I don't blog much these days. Of all the things I have to say, half are related to students and not appropriate for public content, half I have no interest in telling the f.net community, and half are rambles.

Anyway, I was thinking about empathy and I have nowhere better to write about it than on here.

I'm convinced empathy is lacking from almost everywhere in the fencing world.* Coaches often don't have it for students. Refs don't have it for coaches. Head refs don't have it for grunt refs. Administrators don't have it for coaches, and around and around we go.
Coaching is by far my biggest involvement in the sport these days, seeing as I own a club. I am once again a competitive fencer, but coach is the important one for me for now, and for the future. Because of this, most of this entry is related to empathy and coaching.

Coaches are often TERRIBLE at it! Many coaches can relate to their top athletes. The student who is a younger version of the coach. The coach can often relate to them on a very personal level, and get through to the student. Thats gonna be a big part of why that student is successful. It creates a trusting serious relationship between student and coach. That said, coaches are AWFUL at relating to all their other students! If you're elite / competitive coach XYZ and you have a beginner walk through the door who's not an athletic gem, you're often not gonna be able to relate to him.

I've been to a number of clubs over the years, and I've seen it pretty consistently. Coaches are BAD at relating to kids! When that kid isn't athletically gifted from the getgo, many coaches have a hard time relating to him. Frankly, I don't get it. Is empathy really that hard? Is it that hard to look at where a kid is coming from, and relate to him on that level? My club does well with kids, and has a retention rate well above average. The coaching staff works very hard to be good with kids. A big part of it comes down to empathy. I relate well to kids, because I look at where they're coming from, get on their level, and go from there. I'm amazed at how little that seems to be happening across the national fencing scene.

Do coaches just not care about relating to kids? Are they unwilling to take the shot to their ego necessary in saying "because I'm XYZ and I said so" isn't good enough for kids, and you have it make it real for them? Are they uninterested in retaining the kids that aren't the natural athletes? It can't be that American coaches are SO dysfunctional they're incapable of feeling empathy! We're a messed up group, but we're not THAT bad!

Theres one other alternative besides the ones I just mentioned. Is it that there are so many coaches out there for whom coaching fencing is a hobby, or a side project, that they're not interested in being good at it? Its a deceptive concept, because you would think people would want to be good at things they do, but there is loads of evidence suggesting different. Some people just like running a small rec program. They aren't interested in making it more successful. They might see it as a small project, and the kids that want to learn fencing, they'll teach fencing to. Not being interested in doing all of the AMAZING things a coach can do for his students, and BEING the amazing person in a students life that a coach can be if he approaches his job right.

Just some random musings on empathy.

~Chris
Peninsula Fencing Academy

*Also the real world. Politics, customer service, EVERYTHING, but this is a fencing blog, and I'm a fencing coach.