I am scared stiff about scaring the boys. To quote Michael Corleone, "this is not what I wanted."
I don't want to have my head carved open again and I miss
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No, I wasn't on a cheese holiday.(who get's that reference?)
A very nice day. Today I felt almost ready to fence in a tournament. I fenced two weapons, which is a mistake from the get go.
I started with epee and worked out some of the advance retreat issues. Of course, by later in the day I was too tired to move. I got to the point where I knew when an attack was coming and I just watched it happen. They look real pretty, but the wrong light goes off.
I can’t explain it. I think of 100 reasons not to fence and I make myself go. I feel so good now and I am in a great mood. I worked out with an AB all day, it was nice because he is another left hander, so now I have trouble fencing righties.
However every week I get reminded about the damage to my brain. Muscle memory, pooh. The Dr. has shown me the parts of my brain that are dead. It is trying to rewire, but until it does I just don’t have the reflexes I used to. This isn’t age, bef
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Ok, one of my many freak outs is should I just have the bypass surgery now and avoid the rush.
So I just called to talk to the resident about things because she is very close to the case, but she is done with her rotation. So who do I get? Dr. Spetzler himself, I almost blew my aneurysm.
He said there is no reason not to wait until next summer. If I have incidents before then we can reassess but I am cleared to fence.
I joked about using it as a reason for fencing poorly and he laugh
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Mr. No point control. When I fenced AB the safest place to be was right in front of me.
Unfortunately the new chair fencer could not make it today. However, the therapist did bring some other guys over. She is part of a program called “wounded warriors” for veterans with various disabilities.
It was so much fun working with these guys and doing what I could do on my feet. There was talk about letting them try chair fencing but I had to leave to spring my Scotties out of doggie priso
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I just finished wrapping up the rest of my office and it is sitting around me in boxes and bubble wrap. I am the original measure once cut twice guy. I underestimated what I needed and it was like a trip to Home Depot. Good thing the box store is right across the street. If it ain't a three tripper...
I am still waiting for the paperwork from my doctor so I can go out on disability. Because if I don't officers, C level and down to a certain level of manager are getting permanent pay cut
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11-18-2009 11:52 AM 